


Broken Waves

by celerydragon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 04:50:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 55,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celerydragon/pseuds/celerydragon
Summary: Jongdae is a young merman afflicted with wanderlust.





	1. One

Chen floats near the surface of the ocean, eyes closed as he lets the rhythm of waves lull him into a restful state of mind. The light ripples gently over his face, and his dark hair swishes in time with the motion of the cool aquamarine water. His scales glint in the sunlight.

Maybe the birds think he's dead.

He flicks his tail a few times to deter any predatory animals and wonders what it would be like to fly. Or to walk on land. Or what it would feel like to have legs.  He imagines himself without his tail, as much as he loves it, walking upright on two separate appendages- and able to breath in the open air, not be restricted to the water. Wouldn’t that be a miracle? He sighs, a flurry of tiny bubbles escaping his mouth and gills each side of his neck.

He's not supposed to be this close to the coast, he's not allowed to be seen by anyone but he wants to see a human. He's been going to this place almost every day for a couple of weeks now, but he's never had the courage to go any closer than this.

He rolls over onto his front and gazes out over the light brown cliff face, adorned with overhanging trees and vines. A little further north of here there's a beach; he's seen it from a distance. Today, today _for sure_ , he'll go as near as possible to the sandy shoreline and watch the goings-on of humans. He'll stay by rocks so nobody sees him.

It'll be fine.

His tail flows behind him as he undulates gently, the tips almost blending in with the sea and looking like tiny whirlpools. He's not as fast as his brothers, some of them with eclectic barracuda tails, but then neither would he want to be: he'd miss all the sights and sounds he gets to see.

He's lucky, he knows that, his older brothers all have various responsibilities to attend to, and he-being the youngest-only has to turn up to the many royal banquets held by his parents looking presentable.

He's a prince, but only barely. He doesn't act like royalty, and has the smallest crown of all his older brothers and sisters. It's more of a tiara, really, but it's made up of intricately grown blue coral and encrusted with hundreds of miniature pearls. It looks best in the warm orange light of the sunrise, if Chen can stay in the air long enough. They match the scales of his tail in this ambience.

He's nearing the edge of the water now, but he spent so much time dithering that the light is beginning to fade and there probably won't be any humans there either way. He promises himself resolutely that he won't be disappointed if the whole place is empty.

He's a fair distance away from the sand still, but he can already see that this area is devoid of all life. The shore is too shallow for him to breathe comfortably so he takes to the rock pools scattered evenly along the edge of the cliffs.

Maybe there'll be something he can bring back, something he can reach from the water's edge, something he can use as a souvenir for when the security is too good for him to escape. He has no real interest in the miniature seascapes which inhabit these craters beyond not destroying them as he clambers ungracefully over each ridge. This is going to be a nightmare to escape from quickly, if he needs to make a getaway. He should have used the whole afternoon planning this out better, but no. Daydreaming. His father always said he had his head in the clouds. He wished for it.

It’s no good: nothing made by humans is in reach. Chen sighs, and folds his arms on the damp rock in front of him, keeping his chin below the water so he doesn't suffocate. Chen wonders if this is even a beach that humans like to visit, as surely, there would be more evidence of them if they liked it here? Houses, and seats and lights? There's just one little wooden thing- it can't be called a house, Chen thinks; too small- with the roof falling in on one side. Small green plants Chen has no name for peeking through the cracks in the wood.

It's so run-down, it’s likely that nobody has used it for years. If only it weren't so far away: it would be extremely undignified- but not impossible -for him to make his way across the sand. And of course he would have to hold his breath the entire time.

He thinks he'll be content to just stay here and stare dreamily for a little longer. Fantasising about the feel of sand grains between his toes. Then he'll go back home and see whether anyone missed him, or even noticed he'd gone.

A clattering sound which resonates from inside the shack makes him jump and cling tightly to the slippery rock beneath him, heart palpitation like a wild thing. He nearly turns and sprints away, not caring about the damage the rocks might do to him in the panic, but the rational side of his brain manages to convince himself to stay. This could be the biggest chance of his life!

He struggles to keep his tail from thrashing around in the shallow water, and making a noise that could attract attention, as he anxiously anticipates whatever is going to emerge from the shack. A land animal, perhaps? He’s seen those flying creatures, birds, before. They can go above both land and ocean so it’s easy for him to watch them sometimes. But a land animal that can’t go in or over water, he’s never seen one with his own eyes before.

The door swings open, warm yellow light appears, and spills like the ocean itself onto the ground outside. Chen ducks down behind the rock as best he can to hide from view, so when he hears the heavy sounds of footsteps in the soft beach terrain he gasps involuntarily.

There’s something there! A human?

He leans around the side a little bit, but he can’t see anything. After what feels like a long and torturously frustrating period of this, Chen huffs and –frowning terribly- slithers like an eel between the gaps to get a better look. He ignores how the sharper stones cut into his flesh, wincing when they graze his scales noisily.

There, now he has a clear, or clear _er_ , view of this magnificent creature. He can’t tell whether it’s a boy or a girl or not – he doesn’t know what to look for on a human- but it’s definitely a human. He watches it stroll further away from him, occasionally tossing something into the water.

Chen’s eyes are glued to its feet, its swaying casual gait as it meanders back down again. It’s covered partially by a sort of sewn together cloak thing, and some strange looking tube things that go over about half of his legs, revealing a bendy bit just beneath the edge. Its knee, he realises. Attached to its feet are flat things Chen hasn’t ever seen before.

Chen is breathless with elated nerves, and he covers his mouth to avoid making any sounds that might give him away. He can’t believe it! He’s going to be in so much trouble when he returns, but it’s all going to be _so_ worth it.

He’s within reaching distance of a species he’d thought to be impossible to contact. Chen doesn’t understand why it’s forbidden to be seen by this creature. He doesn’t look particularly harmful, and now that it’s facing towards him. It has a rounded (compared to Chen’s own,) serene looking face, but it doesn’t look shiny at all; where are his gills? No scales?

He looks so strange, but also intriguing.

Chen touches his neck, fingering the slits in his tough pale skin that allow him to breath. It’s weird to think that humans don’t have these. It’s uncomfortable having to have them right now, it would be so much more convenient to have lungs the same as a human.

The magnificent creature in front of him produces a buzzing sound but for the life of him, Chen cannot figure out how. His mouth is not open, like a merperson’s would be if they were singing, but it sounds like the same sort of thing, if rougher. Drier.

It’s fairly pleasant actually, and it makes Chen want to join in. He likes singing, but there is no use of such a talent in the palace, so it goes by unused for great lengths of time. Suddenly, the cadence of the sound changes, and so too the texture. The creature is making different sounds, sounds he doesn’t know. They feel familiar, but Chen cannot make heads or tails of them.

He will need to study up on this, in the palace library. It had never occurred to him that humans might have different words to him. In fact, a lot of things about this sighting have instilled revelations in Chen.

Chen watches the creature rapturously, paying close attention to the way it moves its lips, and he wonders if he could make sounds like that, those flowing, rolling, tumbling words. Chen takes in the stringy anemone of fluff on the human’s head; is that what hair looks like without water? He wants to touch it, to see if it feels the same.

The singing human tapers off, and pushes its face into its hands. This image strikes a chord in Chen. It’s sad. Chen’s magnificent creature is sad, and he can’t do anything about it. The human drags one hand through his tuft, and Chan is fascinated by the way it flops between his fingers, despite his caring nature.

Then he lies back on a piece of pliable looking material that Chen hadn’t noticed until now, and covers his eyes with his forearms. Its chest rises up and down in a way Chen assumes is relaxed.

His human stays that way for a long time, the sky cycling through sweet oranges and pinks, to royal purples and blues that could rival his father’s tail. A smattering of stars twinkle gently, the moon dances in her reflection upon the ocean’s surface and Chen’s stomach is complaining both of hunger and discomfort.

He’s been lying in the same place for a long time now, and if his family didn’t notice he was gone earlier, they surely will have by now.

He regretfully wishes that this human will hurry up and go inside, so he can get out of this uncomfortable position and go home to get something to eat. He’ll come back another day very soon, he reasons, so it’s not like he’ll miss him that much.

But wait? What if this human never comes back again? What if he’s just passing through, and this is just a nice place to spend a short period of time? He frowns.

His human makes a noise, a bad one this time, arching its back off the ground and reaching its arms above its head. It gets up, with difficulty, the groans –punctuated by the occasional hissed syllable- play as a soundtrack to his troubles.

It limps back into the little shack, and with another harsh sounding word, it slams the door behind him, the whole building quaking in its wake. Chen sags in relief, his body strumming with tension. He’d been worried he’d be stranded here, with no way of return and then eventually being found by this creature, this human.

His muscles scream in protest as he moves them for the first time in far too long. With a grunt, he manages to haul himself over the rocks and into the shallow water of the shoreline. Its embarrassing how much flailing he has to do to get into deeper water- he hasn’t had to exert so much effort to move since he was _very_ little. At least no one is here to see him.

The moment he thinks that, he remembers that humans have ears, and can probably hear all the plashing he’s making. This propels him forward faster, needing desperately to get away from this place before he is caught. The water catches in his gills in his haste, and his insides burn from the effort.

Finally he’s in water deep enough to swim in, the currents billowing around him like old friends as he pulses forwards, convincing himself that he didn’t hear that creaky door open behind him. That it was just his imagination.

When he is calm again, he focuses primarily on getting home before his parents pluck off his scales. It is then that it occurs to him how far he has to travel to get there. He sighs; he’s in for a lot of discipline when he returns home.


	2. Two

Chen arrives home in the dead of night after traveling as fast as possible for hours. Not a single ray of sunshine reaches the ocean floor where the palace lies, built into an underwater canyon; a deep, deep crevice in the darkest depths of the sea where no human could possibly ever find them.

He’s surprised and upset to find that some of the lights are still on, glowing softly but starkly against the rich blackness. That means his parents are still awake, and likely looking for him too. He’s going to be in so much trouble when he gets in.

Is there even any point trying to sneak in? No one who works around the entrance would help him get in undetected, and he’d need to go see them anyway to stop them from worrying. Facing them head on is probably the best way to go, he decides after a moment of deliberation.

He sidles up to the main door, nearly four times his length when his hands are pointing towards the surface, and considers for a moment. What is he going to say to them? How does he explain himself out of this mess?

He doesn’t really have any excuses; he doesn’t normally need to bother. Usually everyone just lets him do whatever he wants, except for formal occasions where he’s barricaded into his chambers and adorned with even more pearls than on his tiara. It’s such a hassle, since they insist on rearranging the pearls each time they use them, in different coloured patterns.

He trembles, and feels himself sinking lightly, since he’s not physically moving. His hair rises up and makes him look like an anemone. He shakes his head, flails his tail once then slowly and sullenly makes his way over to the door, trying to be as unnoticeable as possible.

“Chen?” a voice echoes in the darkness, making him flinch and freeze.

“Yixing!” he chuckles nervously, eyes darting everywhere. Yixing is the person who guards the door. There isn’t a word for his position in English, so butler will have to suffice, although that doesn’t sum up his role exactly.

“Chen! Everyone had been looking for you! Where have you been?” Yixing glides closer, the polished marble blades hanging from his belt glistening in the dim light from the window. Oops. He’d hoped no one would see him.

Yixing, despite being one of the best trained fighters the Palace League has ever seen besides Jongin, is also one of the most compassionate and caring people Chen knows. He’s possibly the only person to give a damn if he hurts himself, even if they’re not particularly close. It’s a little uncomfortable talking to someone who could gut you at a moment’s notice.

“I was, uh, out,” Chen readjusts his tiara, a habit he’s developed ever since the thing was placed on his head all those years ago. Yixing tilts his head disbelievingly, but disregards him, beckoning him closer with one finger. Chen floats closer, almost hypnotised, and Yixing snares his wrist in his unbreakable grip.

“Come with me,  _Tywysog Ifanc_ ,” ‘ _young prince’_ Chen grumbles soundlessly. That is all he will be known for, if at all. The youngest prince. The useless one. The one that doesn’t do anything worth recalling. He can’t fight, he can’t speak to people, or do anything his older brothers can do. All he can do is sing, and nobody here cares for that.

The lights change subtly as Yixing pulls open the door enough for them both to fit through, then hands him off to Xiumin who drags the sullen prince further towards the throne room. No doubt they have already been informed somehow of his arrival and will be waiting for him there with cold, black eyes, like the deepest darkest cavern.

The inner door to the throne room doesn’t have a door like the outside, which he believes is similar to the design of human castles, but instead luminous kelp curtains. They sway gently in the cool currents, and beckon him in invitingly.

He should know better than to be fooled by its tricks by now, after all he was there when the spell was cast on them, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t spend as much time down this end of the palace, so he hasn’t built up immunity to it.

Xiumin gives him a look that says ‘you-deserve-what-you-get’ then pushes him inside. Chen drifts uncontrollably for a moment, ensnared in the kelp branches, but manages to right himself fairly quickly. His gaze doesn’t leave the carved stone floor as he draws nearer to his parents, sat regally atop their thrones.

He’s scared. This is completely out of the ordinary.  Why are they waiting up for him? They  _never_  wait up for him!

“Where have you been?” Chen hunches inwards at her words, but doesn’t look up. He doesn’t want to see her expression, which must surely be furious. He caught a glimpse of her ceremonial wear on the way in, and wonders if he missed something, because his father is dressed up too.

“I-I was just…swimming,” he manages to stutter out a response.

“Where?” his mother is a monotone immovable force, an undeniable presence in these halls. He can’t stand up to her.

“Just…nowhere. I was just  _out_ ,”

There’s a pregnant pause. He can feel himself slowly drifting out of position, but is loath to rectify himself as that would require a flick of his tail and he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself.

“The where and why are irrelevant,” His father’s voice is equally powerful, the depth of his voice reverberating through him and setting is scales a-tingle. He doesn’t dare look up.

“The point is we didn’t know where you were, and we certainly did not give you permission to go cavorting around the ocean by yourself. In future you are to stay put. In fact, you are not allowed to leave this palace until I say otherwise, understood?”

Chen bristles,

“Yes father,” he submits to his parents, knowing that he’ll just get a worse punishment if he tries to explain what he was doing. It will just sound like excuses to them, and he should be more responsible because of who he is. It doesn’t make him any less angry, though. His cold blood is boiling under his scales, racing around his body like the torrid water that comes up from the centre of the earth.

He bears the weight of their stares for a few moments longer, before they send him to his chambers.

“You are not allowed to leave until I send a servant to come and get you, understand?” Chen stays silent, scowling furiously at the floor and wondering morbidly how much force it would take to smash through it. Or how much force it would take to smash through  _them_.

“Is that  _understood_?”

“ _Yes_  father.” He hisses. 

"Good. You are dismissed," His father watches him stonily as he leaves the throne room, leaving a flurry of displaced water in his wake. He ignores Xiumn completely as sprints to his own chambers on the other side of the palace, and resisting the urge to throw aside the works of art that decorate the hallways; spiteful behaviour will get him nowhere. He reaches his chambers with burning lungs and realises his whole body is sore from the long journey he made today. His tail aches, and his arms too. 

He deflates, and sinks down onto his bed, made with the highest quality sea sponges, and fumes silently. He tears angry holes in his bedding, knowing that it will grow back with time, and curses his parents for even noticing his absence. It was fine before, why couldn't they just keep pretending he didn't exist? All his brothers and sisters were doing a perfectly good job of running the kingdom without him, they don't even need him.

He imagines the water around him turning black, and all the doors and windows closing, thus making it a solid reality that he's completely and totally trapped. The walls morph and change shape, shrinking in on him as he tries in vain to flee to find his human, but to no avail. Just as he's about to be crushed, between his bed and the farthest wall, he wakes up flailing. He hadn't even realised he'd fallen asleep.

Chen lies still as stone until the palpitations of his heart dissipate and he can no longer hear the rushing of his blood around his body. He's still feeling the aftershocks of fear though, so he heads over to the window- too small for him to fit through, unfortunately- and looks over the royal garden. There's not much to see at this time, becasue they don't turn on the lights until most everyone is awake, and so little sunlight reaches these depths of the ocean, especially not in a ravine like the one in which the palace is situated. 

On the other hand, some of the plants they cultivate here, Chen can't remember the names, emit a soft glow that gently illuminates some of the surrounding shrubbery. He leans against the windowsill, and daydreams. When he's finally freed the first thing he will do is go right back to his human and watch him. He wonders what would happen if he somehow managed to introduce himself to him, whether the stories they tell about them are true. Would his human's first reaction be to try and kill him? He hopes not, but honsestly he doesn't know enough about humans to be sure.

He almost drifts off there, waiting for the day to begin, watching through bleary eyes as they light the lamps. The coral-most of them white except for a few which lean towards more brows and grays, because there is so little sunlight down here- are the only things which do not move. The rest of the gardens are alive with movement: the kelp and other mobile plants sway seemingly in rhythm, and the shrooms gleam subtly.

What Chen marvels at the most however, as he has always, is how the coral is grown. Because corals aren't true plants, but something closer to skeletons, some merfolk have the skill- more akin to magic, and ability Chen does not have- to persuade the corals to spread in different ways, and the results are always stunning. Usually until they are fully grown, they are kept elsewhere, so all that is out in the gardens are statues. Some made to resemble other plants, and some are collossal creations, made in the likeness of members of the royal family. These go back generations. 

From where he's sat, Chen can't see much detail, but he knows all of the names of his ancestors who the corals were told to grow in the likeness of. To pass the time, he recites each one, and is about twelve generations back in history when a noise behind him alerts him to someone's presence. He stiffens but makes no more reaction than that. If anyone wants to talk to him, they're going to have to put in more effort than that. 

"Um, Chen?" It's Xiumin. His parents have probably signed him up for nanny duty. His calm mood is suddenly dashed and he feels petulant rage gushing forth. 

"What." He snaps, and Xiumin takes that as an invitation to come further into the room, Chen can hear the swish of the water as he draws nearer. He lays a hand on Chen's shoulder, and squeezes pityingly. 

"Your parents have decided that one turn of the moon is long enough for you to learn your lesson. You are not to leave palace waters during this time, _T_ _ywysog Ifanc,_ " he says quietly, as if he regrets it. Chen shrugs, and a moment later Xiumin's presence is gone.

Chen smirks to himself. If they really wanted to punish him, they should know him better. Chen is nothing if not resourceful. He has decided: he will use this time to comb through the palace libraries, and find out everything he possibly can about the humans. He knows the librarian won't help him; she won't be allowed to since he's being punished, but that's not too big a problem, he'll be fine on his own. 

He waits a little while longer, just to be absolutely sure that Xiumin isn't standing outside waiting for him to leave so he can follow him, and like an eel keeping to the shadows, slithers down the corridor. He remains largely unseen, except for a few servants who roll their eyes at his passing and continue on with their work as if nothing happened.

He reaches the library, and very few people are around so he heads to the section about humans. This part of the library is not particularly extensive, only a few small, stone-hewn shelves contain all the knowlege they have relating to air-dwellers. _Not very much_ , Chen thinks. At least there won't be too much to filter through.

The water in here is stagnant, and the taste is less saline than outdoors. It feels strange on his tongue and in his lungs, it will probably take some getting used to. He wonders how some people can come here day after day. The lighting in here is low, only a few lamps illuminate the dank, darkness in here. Chen wonders if maybe that's to give it a mysterious atmosphere. It's not working that well.

Starting from the top, he picks out one entitled, 'the science of air-walkers' with jade bindings at each end, and unrolls the scroll untill it almost reaches the floor. It hangs lifelessly in the dead water. Chen sinks to the floor to begin reading what seems to be a very boring and very biased account of how humans are unnatural because they don't need water to survive. Which Chen is sure is untrue anyway, what creature doesn't need water to survive? He tosses it aside and reaches for the next one. 

This one appears to be more useful. It explains that humans are creatures which populate the land, and a lot of the land. He keeps reading and reading until he's finished just under half of the first bookcase, a used pile of unwound books lying beside him. Most of the information in them is repeated, but something somewhere said that humans have a lot of different ways to speak.

That looks like yet another blockage on the way to befriending his human. Even if he learns human language, chances are it won't even be the right one. He wonders how many there truly are, and that thought ends up depressing him even more. He shakes his head, water rushing past his pointed ears and pushed on reading. 

He returns here every day, and learns more and more about humans. Why hadn't he come here before? Humans are such fascinating creatures, both their acheivements and failures are what makes them. They are a much more dynamic race than merfolk, who haven't changed their ways in a very long time, but they are also a lot less tolerant. They don't like things that don't fit in.

That means they wouldn't like Chen, and because of their cruel and violent base natures, they would try to kill him. This makes Chen sad, but it doesn't make his resolve to at least go see his human once again diminish. There are a lot of humans, after all, they can't all be hatched from the same batch of eggs. 

He reads until his eyes feel like they're as dry as the air and discovers that a daring young mermaid who lived in the southern part of the kingdom travelled all the way to a human trading centre, with human machines which towered over her and were as big as houses but still floated on top of the water. Chen wishes he could see this, but the most important thing she picked up on was some words she heard. 

Chen stares at them, memorising them. They look strange, and feel even stranger when he tries to say them out loud. They feel like they're all stuck together, and Chen doesn't have enough breath to finish the sentence. That's all that written on that particular book, so Chen moves on to the next one. This one isnt nearly so interesting, regurgitating the same 'beware' nonsense that most of the rest of them have.

He skims it anyway, in hope that there will be something new, but alas, no. Suddenly something cool touches his back, making him shreik, and he blows up, floating to the ceiling before getting himself under control. The hysterical laughter of one of his older brothers instantly puts him in a sour mood as he slowly falls until they're both at the same level again.

He glowers at his older brother Zhou Mi who is still having difficulty breathing, his gills flapping uselessly on his sides, and smacks him with a book. Zhou Mi fends him off, still chuckling,

"I'm sorry, _brawd lleiaf_ , I just couldn't resist," he apologises. 'Littlest brother' he called him. Chen rolls his shoulders back, and stares at his brother until he stops laughing. Then with a more serious face he says,

"I came to find out what you were doing. Usually by now you would be trying to sneak off but you're just holed up in here. If I know you at all, I would have said this is the last place my _brawd lleiaf_ would want to be." Chen feels slightly guilty. Maybe his family don't ignore him as much as he thinks they do. He looks to Zhou Mi's tail instead of his eyes. It's dark red and mottled with black, a strong fast swimming tail. Such a harsh contrast to Chen's floaty tail, which seems like it was made just for looking at.

"I''m researching," he admits grudgingly, gesturing to the mountain of read books slowly growing behind him. He's a bit surprised the librarian hasn't either told him off, or at least put them back. Zhou Mi nods, like he expected that answer but didn't want it to be true. 

"Look, I know you're obsessed with those air-dwellers, but it's dangerous. Mum and dad don't say it, but they do worry about you. You know the stories, there's a reason we stay away from them. They're dangerous!" He explains earnestly. Chen rolls his eyes.

"Of course I know the stories,  _brawd hŷn,_ I just don't believe everything I hear so easily!" He shouts, attracting attention from the few other merfolk in there, "I've seen one," he whispers more to himself than to his brother. Zhou Mi halts in his next accusation, whater he was about to say rendered null by Chen's words.

"You've seen one? A real life air-dweller?" He asks, sunlight pooling in his dark eyes. Chen is taken aback by his sudden interest, 

"Yes? The day I was punished," he replies. 

"That's why you were away so long?" His brother asks, genuinely curious. Chen debates over whether it's a good idea to tell his brother about this, but deciding that there coouldn't really be much harm in divulging such information, he nods.

"Did you speak to it?" Zhou Mu asks, trying but failing to keep his surprising level of interest under wraps, "was it really like the stories?" 

"No," he shakes his head imploringly, "it looked really sad, actually. It was all alone, not at all like the stories. And he did this noise, like- like a whale but smaller and musical. It was lovely," he drifts off for a moment, replaying that moment in his mind's eye. He needs to hear that sound again. Snapping back to reality, he looks his brother directly in the eye, "I don't know if I'll be able to talk to him, his voice is a lot different to ours."

"Can humans read?" Zhou Mi wonders, clearly contemplating something. Chen nods, although he's not entirely sure if it's true. Because if they speak differently than mefok, chances are they have different writing systems than them too. Chen wants to learn all about it, soak it up like a dry sponge until he knows everything about humans.

"Well if they can, then I can teach you some magic to help you communicate. It's a trick I've never had the oppurtunity to use but I think you have a good chance." 

Chen's heart sinks; magic has never been one of his strong points. It's another one of the reasons he's usually forgotten. Magic is used for nearly everything down here. If, suddenly, magic ceased to exist, their way of life would cease to exist also. The book Chen is holding right this very second was made using magic.

"I can't use magic,  _brawd hŷn_ , I'm no good at it," 

"You don't need to be. It's more of a trick than actualy magic. Here, let me show you," Zhou Mi links their arms, and pushes off of the floor with his tail, his athletic fins make him a faster and a cleaner swimmer than him so he has difficulty keeping up. Zhou Mi isn't even the fastest, Chen is just really slow. Chen realises quickly that they're heading in the direction of his brother's chambers. 

When they get there, Chen's brother gestures for him to wait where he is while he divests himself of his blade, which he is obligated to carry around as a Kingdom Warrior, then seats himself languidly over one of the two seats he has in here. Chen doesn't have seats in his room. He grouchily seats himself next to him, his tail trailing all over the floor and drifting in the gentle current.

"So are you ready to learn this trick?" Chen nods, hesitantly, "ok. You know seafoam?" Chen nods again, "well this trick gives you the ability to write words with the bubbles, so as long as your human can read, you'll be fine!" Zhou Mi announces. Chen agrees, it'd be a great idea if only he were actually able to manipulate magic well enough to do it.

Zhou Mi spends the next few hours showing Chen how to work the little magic he has to form shapes in bubbles. They start simple, with just a single, average sized one, then they gradually get more and more complex until Chen is making foam with his bare hands. He feels so accomplished with this mess of white that it disperses almost instantly. But he doesn't let it get him down! 

He just used magic! So used to not being able to even move a pebble with his magic, he's proud of himself for managing this feat.

They spend an indeterminate amount of time together, alone practicing. Zhou Mi is no doubt avoiding his duties, and Chen worriedly brings this up but Zhou Mi waves him away. When Chen is able to produce something that vaguely resembles a letter, Zhou Mi tells him to go practice in his own room, and to let him know how he gets on with his human.

He still has two weeks left of his confinement in which to perfect this, and also learn as much as he can about the human world. Maybe he'll write the words he learned from that book, the one about the mermaid who visited the port. He vows to one day speak to his human and persuade him to tell him _everything_.

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> biology lesson! in this au mermaids are like fish- they have a bladder of air which they can increase the volume of which keeps them aloft.


	3. Three

It's the last day of Chen's confinement, and he's itching to travel, to just go and not feel like he's caged up. At first, staying at home was interesting, but soon he'd run out of interesting books to read, and he'd had nothing to do except meander around the palace corridors and pester the serving staff. Most of them were fairly accomodating, even talking to him and letting him help, others, however, swam away at first sight.

He's expecting a message at some point today, providing his parents haven't forgotten, to convene with the king and queen about whether he has learned his lesson. He hasn't, of course, as he fully intends to go right back out to his human the moment the ban is lifted. He wans to put as much distance between him and the palace as possible, and of course he wants to see his human. He hopes it's still there, after all, humans don't always stay in the same place. Maybe it was just visiting the beach.

-

He's in his chambers, rereading one of his books for what feels like the hundredth time, just to be prepared, when a maid makes her presence known. Like most of their serving staff, she isn't really easy to miss, with pale white skin and scales, and thick fins. She looks a lot stronger than he does, probably used to pulling heavy loads around the castle,

"The king and queen wish to speak with you," she announces, in a surprisingy high pitched voice that doesn't match her appearance at all. 

"I understand," he says, making no move to get up and humourr their request, but inside he's elated. If he's right, this should be them saying he's finally free and allowed to roam unrestrained! The servant nods, and leaves swiftly, probably not wanting to be further involved with the youngest prince for any longer than she has too. He apparently has a reputation for being rash and irresponsible.

After carefully rolling up his book, he meanders down to the throne room, forcing himself to go slowly, otherwise he might come across to eager. He doesn't want his parents to think he'll go swimming off to the surface moments after they let him go. Even though that's what he fully intends to do.

Yixing is guarding the entrance today, along with another guard he's seen around but doesn't remember the name of. Long arms, perpetual frown, unusually short hair, even for a guard. Yixing nods to him, flicking Chen's tail with his own as he drifts by.

"Watch it," he says jokingly. Chen scowls at him mockingly, then passes through the glowing kelp curtains, ignoring the bewitching charm placed on them, and into the throne room, where his parents are seated, looking as imposing as ever. His mother beckons him closer, face stern and unyeilding. Just like always. 

"Do you understand the conditions of the release of this ban?" his father asks, making him jump and his tail jerk spasmodically for a split second. He nods slowly, hoping they just mean he knows not to run of without permission- which doesn't mean he won't do that anyway.

They share a look, obvously a meaningful one, which Chen is unable to decipher. He feels a nervous prickle run down his spine and taper off somewhere in the middle of his tail and he resists the urge to flick it. Don't they believe him? They'd be right, of course, but he'd thought he was a better liar than that. He fights to keep himself from doing anything that might rouse suspicion, like looking away, so he does his best to maintain eyecontact.

His mother, with her dark, dark skin and golden hair flowing out behind her looks even more authoritative than usual, and Chen doesn't understand why. His father, pale and mottled like him -it's obvious who he takes after, unfortunately- fades into the background, statuesque in comparison. 

Eyes smouldering with the embers of magic Chen didn't inherit, Chen finds this harder and harder as the moments go by. Waiting for them, either of them, to say something must be a form of torture in itself, he's sure. The silence is so stifling that he jumps when his mother breaks it.

"If we find that you have broken one of our rules, the consequences will be severe. No communication with surface dwellers, and be home before curfew. We will be monitoring you, do not forget. Do _not_ speak with the surface dwellers, it's dangerous,  _do you understand?"_

Chen feels compelled to nod, even if he doesn't intend on obeying her in the future, but right now he's shaking, scales quivering under her force. She leaves a moment for her message to sink in, then dismisses him. Chen leaves as quickly as he can, threats ringingin his ears, as he always does after speaking with his parents. It just isnt fair, he thinks, other families are more...they're _closer_. Maybe it's just becase of their status, but they've never really had the chance to act like a real family. Chen thinks that even his older, better brothers and sisters feel a bit like this, but at least they get attention for their talents. 

Talents Chen doesn't have. He bites his lip to repress the sadness welling up inside him. His one chance to do something, to shine maybe, and they don't think he's capable of doing that. He wants to go and find his brother, tell him the news, but he knows he'll just be busy training.

He decides he won't push his luck and scarper this evening, like he'd intended. He won't even go out tomorrow, although it will cause him extreme boredom. He will wait a few days, until his parents trust him a little more, even though it won't be them checking, it will be the guards reporting back to them. Maybe he'll just go for a short trip to the corals, since that's a short journey, so he doesn't go insane.

-

Two days later, Chen rests unwillingly in his bedchambers resenting the distance his room has to all of the others. It wasn't his decision to be put here, on the opposite side of the castle to where the rest of his family sleeps. He's found himelf wondering many a night if it was deliberate, that they foresaw he would amount to nothing and kept him away so his nothingness would seep into the rest of them.

Logically, he knows that's stupid, but he can't help feeling that way. He casts an ever more intricate shape of seafoam bubbles, and watches as it dissipates not a moment later. He hasn't figured out how to make them last longer, or even if there is a way to make them stay.

Yesterday, he'd spent sometime at the creek, admiring the underwater foliage. Most of it is pale and white, not like the surface, because there is so little light down here. 

Chen took great care while he was there to avoid the jellyfish, because even merfolk aren't strong enough to survive being ensnared by one of the monster jellies that float mindlessly along the soft underwater currents. Chen could argue that they're in fact more dangerous than humans, but he's never actually seen a jellyfish for real, since they're usually herded away from areas merfolk frequent. Using magic of course.

He gazes sulkily out of the window and wonders when it will be safe to finally leave. He hopes the human is still there, but he knows it's a long shot, since it's been nearly a moon and a half since he last saw it. 

A swish sound behind him alerts him to someone's presence, and he swirls in surprise: no one visits him at this time of day! That's mostly because he's not usually here, but even in recent weeks when it's been well known by everyone where he is he's had no one come to see him except the servants.

"Chen! _B_ _rawd hŷn,_ there you are! I was looking all through the gardens for you, and yet you're here." Chen relaxes quickly on seeing that it's just Zhoumi. He was just thinking about going to look for him so he could tell him of his news, but now he guesses he doesn't have to. 

"lts a pleasure to see you," Chen replies, only a little sardonically.

"Oh, don't give me that, " his brother scoffs, "I just heard about you being allowed to leave the palace, this is great news!" He enthuses, gliding closer and placing one glowingly pale palm his shoulder. 

"I know, I'm looking forward to having more... _freedom_ ," Chen smiles up at his brother, and they share a look, both understanding that by freedom he really means the chance to leave the palace and go far away. Perhaps one day he'll just go and never return. The only reason they kept him here was to make a point to the public that their prince is under control.

"So am I, Chen." He looks around the room, taking in the minimal decorations, probably the complete opposite to his own room on the other side of the palace, filled with intricate and delicate coral carvings and the like.

"I want you to bring me along with you on your trip to see this human again." His brother grins jubilantly, but Chen's two hearts drop, "for one thing I would like to see a real life surface dweller with my own eyes, and also I would love to see you using that spell I taught you." Zhou Mi looks on at his brother proudly, but Chen feels stifled. Would it be so much to ask for him to have one thing he can call his own? Just one way he can be different- dare he say it, _special?_ Obviously it would;

"I had, uh, intended on going back alone, actually," Chen starts, not exactly intending to hurt his brother's feelings, but it seems to happen anyway. The smile falls right off Zhou Mi's face, to be replaced by a confused and hurt expression that makes Chen feel a little guilty. But just a bit, he _really_ doesn't want to have to bring his brother along. Zhou Mi has tons of things he's better than Chen at, like magic and he swims so much faster and Chen has nothing. He just _is_.

"Why?" Zhou Mi asks, his muscular tail drooping, "I thought you would want me to go with you, we were _conspiring_ together." Chen winces, his reasons for wanting to be alone seem a little childish, but he can't back down now, and besides, his brother is acting like a petulant hatchling himself.

"I just want to go by myself, is that so much to ask?" Chen retorts, regretting instantly how snappy that sounded. Zhou Mi recoils in shock, 

"Why are you being so selfish?" 

"I'm not, I just want to have something to myself. I'm grateful for your help but I want to do this on my own, ok?" Chen tries to placate him but it's too late: his brother is already scowling at him,

" _What?_ No I'm pretty sure you're actually just an ungrateful brat. No wonder you don't have any royal responsibilities, you couldn't even cast a bubble spell without help, you're _useless_ ," Zhou Mi's lip curls up, "whatever, I should've known not to help you. Li Yin was right,"  he shakes his head and propels himself out of Chen's bedchambers faster than Chen can even blink.

Zhou Mi's remarks cut deep. So these are his brother's true colours, huh? Chen wants to cry, but he won't let it happen. He's not going to be weak.

 _Li Yin was right_. Does that mean his entire family thinks he's a failure? That hurts a lot more than Chen thought it would, even though he'd often had self pitying thoughts along the same lines, he'd never once _truly_ believed it. 

That settles it. He'll just have to leave sooner than planned, he doesn't want to run into any of his family in the near future and he doesn't trust Zhou Mi not to tell his parents, not after that. He tries to control his breathing, forcing his lungs to inhale even amounts of water, and devises a list of things he should bring, well aware that he doesn't have very much in the way of possessions, despite being royalty. He has plenty of beautiful clothes, but they aren't the kind you would want to take on a long journey, encrusted with tiny shining stones and pearls as they are. 

**_-_ **

Adjusting the small fabric pouch containing food slung across his back, and afixing his pearl tiara securely atop his head, Chen sneaks out of the palace boundaries as discreetly as possible. He thinks one of the guards may have seen him, but they didn't make any move to stop him, nor did they run off to sound the alarm so he assumes he's good to go. He starts out at a good pace, lacy tail trailing behind him far too frivolously for his taste.

The swim to the beach where the human was feels a lot longer than it did last time, Chen thinks. This could, of course, be attributed to how the last time he came here, he alllowed himself to be distracted by everything that he came across, and that made it feel both longer and shorter. Either that or his perception of time has been messed up while he was stuck within the palace walls.

He's tired well before the time the cliff face is in sight, and he blames being locked up so long for robbing him the oppurtunity to excersise. It's surprising how healthy you have to be to swim such long distances every day, especially in the short time it takes him to do so. The surface weather isn't so nice today, the clouds obscuring the usually vibrantly blue sky and making the earthen cliffs seem a little grey and drab. Even the trees surrounding the beach area look unhappy.

The closer Chen creeps towards the small dwelling by the ocean side, the more careful he makes sure all of his movements are. His scales grate against the wet rocks. While he still isn't sure his human is even there anymore, he doesn't want to accidentally make any noises as he slithers, serpentine, over rocks and through rock pools along the cliffside, apologising to the teeming wildlife he is surely disturbing as he does so.

He thinks it must still be early in the day, because there are more shadows than he remembers, and its also a lot colder. Based on what he read in the library, cold temperatures either means night time or winter, but since it is only just nearing autumn, according to lunar records, he concludes that it can only be night time.

His heart is beating irregularly out of excitement. He's breaking the rules, he's so far away from home, and he's going to see his human again. Oh, how he hopes he is still here, he'll be so disappointed if he isn't. While he waits for the sun to rise, he plays with a happy little crab, teasing her by putting his little finger between her claws then yanking it out before she has time to close them.

Every so often, he peeks over the rocks to see the shabby little hut, a ways down the beach. It hasn't changed much since he last saw it, if at all. The roof still looks like its going to fall in at a moment's notice and there's mossy patches plaguing the walls. The cloud coverage gradually clears and Chen's tail begins to ache, not being suspended in water its pretty heavy and kind of useless on land. Also the rocks are digging into him everywhere. He should have thought this through more, he thinks, scooping up water with his hands and pouring it over his skin so he feels more comfortable, and dunking his head under the surface of the shallow water every so often to breathe. 

He stops to eat something from his bag, a salty preserved meal, designed to last a long time before becoming inedible.

He's beginning to get bored, and would be well on his way to falling asleep if it weren't for the painful sharp edges pressing into his bare skin, when a light comes on from within the shack, casting faint square shaped pools of light on the sand outside. Chen perks up immediately, pulling himself as close to the edge of the rock pool as he dares to get a better view of what's going on. 

Not much happens for a while, but Chen can hear barely audible noises emanating from within, so Chen is elated. He's still here. The _kerchunk_ sound of the human opening the door makes him jump, and makes him realise just how intently focused he was on the goings on inside. The human is dressed similarly to before, with garment Chen learned recently are called _pantaloons_ , but he doesn't think the _shoes_ look quite right, not compared to the drawings in his books. 

It steps outside, feet slipping on the wet sand, then starts walking. To Chen's dismay, he realises he's wakling in his direction, so he hunkers down and hopes that he won't find him. He stops a short distance away, lays down the sheet of fabric and site on it. Once Chen has recovered from his near discovery, and the panic is starting to die down, it dawns on him that this is perfect: the human doesn't look like he's going to move anytime soon, and he's close to both him and the ocean. He can try making contact with him from here.

This is his chance!

But it's different like this, compared to in his bed chambers, because for one thing his bed chambers are completely submerged, and also because of the change in distance. Creating a mass of frothy bubbles is easy when it's just a few inches away from his hands, but considerably harder when its the length of his own body twice over away. He curses, why didn't he think about this before he got here? What, did he think he was just going to flounder along the shoreline and expect to stay hidden?

He's not sure if he can do it from this far, but he is damn well going to try anyway. He didn't come all this way just to stare- he's going to make contact somehow. It's a strain, pulling on nature in this way, but somehow he manages to force his will upon the ocean and, with some difficulty, creates a word that hopefully this human can read. It's a greeting, as far as he knows, and its made up of a combination of small lines interlocking with each other. Very logical, completely unlike his own language, comprised of sweeping circular motions and rounded edges.

The human stares at his creation for a moment, then rubs at his eyes furiously, hissing some nasty sounding syllables to himself, and then shaking his head. Chen thinks that maybe this hasn't gotten through to him. He should try something else, something longer that definietly won't be mistaken for anything else. There's another phrase he knows, which he thinks is also a greeting, but more formal. An inquiry to one's wellbeing, he believes. This takes considerably more effort to pull off; it feels like the water is positively fighting against him, but after what feels like a monumental struggle, he prevails, the individual characters surfacing just along the line of the shore.

The human makes a distressed noise, and buries his face in his palms, rapidly spitting out words Chen doesn't understand. Maybe this was a mistake, humans are clearly fragile, maybe he should just leave it alone. 

He hunkers down, in an even more uncomfortable position than before, so as not to be seen so easily in case the human looks in his direction. The rocks are really beggining to hurt, cutting into even his tough skin, and he's sure he'll have scratch marks across his stomach that will last for days, but he can't move unless he's willing to risk attention.

He wants to try the bubble spell again, partly to prove to his brother, despite his absence, that he isn't useless and partly to prove the same thing to himself, but he doesnt want to blow this oppurtunity. From what he can tell, this creature is pretty easily upset and startled, if he does it again, he might cause it to do something dangerous. Chen doesn't know _what_ , but he knows it would not be a good thing, were it to happen. So he remains still, battling the sharp cutting in his abdomen and not making any noise. It's a lot less fun now, earlier on he'd been excited but in a good way, now he's just a little scared. And bored at the same time, which makes for an interesting combination, but somehow it is possible.

The crab disappeared a long while ago, so he has no entertainment exept for listening to the tiny waves crash against the rocks and hiss as they retreat back into themselves. The ocean always seems to be more restless at the edges; at the deepest parts she seems almost lethargic in her stillness. The pain is almost numb by the time the human retreats back into his cabin, picking up the fabric and shaking it free of most of the sand before he leaves. Chen is both relieved, and sad to see him go.

But now that he's gone, Chen can get away. He's probably been here too long already, and when he gets back he'll be punished so hard he most likely won't be allowed to leave tha palace ever again, but it was worth it, Chen thinks. He'll always remember the humans face: similar in structure to anyone of his own race, but lacking in any kind of markings. His face is purely one colour and he's never seen anything like it before. His own face is pale too, but mottled with darker patches. Chen wonders if it's normal for humans to be this plain-skinned. Then there's his hair, or at least he thinks it's hair; Chen has never seen hair dry before, so it looks like more of a dying anenome to him, but that rich blackness is captivating. Would it come alive with the help of water? Or would it stay the same way it is now, rigidly stuck to it's head?

And those _eyes_ , dark, _so_ dark, and deep. Such a dark brown they're almost black, and so full of soul. Chen's own are ringed with a murky green colour. The height of beauty under the water is inky black hair, dark contrasting skin markings and lustrous scales in vibrant colours, and this goes for everyone. This creature before him would be so beautifully exotic- he has legs! They're not huge, but he can see strong looking muscles underneath the pale flesh. How does he swim without a tail?

He digresses, he needs to get out of here. He twists around, gasping in pain when more sharp rocks gauge into his side, attempting to get out of this rock pool and see how bad his wounds are. In fact, he needs to get himself fully submerges soon as possible, he can feel the fin on his back drying out already. While he'd been watching the human he'd neglected to douse himself in water to stave the dry air off. 

He wriggles his way slowly and cautiously back the way he came, making as little sound as possible so as not to attract any human attention. This doesn't stop the scraping noise his tail makes, but he doesn't think he can do much about that, and now that the human is definietly awake, he moves in short bursts, checking over his shoulder after every jerk just to make sure.

It's harder work than he'd thought, dragging himself to the lip of the rock without suffocating or making any noise, but he manages, eventually. Preparing a defensive speech to give to his parents, about how he didn't provoke the human, and it's harmless, and everything will is fine.

But the water isn't there.

He blinks, and looks again. No, that's definitely just sand. The shoreline has retreated back into herself. Chen will never be able to crawl all the way over there without being spotted, this is a disaster! His stomach burns with the pain of hundreds of tiny cuts, and he's finding it harder and harder to breathe. He's going to die here, his parents were right everyone was right about him and no one will miss him. They'll all be glad to see him gone, won't they?

In his panic, it doesn't occur to him to simpy wait quietly until the tide comes back in, and despite the stinging burn it causes all over his torso, he begins to thrash around in abject frustration. He freezes, face below the water, the only movement is his heavy breathing. Without really thinking, he lets out an angry cry, but cuts it short the very instant he remebers that that's a _terrible idea._

The panic returns once again as he stills completely, this time not even daring to breathe. Is this it? Is this the end? The human is going to find him and then what? Chen hears the door to the shack open and close, then a timid, questioning call and he shuts his eyes tight, praying that it won't find him. Soft sounds of sands under protected feet draw nearer, though Chen can barely hear them over the sound of his blood rushing through his system. 

Theres another softly spoken sentence, a question hanging in the air. He shifts minutely, and his delicate tail flops wetly to the side. Chen lists all of the bad words he knows and repeats them inside his head over and over with vehemence. Why is he so _stupid_? He's not ready for this yet, he hadn't wanted to make contact for another few days yet, weeks even. Maybe he would never have revealed himself at all, but if he did he wanted it to be on his terms. Now there't no choice in the matter, and whatever happens-

"Hello?" 

 


	4. Four

"Hello?"

The voice is soft and lyrical but Chen doesn't really have the presence of mind to appreciate it at the moment, what with the blinding panic consuming his faculties and the burning pain radiating through his body.

His eyes are screwed tightly shut, so he doesn't see the look of shock on the human's face on discovering him, but he does hear the upset gasp it releases. He curls into himself, still blind to the world, not caring about making noise now that he's been seen. 

Full of words and sounds Chen doesn't understand, the dark haired creature looming above him shouts in a frenzy, and terrified for his life, Chen is is ashamed to admit he begins to cry. A high, gurgling, warbling tone leaks from his throat and the yelling now emanating from somewhere to his left stops abruptly. He can't believe he's sunk so low, beached and crying in front of a human. His mother would surely be laughing at him right now if she knew. Hell, his _whole family_ would.

The human babbles, now at a pitch more tolerable for Chen's sensitive ears, but the words are coming out at a mile a minute, and they all flow into one another- Chen couldn't tell where one starts and the next begins even if he _were_ able to concentrate on them. A light, dry pressure drags on his shoulder, meaning that the human has gotten too close. In order to protect himself- who knows what this human is doing? It might be safe from a distance, but not _this_ close- Chen thrashes violently, moving back away from it.

Panting heavily, his entire being shuddering at the stress, he tries to still himself. He keeps his eyes closed, like a child, trying to pretend that this isn't happenning, that this isn't real. But being blind to the world isn't a good thing when you're in danger, so he forces himself to look up at his would-be assailant. Who is seated on rock close enough for him to touch. But he's looking out to sea, with his eyebrows hanging low over his eyes. He doesn't _look_ like a threat.

Chen waits a little longer, until his hands have stopped trembling, and his heart beats are only a little faster than normal, before unfurling himself and draping his limp tail fins over the rocks behind him. His cuts all still sting and itch all over his front, He hopes he won't get any infections, because he can hardly go home and explain what's happened, and he's not sure if human's have medicine as advanced as merfolk, let alone whether it would work on sea dwellers.

Breathing normally now, or at least as normally as he can with his gills only half submerged in the shallow water, Chen focuses his hearing on the sound of the ocean. Even though it's so far away from him, he can still feel it's calming presence. He looks up subtly at the human, trying to move as little as possible while doing it. He really doesn't look the least bit dangerous: he hasn't got claws, large teeth, he doesn't even look heavy.

He desperately wants to say hello. 

But the longer he waits, trying to work out the best way to actually go about doing that, the more he feels like he can't do it. Instead, he stares bashfully at the human's side profile, noting the way it's nose is like a straight line, and how the soft sunlight gleams in his eyes, framed with small black lashes. As if noticing him staring, it turns around, and Chen looks away instantly, feeling a jolt of fear once more, that he knows now is probably irrational. But when facing the unknown, it is probably better to be safe than sorry.

The human speaks again, prompting Chen to look sharply in it's direction, but no matter how slowly he speaks, all Chen can do is stare at the human blanky. The human bites it's pink lips, then heaving a sigh, stands up precariously on the wet rocks. It points at him, then makes a scooping motion, then points at the ocean. It has to repeat this a few times before Chen understands that it means to carry him back to the sea.

He doesn't know how to react. He knows he _needs_ to get back to the ocean, as he's already having difficulty breathing again, but he doesn't know whether doing what this creature wants is a very good idea. For all Chen knows, he wants to eat him. To strip him of his scales and tail and tiara and sell them off.

And he doesn't want to go back home either. He's had enough of skulking around there and having to live in the huge shadows of his entire family. He'll just stay here forever, until the rest of his days. The human sits down, and watches him, contemplatively. Chen stares right back, resisting the urge to hide himself away. Should he trust it? Even at the risk of being eaten? He ducks down into the water and inhales deeply of the water rippling in the rock pool, then props himself up, so he's as close to upright as possible. Then he points to himself, and says, slowly and clearly,

"Chen." He waits expectantly for the human to do something, maybe introduce himself too, but he doesn't do anything. Just blinks in that strange monolidded way at him. He looks so _dry,_  it's baffling.

"Chen?" It repeats, softly. It has an accent; he doesn't say it quite like he does, but it's close enough. He grins widely, his tail jerking in happiness. He points at the human politely, his hand upturned. The human's head tilts backwards, and his eyes widen a little. Maybe he's confused. Hm, humans are slower than he expected them to be. He repeats his name, then points to the human again. This time it seems to comprehend. It places it's too-dry hand on it's chest,

"Suho," it proclaims, it's voice like nothing Chen has ever heard before. He mimics the sounds, and Suho beams at him, its flat pearly teeth glinting in the light of the early setting sun. After that heartwarming introduction, there's a brief lull, when they've both run out of things to say, then the human- Suho- is gesturing again. But this time each action is punctuated by a word, and one of them is his name.

He's still hesitant about this idea, but he eventually concludes that having Suho carry him to the water's edge can't be worse than waiting here to suffocate. He slowly carefully drags himself closer to the human, hissing as the rocks continue to gouge into his skin, then looks up at Suho, waiting for him to do something. 

Suho's hands reach out and flutter uselessly over Chen's form, unsure of where he's allowed touch him, so Chen scoots a little closer and sits up more. When Suho gasps, and gapes at him in shock, he realises that this move has revealed his injuries, and that's what Suho is upset about. He growls as a warning, or tries to, since it comes out more of a whine, and this spurs Suho into action.

He takes a firm hold of one of Chen's arms, and slowly pulls him upwards, then like a sailfish, his arm darts around his shoulders and holds him upright so he stands almost as tall as the human. Chen clings onto Suho desperately, afraid of falling. This was such a bad idea, out of water he's so heavy, and Suho's impossibly parched skin can't possibly be able to grip him, can it?

Suddenly, making Chen cry out in fear of being dropped, Suho dips forward and hooks his other arm underneath Chen's tail, then yanks him upwards so he's lyings across Suho's outsretched arms, and clutching onto Suho's garments, leaving darkened wet patches on them. The fabric seems to suck all sense of moisture from him, and he doesn't like it, so instead he wraps one arm around the back of Suho's neck, collaterally coming into contact with Suho's hair, not nearly as rough as he'd expected it to be. In fact, he'd even go as far as to say it feels like the embodiment of water, you know, if water wasn't wet.

The human wobbles dangerously over the uneven rocks, and Chen closes his eyes tightly, grimacing as his entire body is swayed around as though he's in a whirlpool. When they reach the sand, he feels a lot safer, the swaying is reduced to a comforting and lulling minimum and the soft _kush kush_ sound of the sand beneath Suho's feet is a new melody to him, one he won't forget. He wants to remember everything about this human, this 'Suho'.

He murmurs words to him, words that Chen doesn't know, but understands somehow. He understands that Suho is comforting him, in his lullaby voice, so unlike anything he's ever encountered before below the the sea. 

Splashes of water below alert him to having reached the shore.

He wills the ride to last longer, but grieviously, all things must come to an end. That being said, he prolongs the amount of time he has until Suho lets go of him, by acting like he's afraid of the drop. Really, he isn't even lying, he doesn't want to fall that far through the air, but mostly it's just a trick to get this to last longer. That's why he's so surprised when Suho drops carefully to his knees so they're both half submerged in the salty water, and ever so gently releases him. He doesn't think anyone has treated him so sweetly since he was a newly hatched larvae. A warm rush invades his chest as Suho's compassionate fingertips slip away from him, catching on his scales.

More than not wanting to go back home, he doesn't want the human to leave.

As Suho's legs extend, ready to leave, he realises he needs to do something if he doesn't want this oppurtunity to escape from him. He rolls onto his front in the water, still shallow enough for him to prop himself up so his face is above the surface of the water. Beginning to panic again, though this time for a different reason. He wants to reach out and grab him, but what if that makes him angry?

"Suho!" He cries out, hoping this will make him stay. To his astonished delight, Suho stills and tilts his head- a gesture that Chen is sure is meant to be questioning. Wracking his brain for something, anything he could do or say, he recalls the small amounts of human language he learned from the books in the palace library. He does his best to remember one of the more basic phrases, and hopes he doesn't mess it up,

"You are well met, Master Suho," he says, taking great are over the his mouth shapes the foreign words, then looks up at the human anticipating his response. He didn't know what he expected, maybe a bow or something, but it certainly wasn't laughter. Chen's hearts sink; did he say it wrong? Was he inappropriate? He sinks slowly under the water, leaving only his eyes visible, and his hair floating wispily around his head.

"And you, Master Chen," When Suho smiles this time Chen feels surrounded by thousands of buoyant bubbles, like he's soaring through the sunlit sky. 

"Prince. I am Prince Chen," He corrects happly, pointing to his tiara, eager for more contact with this human, and as of yet unware of the difference between their worlds. For Chen, prince doesn't mean all that much, since there are so many princes in his family. But judging by the way Suho recoils as if stung, it must mean something else. He hurries to clarify, "Lots prince, I am _small_ prince! Baby!" 

Suho says something to fast for Chen to catch, but it sounds like an exclamation of some kind. He cringes back into the water in case he's angry, but Suho quickly assures him that he's not by waving one hand and shaking his head. 

"Mermaid Prince, huh?" Suho sighs, ruffling his hair, "or should I say mer _man_?" 

"Man." Chen agrees. He flicks his tail. "Home?" He asks, knowing his grasp of Suho's language is extremely poor, but mostly just glad that at last, they're truly communicating with one another. Suho turns around to see what he's pointing at, then nods. 

"Yes, that's my home. It's a bit drafty in the winter, but it's home." 

"Cold?" 

"Yes, cold," Suho nods. Chen grins, pleased at his ability to interpret the human's words. Well maybe not all of them, but he knew _winter_ , so he just guessed. This sets the framework for most of their conversation, with Suho saying something, then Chen saying one word that could sum it up. Or not. At some point, Suho ends up sat in the water, and has tried on Chen's tiara. It looks better on Suho, he thinks, even though his skin is so starkly blank.

There's been a lull in the conversation for a while now, and in that time Chen has noticed that the sun has now completely set, and the sky is a tenebrous collection of blues and purples seeping over the horizon, and if he looks in the other direction, he can see the stars begining to speckle the sky. He looks to Suho to ask what they are called in his language, but the human has his eyes shut, and his head is lolling to the side. 

Scared, Chen nudges his side, then that failing, shakes his shoulder, and Suho wakes up with a jolt, splashing water into Chen's face.

"Sorry, Chen." He looks around, and sighs, "It's late, and I need to go home," Suho explains, getting up slowly and dripping all over the merman. Chen reaches out impulsively and grabs his shorts- another new word he learned today.

"Tomorrow?" He asks, eyes wide and imploring. 

"Of course," Suho grins.

-

Chen finds a collection of seaweed to sleep on that night. Not nearly as comfortable as his bed in his chambers, but he supposes that's what he gets for running away from home. It somehow feels colder here, but when he thinks of Suho, and how magical this day has been, he doesn't regret it at all. 

-

The sunlight wakes him, and he opens his eyes to see beams of light filtering through the water, distorting and shivering with the tide. He thinks he's going to like it here.

He swims to the surface and looks to shore to see if Suho is awake, thinking that if he isn't, he'll just wait a bit longer. But he's in luck, because there he is- a blue and brown smudge in the distance. Laughing with abandon, he propels himself forward as fast as he can, and calls out his name. Suho's smile is worth a thousand punishments that he might receive if his parents find him.

"Suho! Good dawning to thee!" He proclaims, feeling a little embarrassed when Suho shakes his head and laughs at him. He's spent a long time practicing that phrase, did he not say it right?

"Oh, don't look at me like that." Suho protests, "Where did you learn that anyway?" Chen looks at him blankly, not having understood. Suho licks his lips, and looks up at the sky, "umm...old words?" He tries, "Say, 'good morning'"

"Good morning." 

"Yes!" 

"Good morning!" Chen repeats again, just to make sure. Suho smiles at him, so wide that his eyes disappear.

They spend a good deal of that day talking, and learning both about each other and how best to communicate. Gestures seem to what they fall back on most of the time, but it doesn't matter; Chen is having the time of his life here. About midday, Suho's stomach growls, causing Chen to erupt in giggles.

"Food, Suho? I get fish?" He offers, splashing his tail around in the water to emphasise his speed. But Suho politely declines.

"No thanks, Chen. I have food at home."

Chen spends a long time trying out all kinds of human food, and when Suho explains that this is only a little, and that there are many more different types, Chen is astonished. In his kingdom, even in the palace, there is only a certain number of ways food can be prepared. This includes different types of cutting and and mashing, and if you have the ability (and Chen's family, of course, do) to create a plumbing system that reroutes boiling water from underground, then boiled fish too. But these foods, to him, are special. Even if Suho says bread is common, and that rice is something _everyone_ has, he just can't see that.

Come night time, Chen bids Suho goodbye again, _properly_ after he is taught how to, and sleeps on the seaweed again. He thinks it's getting more comfortable, or maybe he's getting more used to it.

Two days later, Chen is left alone for the day as Suho needs to go shopping for food. He'd spent ages trying to explain about currency and inflation and even consumerism but all Chen had understood was the food part. So he'd left it as that and headed off on the hour walk to the other side of the island to the tiny street with the only three shops on. 

Chen spends his time alone- his first time _truly_ alone- exploring the waters around the cliff face, and meets a lot of crabs and is attacked by a seagull that didn't like him very much for some reason.

By the end of the fourth day, Chen is speaking in awkward but full sentences, and even Suho seems impressed by how quickly he's improved. They pass the hours singing to one another, each of them marvelling at how beautiful the other's voice is.

On the fifth day, Suho is exasperated, because he is _always_ asking him questions. And then when he tries to answer them, he interrupts with another question. It's exhausting, and it reminds him of having to look after his little cousin. When he says this, Chen demands to know more about him.

"His name is Joonyoung. Last time I saw him, he was three years old, but he's five now, I think"

"Only one?" Chen inquires, shocked. He has almost forty brothers, and just over thirty sisters. How can he only have one?

"Yes, just him,"

"Oh, Do like him?" 

"Yes, he's very sweet," 

"You eat?" Chen squawks, outraged,

"No! No, sweet can be how someone is, too, like 'nice'," he laughs at Chen's misunderstanding. 

"Oh. You are sweet, Suho," Chen nods, "very sweet." He's sure sure there must be better words to describe Suho, but he doesn't know them. This will have to do for now. Suho covers his mouth with his hand, laughing,

"I wouldn't go that far," he trails off blushing. Chen is sure now more than ever that Suho is _definitely_ sweet. 

"Suho is certain sweet," he asserts, patting Suho's leg, causing the poor human to erupt in red. He supposes this is what he gets for avoiding the rest of the human race as much as possible. He loses the ability to take compliments and just generally function.

Talking about Suho's family makes Chen remember his own. The way Suho described his little brother, with such tenderness that Chen could see him remembering the young child in his mind's eye, they must be close. Chen finds himself envying their relationship, and not just because all of his family ignore him. He's jealous of a person that can be held with such regard in Suho's eyes, and hopes that one day if someone were to ask Suho about him (not that anyone ever would) then he'd make a face like that too.

"My family are not sweet," he sighs, unable to convey all that to Suho- not yet anyway. Suho's nostalgic face disappears, instantly replaced by concered confusion, so he clarifies, "they don't like me. I am small and not good. No, ahh, job?" 

Suho frowns, and reaches out to lightly touch Chen's hair, an act of affection that he finds both shocking and endearing. He was raised sparingly, as merfolk larvae are expected to be relatively self-sufficient as soon as they can find their own food (not that they need to, living in a palace), so physical affection is extremely rare among their kind. Chen is startled, and jerks back involuntarily, but leans back into the touch.

"Why are you here, and not at home? At the palace?" Suho asks softly, stroking Chen's slick hair, as if transfixed. Chen feels strange, drowsy, all of a sudden, but content at the same time. Is it because Suho is petting him? Suho has to ask him again, before Chen responds,

"Came away. Wanted me...to stay in palace always, but I want sea. I want to see human-you!" Chen shoots out of the water to emphasise his excitement, getting Suho's clothes wet. Suho frowns at him, but Chen can tell he isn't really angry with him. He likes that they've come this far in their friendship after only a few days. At least, he thinks they've come far. He doesn't really have anything to compare this to, not having had real friends before. Or knowing whether touching other people's hair is normal for humans.

"You know, I have a confession to make," Suho says, looking out to the horizon. It makes for a nice picture, with him sat up in a rock a little way out to sea, one leg hugged to his chest, and the other with his toes touching the saline water. His fluidly dry hair dances in the sea breeze, and he sighs.

"What?" Chen tries to coax Suho into talking, because while he doesn't exactly know what a confession is, it looks serious. 

"My name isn't Suho, really," he murmurs, turning his face away from Chen, so all he can see is his ear, and retracting his hand. 

"I dont understand," Chen brushes Suho's bare shin with the back of his fingers. Suho has more hair on his legs, but this hair isn't like the hair on his head, this is wispy and curly.

"I told you my name was Suho because, well, I wanted to sound cool? But now I've realised that it wouldn't have mattered to you in the first place, and I should have just introduced myself to you as Joonmyeon because that's my real name. But then I thought, _oh, but he's gotten used to calling me Suho now_ , and I didn't want to confuse you and mess everything up for you, so I just kept quiet, but now you know about my little brother." He takes a deep breath, and looks Chen in the eyes, the intensity making Chen reel back in shock, "Did you know in my home country its a tradition to name children of the same sex with the same first syllable?"

Chen doesn't say anything. For a moment all he does is stare. Did he catch that right? He missed a good deal of what Suho- is it Suho?- just said because he was going way too fast for him to be able to keep up, but the one thing he's pretty sure he heard was,

"Not...Suho?" 

"No, not Suho. I-" he shakes his head. Chen still doesn't understand what just happened, is baffled by Suho's distress, "I'm Joonmyeon," Su-Joonmyeon says.

"Joonmyeon," Chen repeats, trying to get a feel of the new name. It's certainly different to Suho. He can't decide if he like this name better, or not. 

"So my name is Joonmyeon, and my little brother is called Joonyoung. They both have Joon at the begninning." Chen nods, but still feels like he's missing out on something. Joonmyeon smiles, and speaks slowly, "It's traditional to give siblings- brothers and sisters- of the same sex names with the same begninning. Like me and my brother,"

Chen lights up with understanding,

"Oh! I get!" 

"Good," Joonmyeon reaches back out to continue stroking Chen's hair. "Come to think of it, where does your name come from?"

"The sea?" Chen laughs, acting like its a silly question. Joonmyeon snorts, kicking him playfully. 

"No, I mean, what does your name mean?"

"Oh. Um." Chen thinks hard. He knows his name does have a meaning, but he doesn't know how to explain it. Especially not in Joonmyeon's language. "It is like. It makes a nice sounds like _clong_ ," he swings his hand backand forth, trying to demonstrate what he means. Joomyeon looks baffled for a moment, then,

"Oh you mean a _bell_ ,"  

"Bell?" Chen affirms, shrugging. He wouldnt know either way. "A big bell,"

"Your name means bell. Huh. In my home country that would be _Jongdae_ , I think. It's interesting how thing have similar origins, huh?" Joonmyeon lets his feet dangle in the water again, and Chen dips his head under the water. Jongdae? He has a human name! Granted, the only person who will ever know this is Joonmyeon, but that doesn't matter. 

The younger merfolk, ones he used to see playing in the trenches near the palace, they always used to call each other by nicknames. He's never had someone to give him a nickname.

He surges upwards as far as he can given the shallow water, and catapults himself onto the rock next to Joonmyeon, allowing his tail to drape lazily over his new friend.

"Jongdae. Call me Jongdae," 

-

On the eighth day he wakes up and he can feel instantly that there is something wrong. It's far too quiet. Normally there's some kind of sound from neighbouring shoals of fish, and colourful yet gradual movement from the coral, but now there's nothing. No fish, no crabs, and even the corals have retreated into themselves. What could be wrong?

The only thing he can see moving is the sunlight, rippling in diamond shaped lines on the seafloor, and three tiny black dots in the distance. _Wait_. He focuses more closely on the three dots. They don't look like anything he's seen around here before. They're getting bigger in fact. Even though the particles floating in the water obstuct his vision, it's quite obvious that these things, creatures, are moving _fast_.

He squints, trying to get a better view, still wondering why the crabs are gone. He waits a few seconds for the high speed creatures to come into sight then wishes he hadn't.

These things shouldn't be anywhere near here! He moves as fast as his tail can take him to the shore, and claws his way onto the sand,

"Joonmyeon!" He cries out, desperation colouring his voice a hopeless grey tone, "Joonmyeon! Help!" He flails, the sand is too sodden for him to get a grip onto, and every time he tries to dig his fingers into it, he just comes away with handfuls of it.

The door to the little shack opens, and Joonmyeon leans out, looking exhausted but worried. Chen cries out again, reaching for his friend. Joonmyeon comes running, no longer caring that he's almost naked. Chen is almost crying, frantically trying to beach himself to get away from the creatures chasing him.

Joonmyeon is quick to scoop Chen up, the same way he had when taking him back to the sea, the first day they met. He jogs carefully back to his home and does his best not to drop him. Chen winds his arms around Joonmyeon's neck, so he doesn't fall, and holds on tight. He doesn't want to admit that he was scared, but he's pretty sure it's obvious anyway, by the way his sharp nails are digging into Joonmyeon's bare skin.

Chen hadn't even realised he'd shut his eyes until he's being lowered down onto something. He clings tighter for a second, but then relaxes when Joonmyeon croons at him reassuringly.

"Jongdae, what's going on?" He demands, but gently. Sweetly. That's just the way Joonmyeon is, Chen thinks, can't do anything without it being sweet, or kind, or just...nice. Which is definitely not a bad thing, of course.

"It's my mother. Sh-e- she, she- " Jongdae clams up, shaking his head. 

"Hey, hey now. You're safe here," _for a little while anyway, before you suffocate,_ Joonmyeon neglects to add. Maybe he should go and get some salt water so he can breathe or something- he doesn't know how this stuff works exactly.

"My mother. She sent-" Chen curses in his native tongue. It's so frustrating, not being able to communicate properly, especially at times of need, "big fish. They eat meat, very sharp-" he points to his teeth, which are also very sharp, "and strong, strong-" he waves his hand in front of his nose,

"Smell?" Joonmyeon suggests. Chen shrugs, starting to calm down again now. "It sounds like you're describing a shark," Joonmyeon frowns. Sharks? His mother sent sharks after her own son? That does _not_ sound like good parenting.

Now that he's safe, or at least as safe as he can be, taking into consideration that he is literally a fish out of water, Chen has a look around Joonmyeon's house. It really isn't very big. His bedchambers could probably only just encompass the whole building, but it seems smaller because it's filled with so much, well, stuff. There are clothes all over the floor, and on the bed too, and photos plastered on every spare bit of wall. There's a basin in one corner, and a small contraption next to it, which has pipes leading into the wall, and beside that there is a puzzling white box, about half his size. A cupboard above that is probably where Joonmyeon keeps his food, he thinks.

He looks beneath him, and sees a small shabby seat, with interesting knotted fabrics layered over it. There are darker patches where he's touched it.

There's a tickling in his throat that builds up to a slightly painful pressure that Chen recognises as not being able to breathe. His breaths become shallow, and he attempts to attract the attention of Joonmyeon, who is now wearing a shirt and messing around with the small contraption on the floor. He turns around and widens his eyes comically when he sees Chen struggling to breathe.

He drops everything in his hands and scrambles over the mess to the front door, and yanks it open,

"I'll be right back, keep breathing!" He urges. Chen nods, and screws his eyes shut. He trusts Joonmyeon, he really does. But he'd certainly like it if he hurried up with doing whatever it is he's doing. 

This really hurts now. It feels like the burning sun is sinking into his chest and shrinking it into nothing. 

He can't breath without water, why did he nod when Joonmyeon told him to keep breathing? His head hurts.

The door slams open and Joonmyeon all but falls inside, weilding two buckets with sea water spilling over the edges. Red faced and short of breath, Joonmyeon wheezes in the genereal direction of the buckets and mimes throwing it over him. Chen nods madly.

He doesn't throw it all on him in one go, he pours it over him steadily, so he actually gets the chance to breathe it in. The relief is like crystal, clear and vivid. He gulps in the blessed oxygen and feels like crying for some reason. 

Chen runs his fingers through his dampened hair, and realises with a sickening jolt that he left his tiara behind! It's still lying amongst the corals near where he sleeps. Or, if he's being realistic, it's probably in one of the shark's mouths.

"Jongdae? What's going on? Can you tell me why you needed to get out of the water?" Joonmyeon sits on the bed, whatever it's made of looks springy and makes him bounce a few times before settling. Chen grimaces, baring his pointy teeth.

"I need to hide. My mother not let me go outside the palace. I went. She wants me back so she can punish me for- for" he waves his hand,

"...Disobeying? I see. Hmm. She sounds very scary."

"She is. She can do things, special things. Powerful?" Chen explains. Joonmyeon hums thoughtfully, that delightful breathy whale sound that he adores. 

They both sit in amicable silence, with Joonmeon tipping water over him every so often. He goes to refill the buckets once, before they run out of water, even though the floor of Suho's home is now drenched, and it will probably take a long time to dry out. Chen points to the pictures on the wall, asking about them. Joonmyeon points out his family and friends that he left behind when in another country far away called Korea. Chen doesn't understand how they look so realistic, not having encountered cameras before.

Once all of the photos have been gone through, and all of his family named, Joonmyeon pokes Chen's tail curiously, running the pads of his fingers downwards over the irridescent scales, so they follow the sloping and don't get caught against the overlaps. He drags his fingers all the way down to the bottom, and trails through the soft part of his tail at the end, like transluscent layers of skin. Chen squirms,

"Are you ticklish?" Joonmyeon asks with glee, touching his tail again and watching in amazement as he curls away from him, giggling. What is this feeling? No one has eveer touched him there before, is it supposed to feel like that? Joonmyeon does it again and he laughs out loud, almost rolling himself out of the chair and having to cling on the the arm rests.

"No, Joomnyeon! Stop it!" He cries through uncontrollable laughter, "Stop!" He accidentally slaps Joonmyeon in the face, his soggy tailfins make a nice sound as Joonmyeon splutters and recoils. Now Chen is laughing for real. Joonmyeon swipes at him, laughing too.

An abrupt cold child washes over him, making his mirth stop short. He knows this feeling, knows it well, but it can't be. She wouldn't come all the way out here just for him, would she? Surely not? Creeping tendrils of fear trickle down his dorsal fin, and he shivers,

"My mother. She is coming for me," Joonmyeon pales. He does that when he's worried, Chen has noticed. And when he's embarrassed he turns red. These humans are delightful creatures.

"That's a bad thing, right?" 

"Very bad,"

Chen can feel both his hearts pounding in tandem, loudly, so loudly he wonders if Joonmyeon can hear them. His breathing becomes shallow again, so Joonmyeon takes the hint and gets up to pour water on him again, being extra quiet and careful. Once that's done, he sits back down, not even letting the bed bounce this time, and listens very hard. Chen almost scoffs; a human wouldn't be able to hear a mermaid coming, he's wasting his time. But he lets him be.

The feeling of power, or magic so strong he can feel the weight of it pressing down on him from all sides- she's angry, he realises, but not only that; she's _scared_ \- intensifies until he finds himself holding his breath deliberately.

" _Tywysog ifanc_ ," her voice somehow manages to find him, even hidden here.

 


	5. Five

" _Tywysog ifanc_ ,"

"Jongdae, I don't understand, what's going on?" Joonmyeon is frantic, fluttering uselessly around his cabin. Wheezing, Chen tries to explain, 

"It is my mother. She can. ..power.... talk... mind." Each word is punctuated by a deep scraping breath, until Joonmyeon gets the idea to pour more water over the suffocating merman. 

"She's telepathic?!" Joonmyeon screeches. Not only does she set carnivorous animals on her child she also posses supernatural powers? Joonmyeon is beside himself with fear, hands shaking so much he almost misses Chen and gets water all over the floor.

"I don't know. But she is close. I have to. I can't-! She can't find me!" Chen beseeches, clinging on to his sleeve even though he hates the texture.

"But you need water and if she's out there then how am I supposed to get it?" 

"Rock pools," Chen gasps. Joonmyeon nods, and grabs the empty bucket, and is out of the door before Chen can even blink. He doesn't think he's ever seen him move that fast. If only he could reach the other bucket from here. His tail is useless for picking things up with, so instead he tries to push it closer, the bottom of the bucket scraping across the ground noisily.

Joonmyeon bursts back in before he succeeds, panting. He pours more water over Chen, looking oddly pale for having just run.

"Your mother. I think she was speaking to me. But I couldn't understand her, she was speaking merfolk language, so I just ran for it. I hope she doesn't take that as an offense." His voice quivers.

"It is my fault. She is angry with me, not you." Chen wants to apologise to him, but he wouldn't know what he's saying sorry for. This is all his fault, it's his fault that Joonmyeon might be in danger, and the guilt is almost overwhelming. But he promised himself that he wouldn't give in: he wants more than anything to stay with Joonmyeon here, but had he really considered the price of that before now? He'd never really thought about whether his mother would care, let alone what she would _do_.

"But-" Joonmyeon starts, but he cuts himself off, unsure what to say.

The silence consumes them as they wait with impending fear over what Chen's mother may do. Chen doesn't know what lengths she might go to to get what she wants. He guesses that the reason she's here is because she wants to keep the merfolk's existance a secret, but he knows Joonmyeon would never tell on him. He trusts him with his life.

Slowly, Chen runs out of oxygen, and soon he's gasping again, shards of pain constricting his lungs. Joonmyeon has tears in his eyes, panicking over the young prince's state. Fleetingly, Chen wonders if all humans can make water well up in their eyes like that. It would be useful for merfolk who want to live above the water, he thinks.

"We don't have a choice!" Joonmyeon shouts, his voice high pitched, "I have to take you back to the sea! You're going to drown if you don't!" He runs a hand through his already messed up hair, tufts sticking out wildly in all directions, making him look crazed.

"No! My mother-" He wanted to say that his mother might hurt him, but he can't get the words out. Joonmyeon takes his inability to speak anymore as acquiescence, and darts forward to scoop him up out of the chair sliding his hand underneath his back, and a little way down his tail. Just like the time he took him to the sea when he was stranded.

Chen flails a little, not wanting to go closer to his mother lest they get hurt, or banished, or taken away- or a whole host of terrible things. But his head hurts from the lack of oxygen, and his vision is starting to darken around the edges. Opening the door with his foot, Joonmyeon jogs as fast as he can to the rock pools, careful not to drop him, or jostle him around too much. 

Even just this much closer Chen can feel the immense force his mother exerts over her surroundings. She's getting angrier and angrier, he can tell. Its a good thing these rock pools are cut off from the tide, otherwise they'd be in trouble: while Chen might've been able to navigate these rocks relatively agilely, he doubts his mother would be able to. For one thing, she's over twice his size, which is what comes with age. And she is old.

" _Tywysog ifanc!_ " He hears his title again, the words echoing through his mind. Judging by the wide eyed look of alarm on Joonmyeon's face, he heard it too. If he can, maybe other people on the island can too. Surely that's the _opposite_ of what she wants? 

"What is she saying?" Joonmyeon breathes, while using his hands to scoop up handfuls of water from the rock pools and pour them over Chen's back. 

"She is calling me. 'Young Prince'." Chen replies, with a sour look. He hates his title. He might as well be called _tywysog ddiwerth_ \- useless prince. He casts a quick wary glance towards the open ocean, disturbingly tranquil in appearance. She wouldn't show herself above the ocean, not to a human.

Chen knows he doesn't have much time before she does something drastic. She calls his name again, and Joonmyeon jerks stiffly, looking at Chen to see if he'll do anything about it. As far as he can see there isn't anything to do. It's either give in and go back with her or wait until she does something, probably with magic. He doesn't know exactly what her magic would allow her to do when not submerged since her powers are drawn from the water, he has no idea if she can breathe air, or manipulate the water so she can move over the surface: maybe she can turn into a human? All he knows is she possesses the strongest powers of anyone he knows.

"Why did she come for you?" Joonmyeon whispers, crouching against the rocks, flattening himself to the surface to minimalise the chance of him being seen- by what Chen has no idea, his mother isn't omniscient as far as he knows. She can't see everything all at once, just what's in front of her like anyone else,

"Because humans are dangerous," Chen replies, whispering back to appease Joonmmyeon's heart. He can tell he's scared out of his wits right now, and he doesn't blame him. But to be honest, he wouldn't have it any other way, and he knows it's selfish of him. Since he met Joonmyeon, his life has become so much more interesting. Before it was just a matter of aimlessly floating around the ocean, trying to find something to do that could hold his attention for more than a few seconds, while at the same time not getting in anyone's way. He woud never leave him, not for his mother, not for anyone. Joonmyeon is his friend.

" _Tywysog ifanc, this is your last chance. I know you are there, reveal yourself_." This time when her voice reverbrates in their minds, Chen can see Joonmyeon visibly shiver, though that might just be because of the temperature of the water soaking through his clothes. Trying to reassure him, Chen places his hand on Joonmyeon's forearm. He feels awfuully brave and bold for doing so, and it makes his heart pound, but the look of grateful relief on his friend's face makes the contact worth it.

Chen translates her mother's orders back to Joonmyeon, who then purses his lips, and stares pensively out to sea.

"I think we should go," Joonmyeon mumbles. Chen stares at him, aghast. He can't really mean that? 

"You are crazy? She will take me away and maybe hurt you!" Chen forgets about keeping their voices quiet, and all but yells at him. His voice can be heard for miles, he thinks, which means his mother almost certainly heard that. He's done for now.

"No. She's your mother, she's probably just worried about you. I mean, you're her child, right? That's got to mean something," Joonmyeon explains, using is knowlege of human mothers as the basis for this statement. 

"There are lots of children, Joonmyeon. I am youngest, the baby. She only wants me to keep our secret, that's all," 

"Be that as it may, I still think we should go talk to her. We might be able to come to some sort of compromise," 

"We won't." Chen states, as surely as the sun will rise.

"Please, Jongdae. Try. For me," Joonmyeon pleads. Chen doesn't want to, he really doesn't want to face his mother. But at the same time his first ever friend is asking him a favour. He tries to resist, he really does, but he can't. He can't go against Joonmyeon's wishes, not when he's looking at him like that. So he'll go. But he won't make it easy for him.

"You'll have to carry me, then. If I go into the water, she will have me." He reaches for Joonmyeon to pick him up, arms outstretched in the air like a human child. Joonmyeon smiles down at him affectionately, making a warmth bloom in Chen's chest. Not hesitating for even a second, Joonmyeon takes Chen's hands, wraps them around his neck, then hooks one arm underneath Chen's tail, and the other supports his back. Lifting him is no easy task, and he jostles him, trying to settle him so that he's comfortable to hold, and not going to slip out of his grasp.

Chen clutches at Joonmyeon's clothes, and rests his cheek on his shoulder, suddenly terribly scared, a great deal more than he was just moments ago. His mother is going to be terrifying. He doesn't know if he'll be able to handle talking to her, let alone persuade her to let him stay here. His skin, darker than it had been initially, slides against Joonmyeon's. It feels good to have him so close. Comforting.

As they draw nearer to the shoreline, Chen feels a surge of awareness, which must surely mean she's spotted them. He shivers, and cringes further into Joonmyeon's neck, knowing full well that nothing Joonmyeon can do will protect either of them from her wrath, but still feeling reassured by him. He likes how it feels this close, skin to skin.

" _Tywysog ifanc, what do you think you're doing?!_ " Chen's mother bellows, audibly this time, in the merfolk language that Joonmyeon can't understand. Well, even though he doesn't understand the words, he's sure he can understand the rage infused in her tone. Joonmyeon's arms tighten around him, and this gives Chen the courage he needed to speak. 

" _Mother, I intend to stay here,_ " he calls out, measuring his breath, then cringes, waiting for the backlash of angry magic which, sure enough, washes over him as soon as he's finished. Joonmyeon staggers under the force, but doesn't fall, or drop him. 

" _No. You will return to the palace with me_ ," She commands. He can feel her trying to bend his will, but it's not going to happen, not now that he has something more important to stay for. He won't leave him, and he won't go back there with her. _He won't._  

" _I refuse. I wish to stay here, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. You can try to persuade me all you like, but it will never work. This human is good, and I will stay with him._ " His lungs are starting to burn again, and patches of his skin are begining to prickle as they dry,

" _Humans are never good. Return with me now, and don't you ever defy me again!_ " She orders, her voice imperious as only a queen can manage. He wonders what she looks like-this water is far too shallow to contain her upright, so she's probably lying prostate in the water. How indecent, he thinks. Using the last of his breath, he says weakly,

" _This human saved my life, mother_ ," then he inhales, the air scraping his throat as it goes down. It's not doing the job, his body has lungs, but they're small and not mean to work with air like this. Joonmyeon's hands squeeze the parts of Chen's body he's holding onto. When Chen looks up, he sees Joonmyeon looking down at him worriedly, silently asking him if he's ok. Chen doesn't answer, because the only answer he'd be able to give is 'no'.

There is a pause, wherein the only sounds either of them can hear is Chen's laboured almost-breathing and the sound of waves buffeting the nearby cliffs. Surely in reaction to the queen's emotions.

" _Chen please come to the ocean. You are dying,_ " She pleads. Chen shakes his head, and is caught completely unawares by the burst of desperation the courses through him. But he still won't give in: he's not giving up his newfound freedom so easily as that, even if his vision is starting to go dark around the edges again. Joonmyeon shifts him in his arms again, so he's easier to carry, then leans downs so that his mouth is right beside Chen's ear,

"Chen you need to go into the water," he urges, eyebrows furrowed anxiously. Chen refuses, but his tail is jerking sporadically now, like a fish on land. Which he sort of is. "Just the shore, so you can breathe, _please_ ," Chen really wants to refuse again, but there are tears in Joonmyeon's eyes again, threatening to spill over, and a look of anguish that brings on a new set of pains in his chest, different from the burning already there. This one feels more like something tearing inside him. He screws up his eyes and resigns to nod.

Joonmyeon immediately springs to action, jogging forward as fast as he possibly can without bouncing Chen around too much, and wades into the water as deep as his waist. He submerges Chen immediately, and the relief is so acute that that almost hurts too. He gulps down water, the oxygen making him woozy and alert at the same time. He resurfaces, smiling slightly at Joonmyeon, grateful.

A sudden surge of water alerts Chen to her iminent arrival, the water rapidly rising to levels that have Joonmyeon grappling to hold on to Chen so he can keep his head above the water. Joonmyeon cries out as strong waves wash over them, and looking where Joonmyeon is staring with wide fearful eyes, he sees a huge shadow in the water, drawing gradually nearer and expanding. So this is her tactic: use magic to scare the human and intimidate her son. Well, Chen will remain resolute.

" _Chen_!" Her voice is thunderous, and it echoes off the cliff face, making the few birds that still remain there fly away. Chen shivers, and twines his arms around Joonmyeon's torso, swimming for the both of them. The surface of the water rises in a dome shape, then she breaks through and cascades of saline water shower over them, temporarily blinding Joonmyeon, and sending them closer to the shore.

" _I won't go!_ " He screams, visceral and defensive of what he has come to think of his home. He has to protect this, has to protect Joonmyeon and his freedom. He can't go back to the palace, not now, not after he's tasted what it's like to be free. The palace was a prison, or at least that's what it felt like. He won't go back.

The queen's head rises above the water, rivulets of ocean pouring over her virulent face like waterfalls, catching in her furrowed eyebrows and eyelashes. Her eyes glow with the power of the ocean- she is the ocean, if you think about it- and the stones inlaid into her crown shimmer with the build up of excess energy. 

" _Humans are not good for our kind. Stop behaving like an infant, and return home_ ," She doesn't even move her mouth- which is set in a snarl that shows off her dangerously sharp teeth- when she speaks, projecting her words with the use of her magic.

" _When was the last time you spoke with a human, mother? You dont know_ anything _about them!_ " Chen grips tighter to Joonmyeon as he screams back at her, indignant. Joonmyeon wraps his legs around his waist in an attempt to stay afloat, but it doesn't really register in Chen's mind. He's too busy tryng to excersise what little magic he has to protect him from being influenced by any spells she might send their way. She might try to make Joonmyeon go back to the shore, and then they'll be separated, possibly permanently.

" _You don't even need me anyway, do you?_ " He shrieks, his words coming out of his mouth like blades, " _You have so many sons, what does it matter that you're missing one? All I want to do is stay here, with Joonmyeon, why won't you let me do that?_ " 

She is immovable, staring down at him like one of the generation statues in the palace gardens, but seemingly bigger and more imposing than anything made from cultivated coral. Not even the waves jostle her, breaching on her like she's a cliff. Something is swimming inside her irises, something Chen doesn't understand but fears it might be bad for his cause.

She says nothing. Just narrows her eyes at them, staring them down. This gives Joonmyeon the chance to rearrange himself, so he's not inhaling burning breaths of saltwater, and ask Chen what's going on, in a marginally less crazed tone of voice. Not that he doesn't have the right to be wetting himself in fear: a giant angry mermaid queen just surfaced in front of him and is threatening the tiny merman prince in a language he can't understand. Chen is more than afraid too.

"What does she want from you?" He asks, almost inaudibly, quivering like he's cold even though it's a warm day. Chen turns them around so his mother can't read his lips, but so he isn't fully turning his back on her, and wonders how to explain this to the terrified human. He settles for recounting their conversation- if it can really be called that- and translating it as best he can. Every few seconds, Joonmyeon, teeth chattering, looks past his head and upwards at his mother, skin even paler than usual and fingers so cold.

Joonmyeon reaches closer, and wraps his arms around Chen, squeezing him. 

"Why won't she let you stay with me?" Joonmyeon mumbles into his neck. Chen blinks, and almost stops moving entirely out of surprise, which would be catastrophic considering Joonmyeon isn't a very good swimmer. He's never been this close to anyone in his life, and he's almost 100% sure that this shouldn't be causing him to want to smile, or feel all weird and warm inside, especially not when he's scared, but there's no stopping it. 

A sharp cry from Joonmyeon and swirling waters draw him from his musings, and he looks up at his mother, eyes still bubbling with magic and other things he doesn't understand. He agilely pulls Joonmyeon's arms around him so he's perched on his back, and wishes he were older and bigger too, then he might be able to actually stand a chance against her. If only he wasn't so _useless_.

The queen lowers her head, so she's no longer looking down her nose at them. Its makes Chen feel even smaller than he really is. He puffs out his chest, and furrows his eyebrows defiantly. He has to protect Joonmyeon at all costs. He's not sure when Joonmyeon and freedom become synonymous, but he's going to fight for both of them.

She opens her mouth,

" _You cannot stay here. You are merfolk. You do not belong with a human. It is illogical and merfolk cannot survive alone,_ "

" _But I won't be alone, I'll be with Joonmyeon."_ He tries once again to persuade her, though he's begining to see the inevitability of his dreams being crushed. Again. But he has to keep trying. 

"Doesn't she have magic powers? Can't she magic a way for you to stay here?" Joonmyeon asks, shouting to be heard over the rush of the water swirling around them. That's a good question. He hadn't thought about it much, but when he was searching through the library to find information about humans, he did recall seeing something about magic that could transform merfolk into a human, if only temporarily. He knew that however it worked, he wouldn't have enough magic to pull it off, so he disregarded it. His mother however...

" _There is a way I could become the same as him._ " Chen tries to explain, but the way her eyes darken suggests she doesn't like this idea, " _It could make it so that I could belong here. Please mother. I don't want to go back there, I hate it there. Everyone hates me._ " If he were human, he thinks he would be crying.

" _Chen. I know I don't show it, but you are my son. I do not hate you._ " 

" _That means nothing to me._ _I never had a friend back there. Joonmyeon is the only one and I will not leave without him,_ " 

" _There is a way he could live in the palace with us."_ She suggests. Chen curls his lip in disgust; there's no way he'd force Joonmyeon to live a captive life at the bottom of the ocean. Not in a million years. He closes his hand over Joonmyeon's wrist, and listens to his harsh breathing next to his ear,

" _No. Here is where we want to be. Neither of us will tell our secret- I will stay loyal despite how untrustworthy you seem to find me. And Joonmyeon will not either."_

Waves crash around them, violently battering the shoreline and the cliff face. Joonmyeon yelps, pressing his face into Chen's neck, and constricts his arms even tighter around him. 

" _You dare to try and force your will on me?_ " She bellows, raising her arms and raises huge lurching walls of water, battering them around and sending them up and down and under until neither of them know which way the sky is anymore. He screams. The water is blinding, even though he's supposed to be able to see better underwater, it's a task to keep himself from choking on the whirlpool building around them, let alone keep Joonmyeon from drowning too, but with a burning throat and dizzy eyes he somehow manages.

" _Please stop, mother!_ " He pleads, words garbled by the water in his mouth. It's no use begging. Instead, with steely determination, Chen makes it his priority to keep Joonmyeon safe, fighting and flailing against the strong currents that force him this way and that. Joonmyeon's grip loosens from his shoulders.

"Joonmyeon!" He yells desperately, grappling at his clothes, but he's slipping through his fingers-

Everything stops abruptly, the ocean receding to it's usual level, and looking calmer than Chen's ever seen it. Sunlight sparkles off the surface, making the area seem idyllic. Both of them look up at the mermaid queen.

Taking advantage of the sudden tranquility, Chen darts forward and holds Joonmyeon close, keeping him from sinking. He coughs twice, then moans, 

"Chen?" He whispers, voice hoarse, "are you ok?"

"Yeah." Chen smiles waveringly at him, leaning forward until their faces are all each of them can see.

" _Is this the way you truly want to live?_ " Her demand makes him jump. He moves Joonmyeon behind him again and nods. The queen blinks at him, troubled.

" _You have two moons. If I do not find a way to grant your wish to be human in that time, you must come back. Is that understood?_ " She leaves no time for contest, sinking back underneath the water surface and swimming away before what she said really sinks in. 

She's letting him stay.

_She's letting him stay._

Conditionally of course, but still. She's letting him stay here. With Joonmyeon! 

He whoops, throwing his arms into the air and almost dislodging his friend in the process. He relaxes his body and allows himself to sink below the water, his hair flowing out behind him as he ducks under the surface, only remembering that Joonmyeon is still clinging to his back when he splutters and grapples at his shoulders. Chen rolls over in his arms and arranges them so Joonmyeon is sitting astride is waist as he leisurely transports him back to shore. 

"She is gone," He reassures him breathily, with a grin. "I can stay here!" 

"Really?" Joonmyeon gasps, sitting up further and almost falling off, "that's brilliant!" Chen laughs gleefully in response, then the smile slides off his face as he remembers exactly what his mother said,

"Well. She said that I can stay if she can find a way for me to be human. If she can't find a way in two months, then I have to go back." 

"Oh." Joonmyeon says. He thinks about it for a moment, not noticing when Chen slows down and stops completely. "You want to be human?" 

"If it means I get to stay with you, then yes," he replies, resolute. Even though it hadn't truly considered it before, this would be the ideal solution to all his problems. Hesitatingly, he reaches up and cups Joonmyeon's cheek, feeling the smooth damp skin in his palm. Joonmyeon smiles, and leans into the touch, sending unknown bubbles of warmth through him. 

He allows himself to be mesmerised by Joonmyeon, to revel in how he can stay with the precious creature with his black hair plastered to his head, glistening droplets hanging from the ends of spiky strands. Then he realises Joonmyeon still looks scared, eyes darting left and right and chest heaving. 

"I guess this means we have two months to ourselves," Joonmyeon muses, mussing his hair and looking out to sea. Chen admires how the light catches his eyes, and how his hair doesn't make him look stupid, the way it would on him. 

"Yeah," he beams.

"Can we head back? I think I've had enough of the ocean for one day,"

 


	6. Six

"So what do we do now?" Joonmyeon asks, staring at the pink and orange dyed evening clouds wistfully. Chen likes the way the light shines on his face and highlights the straight line of his nose.

"I don't know." Chen muses, "We wait until our time is up? We don't have to waste it worrying, I think we need to be happy. Then, even if I  _do_ have to go, I won't feel bad."

"Yeah." Joonmyeon sighs, finally looking back at Chen, catching him in the act of staring at him. He looks away quickly, unsure why he feels like he was just caught doing something he shouldn't have been. He pokes at some seaweed floating on the surface to distract himself.

"If you do become a human, I'd like to take you places. Like- like Spain, I heard it's nice there. Or home, so you could meet my family. Or maybe the U.S.!" Joonmyeon enthuses, eyes glimmering with possiblities,

"What is a yoo-ess?" Chen questions, 

"It's a place, not a thing. A  _really big_  place, and there's lot's to do there. There's lot's to do  _everywhere_ , but it's very expensive to travel all over the world,"

"Why?" Chen is confused again. He has difficulty comprehending concepts like money, and 'expensive' because they don't exist in the merfolk kingdom. If you want something, and it is not in use by someone else, usually it's just given to you. Especially if you are going to do something useful with it.

"Because the people who make the airplanes charge money to let people use them," Joonmyeon explains, a little weary, as if he knows this is going to be a long explanaition, glad at least they have covered the topic of planes and flying before,

"Buy why?" He frowns, "If people want to travel, why can't they? Why do they need money to go to a different place?" It's so frustrating, and Joonmyeon sighs,

"I don't know, Jongdae, but that's just the way it is. But we'll find a way to pay for a flight to somewhere for the two of us. Somehow." 

"I will look forward to it,"

-

Chen watches Joonmyeon comb the beach for seashells, delighted. He doesn't even understand why he's so happy, although perhaps just being allowed to spend time near him is the reason. Joonmyeon is gathering seashells so he can make pretty jewellery out of them, and sell them on the other side of the island during the tourist season. Though that term might apparently be a little strong, when he says tourist season he means a few people that book a holiday for a week and find out there's nothing to do here and consequently leave a day early.

Joonmyeon paddles back and forth, barefoot and letting the shoreline wash over his toes refreshingly, crouching occasionally to pick up a shell and place it in a bag. Chen remains a short distance away, bobbing up and down with the current. Joonmyeon doesn't seem to have very many shells in his bag, which Chen thinks is both bad and good. Bad because if he doesn't have a lot of shells then he won't be able to sell much jewellery, and then he'll have less money. But also good because tiny creature live in the shells, especially the bigger ones. What could Joonmyeon use for his bracelets and necklaces that's from the beach but also not going to be bad for the environment? 

His crown itches, so he takes it off, and scratches his head. He'd leave it in Joonmyeon's house, but it would just dry out. Chen looks at it, turning it over in his hands, inspecting each twist and curl of white coral.

Suddenly Chen has an idea. He turns tail and ducks under the water with a splash, missing Joonmyeon's startled frown, and heads for deeper water. He's not completely sure what he's looking for, but he'll know when he finds it, he's certain. 

Chen scours the ocean floor, dragging his fingers through the sand and watching as it comes up in clouds when disturbed. He searches through the corals and seaplants, careful not to bother the tiny fish that live there, in search of something he could give to Joonmyeon. He finally finds what he's looking for when he spots five or six oily black scalloped shells. He drifts over to them, smiling, and picks one up, then using a little magic to coax it open.

Shells like these do not take kindly to being opened, so it takes a little while of persuasion, but once it's open he uses his sharp fingernail to slice through a thin membrane that contains a tiny pearl, shaped like a wonky sphere. Chen grins, and soothes the disgruntled oyster letting it fall back to the ocean floor in a cloud of sand. Pearl safely in his hand, he works on the others, only finding two more, but he is still pleased with his success. He holds the three irregularly shaped pearls in front of him, and silently thanks the oysters for giving them to him.

He rushes to the surface, surprised just how far from the shore he had drifted, and begins making his way back to his friend,

"Joonmyeon!" He calls out, waving. Joonmyeon looks up in search of the source of Chen's voice, and waves back, splashing as he wades into deeper water. 

"Jongdae," he calls back, "where have you been all day?" 

"I was looking for these, look," Chen holds out his hands, revealing the three tiny pearls. Joonmyeon gasps, and drops the shell in his hand as he reaches out to cup Chen hands,

"Where did you get those?" He asks breathily, eyes darting up to look at Chen's tiara. Chen laughs,

"I got them from some oysters a little way out. I could- I could find some more if you like?" 

"Could you? That would be great. These are _beautiful_ ," Joonmyeon takes the little stones out of Chen's hands and puts them in his bag, "thank you so much," he grins. Chen stares at him for a moment, smiling back, then catches himself and ducks under the water, hearing the start of Joonmyeon's bubbly laughter as he swims deeper.

-

Floating gently just below the surface of the water, Chen plays with a starfish which rests on his stomach begrudgingly. Occasionally he looks over to the shore to make sure Joonmyeon is still there. He'd given him all the pearls he could find, and now he was making jewelery with them, and the tiny shells he procured beachcombing. He says usually he makes his wares inside his house, but he thought it would be nice to make them outside this year, so he brought all of his equipment out onto the beach.

Sometimes Chen hears the shrill sound of a drill- another new word he learned that day- boring holes in shells so that he can thread them together, and it makes him jump. He's pretty sure the other wildlife don't like it either, but Joonmyeon assures him he does all of the noisy stuff on the first day, so it doesn't drag on. Even so, most of the seagulls have already flown off.

The starfish is begining to tickle as it moves further upwards, and Chen takes this as a sign that it wants to be let off, so he rolls over and swims towards the cliffside, depositing it there gently and making sure it's safe before going back to Joonmyeon. He sidles closer, wincing everytime Joonmyeon's drill starts shrieking, and wondering how on earth someone can put up with that noise willingly. 

Joonmyeon waves to him when he spots Chen lurking in the water just a little ways off, and Chen hides, sinking slightly so that only his eyes are above the water and he can still watch. 

It takes all morning for him to finish, but once he has, Joonmyeon wades into shallow waters to show him one of the things he's created.

"This one is from last year, one of the ones I didn't get to sell, but this is the kind of thing I make." He holds out a finely woven bracelet, with shells of pinks and yellows hanging in patterns. Chen reaches out to touch it, amazed that something so pretty could be made without the help of magic, and runs his damp fingers along the lines of thread, leaving a trail of water. 

"It's very lovely," Chen compliments,

"Thank you. Actually- would you like to have it?" He takes Chen by the hand and wraps the braclet round his wrist, tying the ends together. Chen feels his hearts beat faster and his tail spasms in excitement- a gift from Joonmyeon? His soul is singing as he holds it up to the light, and he isn't able to curb the goofy grin. Joonmyeon probably doesn't understand that gifts like this signify deep relationships for his kind, so he doesn't mention it, but he'll pretend that he knows, so he can delude himself into thinking Joonmyeon thinks as highly of him as he does Joonmyeon.

"Thank you so much Joonmyeon, it is beautiful. _Yr wyf yn ddioglar derbyn_ ," he clasps his hands before him formally as he says the words that mean thank you in his own language, that means that he is accepting the gifts. Joonmyeon furrows his eyebrows, but doesn't say anything about it. 

"Joonmyeon?" A voice that is neither Chen's or Joonmyeon's echoes across the beach. Both of them freeze, Chen staring up at Joonmyeon in fear and waiting for some kind of instruction. The voice calls out again, this time louder, meaning whoever it is must be closer.

"Jongdae, go hide. He can't see you, ok? Go. _Go_." Joonmyeon runs towards the sand, barefeet kicking up white foam in his wake. Chen turns tail and flees, wondering how such a sweet moment turned sour so soon. 

From a safe distance, Chen spies Joonmyeon meeting with another human, tall and long haired. They embrace each other, and Chen feels like he shouldn't be watching this, it's too intimate, but then they separate and they seem less like parents, or a coupling, and more like friends. Chen's sudden flare of jealousy dissipates to a dull, petulant undertone.

The two seem like they're laughing, then after the tall one slaps Joonmyeon's back twice- Chen dislikes this human- they both troop into Joonmyeon's house, effectively cutting Chen completely out of everything. Toying with the bracelet that Joonmyeon just gave him, he wonders what he should do. Joonmyeon would probably expect him to just stay put until the other human leaves, but along with still being slightly jealous, he's also very curious. He's never met another human besides Joonmyeon, and it would be interesting to compare the two, see what's the same and what's different.

Steeling himself, he makes his decision. It'll probably hurt but he's going to scale the rock pools again, to see how close he can get to Joonmyeon's house. Maybe then he'll catch another glimpse of this other human, or be able to listen to their coversation. 

Careful not to break or damage his new jewelry, Chen propels himself into the rock pool closest to the shore by swimming fast and jumping out of the water like a dolphin. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the accuracy or precision he needed to, so he lands painfully and has to scramble to find purchase and heave himself up and over. After that it comes easier, though with less pain. He should have gone the easy way, he thinks, but that takes longer. 

Slowly, he slithers across each puddle of water, doing his best to dodge anenomess and crabs as he passes through, until he's about as close as he can get to Joonmyeon's house, without going without the water he needs to breathe. But it's still nowhere near close enough, and Joonmyeon doesn't even have windows big enough for him to look through. 

He looks over his shoulder at his tail and sighs in frustration. Life would be so much easier if he were a human and had legs. How he hopes his mother will find magic that can change him.

Nothing happens for a long time, and the rocks dig into his skin while he waits impatiently for the human to leave so he can get his friend back. The time passes sluggishly, and Chen takes to watching the trees nearby swaying in the gentle sea breeze. The way the leaves intermingle with one another is fascinating, but still it's only a distraction to take his mind off what Joonmyeon and the other human might be doing in there together, and leaving _him_ out of.

He probably isn't actually there for as long as he thinks he is, but when Joonmyeon and the other human do come out, he doesn't think he can even move properly anymore. With some measure of soreness from being still for so long, and from the scrapes lining his stomach, he peeks around the rocks to get a better view of both of them. 

"Yes, well it was nice seeing you again. I don't really understand why you live here like a little hermit, though. You should come visit the rest of us more often," the other human says, their voice of a higher pitch than his or Joonmyeons, then they laugh, eyes crinkling up sweetly. Whoever they are, they have a very pretty face, Chen thinks grumpily. He hopes they leave soon. 

He gets his wish a few moments later, after the hug again, then the intruder turns around and walks up a tiny dirt path that Chen hadn't notice before now, despite having been here for three weeks in total. They turn around one last time and wave at Joonmyeon before disappearing from sight entirely. Once they're gone, Joonmyeon heads straight for the shoreline, splashing into slightly deeper water,

"Jongdae? Where are you?" 

Chen rolls over, intent on getting back to the ocean and meet Joonmyeon like he wasn't just trying to spy on him and the other human, and hauls himself back over the rock pools back the way he came, but misjudges himself, and falls into a crevice that he can't pull himself out of. Sharp edges of stone cut into his shoulder and he thinks he might be bleeding again, and he hates himself for being reckless and getting into stupid situations like this. If Joonmyeon weren't here he would probably die out here, he thinks. 

But he doesn't want to draw attention to himself in this state, it's embarrassing. He tries once again to pull himself up and out, squirming and wriggling to no avail. If he flails any harder his tailfins might tear completely. He sags, listening to the increasinlgy more frantic cries of his name somewhere in the distance. 

Why did he have to do this anyway? He's so stupid, no wonder his family didn't even want him back. He gives up, and lies there, limp like a dead fish, and tries to breathe the best he can. He shuts his eyes and waits for Joonmyeon to eventually find him- he'd shout but he doesn't think his voice would carry. All he can see from this twisted position is the sky, so he resigns himself to cloud watching.

"Jongd- there you are! Jongdae what are you playing at? I've been worried- are you ok?" Joonmyeon pants as he climbs closer. Immediately, he helps Chen out of his sticky situation, scolding him for getting himself stuck here in the first place, but wincing when he sees each new cut adorning his skin. 

"How did you get yourself into this mess, huh? Jongdae? I thought you hated going in the rock pools," Joonmyeon accuses, prising the floaty part of his tail away from the rocks and untangling everything. Chen doesn't want to answer that, but Joonmyeon carries on talking so he doesn't really have to.

"Were you trying to get a look at Sooyoung? I guess that's fair since you haven't met anyone but me, but next time just tell me, ok? I trust her, so maybe we could introduce her to you, instead of you getting yourself hurt- I mean look at all this," he gestures at Chen's torso, which he feels the urge to cover, "you really shouldn't be hurting yourself like this, ok? Don't do it again. Got that?"

Chen nods, chastised. He already regretted doing this, but with Joonmyeon telling him off like this, he feels even worse. 

"I'm sorry," 

"Hey, don't be upset. It's just like the time we met, right?" He adds, "Do I need to carry you back to the water again?" He laughs as Chen curls around himself, shy and quiet, "I'll take that as a yes,"

His hands slip underneath Chen's waist and tail, and he lifts Chen up and holds him tightly as he steps down from the rocks. Chen wraps his arms around his neck to make it easier for him. Joonmyeon smells of something that isn't salt or fish. It's sweet, though, and thick, though he doesn't know if those are words you can use to describe the way something smells. He breathes it in greedily, and doesn't notice how the corner of Joonmyeon's lip curves up.

-

Later that day, Chen drifts on the surface of the ocean nearby the rock Joonmyeon is sat on, feeling the warm air touch his skin. It tickles. The stars glitter and twinkle above them, and Chen marvels at them, so rarely having seen them before. And then the moon is magnificent too. He loves staring at the night sky. He spares a glance at his friend, who is swirling his fingertips in the tiny waves that breach against his rock. 

"Joonmyeon. What does 'sexy' mean?" Chen wonders, having heard him use it once before, but he has a feeling it might be a bad thing because of the tone of voice Joonmyeon had used when saying it. 

The dark haired boy looks up quickly, affronted, and Chen worries that he's said something awfully rude or offensive for a second, but relaxes when Joonmyeon purses his lips and widens his eyes, looking to the side. Curiously, his cheeks turn pink too. Now Chen really wants to know what this word means, if it makes him flush and act shyly like this. 

"W-Where did you hear that from?" Joonmyeon asks, a little shakily.

"You said it, a while ago. You called your brother's girlfriend 'sexy'. Or you said your brother thinks she is that. What does it mean?" He rolls over in the water and swims a little closer, so Joonmyeon doesn't have to shout the answer across to him. Joongmyeon hikes his legs up and sits cross legged, wringing his hands together nervously.

"Um. How do I explain this? Uhh." He bites his lower lip, "Do you know what, um, sex is?"

"No." Chen starts to feel anxious. Obviously this is a sensitive subject, maybe it's taboo? He feels dreadful for making Joonmyeon explain it. But he really wants to know.

"No, of course not. Ok." He uncrosses his legs, and shimmies a little closer to the edge of the rock, letting his legs dangle off and his touch touch the water again, "Babies. It's- It's how babies are made."

"I don't understand," Chen is very confused. Why is _procreation_ making him react like this? Unless there's something more to it. And what do babies have to do with 'sex'?

"Ok, first I need you to tell me how that works for you. Babies, I mean," Joonmyeon says, lips twisted, not entirely sure he won't regret saying that.

"Female mermaids make eggs and the the males make them ...alive? with - I don't know the words. What does that have to with 'sexy', Joonmyeon?" If possible, Joonnmyeon is even darker red than before, wearing a pained expression.

"It's different for humans. Sex isn't just for making babies for us, it can be for fun, and 'sexy' means- it's used to describe people you want to do that with,"

"Oh," 

"Yeah," 

"Why is sex fun?" the sound of Joonmyeon's hand smacking his forehead makes a nearby bird fly off. 

"Because it feels good."

"Oh. Can you show me?"

"No!" Joonmyeon shouts, "I mean, you can't do it with friends- well I mean you  _can_  but I'm not that kind of person. And besides: if we did anything that would be interracial and frowned upon by society! Oh god, my life is in ruins," he moans. Chen doesn't understand a great deal of what Joonmyeon just said, but he grasped that sex is not for friends. He runs his fingers over the bracelet that adorns his wrist. Would Joonmyeon have still given it to him if he knew what it meant to his people?

"Ok. Not friends. Then who?" He asks, determmined to get as much information about everything as he can, even if it means hurting himself in the process.

"People who are in love,"

"But I love you,"

"Yes, I love you too. But to love and to be  _in love_  are different. It's hard to explain," he sighs loudly, "Jongdae, it's a very complex topic, we could talk for hours on it. But the short of it is people who are in love want different things from each other than people who are friends. Friends want to spend time together and do fun, happy things, and talk about stuff they like. Lovers want to do that _and_ things like touching and kissing, and. And other things." 

"What other things?" 

"You-" he splutters, "I mean sex. Things like sex. Though I guess that isn't required either. I don't know. The feelings are different, I guess. Why do you want to know, anyway?" He asks, deflecting. 

Chen doesn't reply, too busy thinking over what Joonmyeon just said. He wants to spend time with Joonmyeon, so that makes him friend, but he also likes it when they touch, so does that make him in love, too? But he doesn't understand what Joonmyeon means by some of the other things, perhaps it's the way they touch that changes things. His head hurts. Why are humans so hard to understand?

"Have you ever had in love, Joonmyeon?"

"Have I ever been in love? Yes. A couple of years ago. It didn't end well, so I don't like to remember it."

"Oh," Maybe it would be insensitive of him to ask about how it felt, then. "What is kissing?"  

Joonmyeon makes a shocking, gurgling noise, and covers his face with his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone feel sorry for joonmyeon? lol


	7. Seven

Chen lounges on the shoreline, feeling the sand against his back, and the waves gently washing over his shoulders and running through his shoulder length hair. It feels good to bask in the sun, and he knows this would be one of the things he would miss most if his mother can't figure out a transformation spell. Besides Joonmyeon, of course. He can hear him pottering about inside his tiny little home, but doesn't know what he's doing in there.

He touches the bracelet Joonmyeon made for him, to remind him it's still there, and sighs happily. Even though he can feel the creeping sensation of hunger tightening in his stomach, he's loathe to move right now. It would be fairly simple to catch a fish, he eats them raw all the time, but it would be even better to ask Joonmyeon for some food. Human food is so varied, and full of interesting new flavours. That's something he anticipates when he becomes human: he wants to taste all the different kinds of food he can, in all the different lands.

Soft footfalls behind him alert him to Joonmyeon's presence, but he doesn't look up. Neither of them speak as Joonmyeon crouches next to him, then not caring about getting his clothes wet any more, sits down beside him. Chen finally looks over when he thinks some time has passed, and is slightly surprised and confused to find Joonmyeon staring at him. Joonmyeon coughs delicately, and holds out another one of those plastic bags that the food he buys comes in. Chen rolls over to investigate, looking closely at the writing he doesn't understand very well yet. Squinting at it, he tries to read:

"Cho-to-pay?"

Joonmyeon laughs, "Chocopie," he corrects, opening the packet and handing Chen one of the small round things inside. Chen inspects it, wondering what it is and if it has any relation to anything else Joonmyeon has given him to try. 

"It's good, go on, try it," Joonmyeon encourages. Chen wastes no time in taking a huge bite, and his eyes widen at the sweet flavour flooding his mouth. He makes a pleased noise and flops onto the sand with his eyes closed, chewing slowly. 

"I told you it was good," he chuckles, opening one for himself, "I got these just for you, by the way. I don't normally buy this kind of thing, but I thought you would like to try it,"

"Mm, thank you Joonmyeon," he moans, licking his lips clean of chocolate. Joonmyeon clears his throat, and looks away, suddenly very interested in what lies beyond the horizon.

"When I am human, what will happen?" Chen muses. "Will I be able to walk like you?"

"I don't see why not. It will probably take a while to get used to it. But you'll get there, I'm sure," 

"I hope so," Chen agrees, flicking his damp hair to the side. Joonmyeon sighs, lying back into the shore parallel to Chen, letting the warm shoreline wash over his shoulders too,

"When you're human I'll take you wherever you want to go. It might be hard, since you have to have a passport to go to a lot of places, but I'll do my best. I'm sure we'll find a way!" He turns his head so he's looking directly at Chen, his proximity startling and not good for his health. It's making his hearts beat faster. "Ho do you feel about theme parks?" Joonmyeon laughs,

"What?" The merman frowns quizzically. He's never heard of that before.

"A theme park. That's a place you can go to have fun, there's lots of things to do there. Rides, games, pretty things to see, things to eat-"

"I will go there with you!" Chen interrupts, "I-I mean, I want to visit this place with you. Please," 

"It's not just one place, there's lots of them. We can make it our life mission to visit all of them, if you want?" Joonmyeon is only teasing, but he thinks that maybe it really should be their goal to go see every single one of these attractions if it makes Jongdae smile like _that_ each time. Taking him on a rollercoaster would be so much fun. He'd probably be scared out of his mind the first time, but after that Joonmyeon bets he'd be dragging him into each queue, desperate to go on again and again.

"Yes please," 

"We can go to one of the disney ones first, I know there's one in  France and that should be easier to get to than America, they have heavy border control over there I think. But before that we should watch some disney movies, so you know what kind of thing to expect. Ah, it's going to be _so great_. I can't wait for you to be human,"

"Me too," He anticipates the future so much, the human world seems fascinating. He wants to see everything, castles, gardens, flowers, birds, cinemas, clothes shops- _everything_. And all of it with Joonmyeon. He'd be lost without him, he thinks; he's the person who brought light into his life. After meeting him, his existance has been thrown into a vortex of colours and smells and tastes and experiences, without even leaving this small beach. He can't even imagine how much more there is to try out there.

"Maybe one day you can meet my family," the human muses, looking at Chen in a way that makes his stomach flutter as though clouds of krill are trying to escape from inside him. Meeting Joonmyeon's family would be an honour. If they are anything like Joonmyeon himself, then he's sure he would love all of them. He knows a bit more about famillies in the human world now, so he can safely say that his mother probably won't be a scary overlord like his own, and his siblings are probably nicer to him that Chen's. 

"I would like that,"

"Me too. I'd like that too," Joonmyeon looks at him again, then wriggles a little closer until their shoulders are touching the slightest bit. Suddenly the krill inside Chen go insane. He looks away, trying to steady himself. What has gotten into him? Luckily Joonmyeon is silent for a while, which gives him the chance to pull himself together, and hide his annoying bodily reactions. When he's finally calm, and not scared of drying up from the heat rushing to his face, Joonmyeon speaks again.

"Jongdae? What's your home like?" 

Chen purses his lips, trying to think of some good words, but all the interesting ones escape him,

"Big. And dark."

"Are there lots of rooms? Why is it dark? Do you have lots of land- er- water? Territory?" The way the human is throwing question after question at him reminds him of how was when he first started speaking with him, and makes him feel a little bad for withholding the information. Clearly he'd been burning with curiosity.

"Yes, there are lots of rooms. My bedroom is far away from the others. It's dark because it's at the bottom of the ocean, silly," He answers. Joonmyeon laughs at the obvious response, 

"And the land? Is there lots of space down there?" 

"Yes. We have _huuuge_ coral gardens," he draws it out with his hands in the air above them, making lots of small squares with his hands, "if the palace ends here, then the gardens keep going all the way up here," his hand travels way up above his head, "but I am not allowed to go there. Well, it doesn't matter now, I wasn't allowed to leave the palace but here I am."

"Because you kept running away?" 

"Yes, I think my mother thought I wouldn't return. She was right." Joonmyeon stares at him, lips pursed as he takes in his determined expression. Then sensing that this could turn into quite a sensitive topic, he changes the subject a little,

"So, these gardens. I don't know what plants grow that deep in the sea, what do you have there? Just coral?"

"No, not just coral, but those are the most impressive things. With magic, some merfolk can talk to the coral and ask it to grow in certain shapes. There are coral shapes of all the monarchs there. Lots of them,"

"Wow," Joonmyeon stares ahead without seeing anything, his eyes focused somewhere inside his mind instead, imagining the wonders at the bottom of the sea. It's strange how their roles so easily reverse, Chen thinks, both of them so excited by the prospect of something new, a whole other world to explore. But he would only become trapped there, getting out of there is so much harder than getting inside. If Joonmyeon ended up down there he'd be stuck forever. Chen wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially not him.

At peace, the two of them lie together and watch as the clouds drift by, and amuse themselves by pointing out different shapes in the billowing whiteness. This leads to more explanations as Joonmyeon has to explain what a lot of these things are, like rabbits. It seems to baffle him that he doesn't know what a dog is. Cloudwatching continues for a long time, until the sky starts to glow a warm orange, with the clouds glowing pink in wispy strands and the sun itself mirrored in the ocean, a shattered orange-red reflection.

"It's so romantic," Joonmyeon sighs, after a long period of quiet. He'd long ago stopped caring about how his fingers turned wrinkly, and he'd removed some of his clothes a while ago since they were chafing.

"Is this another word for love?" Asks Chen, intrigued. He's still confused over the human's bizzare culture around mating, so he wants to learn as much as he can.

"Sort of? It's related. Romantic is used to describe something that, uh, makes you want to fall in love?" 

"So the sky...makes you want to fall in love?" Chen is incredulous. How can something like that make you want to spend a long time with someone else, or have sex? 

"No! Well, sort of. It creates an atmosphere. Think of it like this: you're both staring at the sunset together, and one of you says 'it's so beautiful' because the sky is so pretty, like it is now. Then the other person is looking at you instead of the sunset, because the warm orange-yness makes them look _different_ , and it makes them light up and then, without even looking at the sunset at all, they say 'I know-"

"You are beautiful," 

"Yeah! Uh- what?" Joonmyeon looks startled, probing Chen's face for answers. 

"I understand romantic now I think," he mumbles, staring at Joonmyeon's face. The light _does_ make him look different, it makes him glow and flush pink. But maybe, the pink has nothing to do with the sunset. His round face reminds him of the moon, and Chen thinks that simile is apt, because the moon reflects the sun's light, and controls the sea. Chen thinks that, maybe, he'd do anything for Joonmyeon.

"Y-you do?" His voice cracks slightly.

"Yeah," Chen doesn't elaborate, instead he asks, "how did you know you were in love? Before?"

As if snapping out of a trance, Joonmyeon blinks and raises his eyebrows, "uuhh," he says intelligently. "I guess I didn't, really. I wasn't sure at first, but we both decided to try it anyway, but unfortunately we weren't good for each other even though it was good to start with. I left because all we ever did was argue and I knew he wasn't going to leave. He was so stubborn."

"So you weren't in love?" 

"No, I don't think so. Not at the end, at least. At the beginning I might have been in love, who knows?"

"Could you... please tell me what you felt like?" Chen implores, looking intensely into Joonmyeon's eyes, wanting to know what signs to look out for, "because when I am with you I don't know if I am friends or different," 

Joonmyeon bites his lip, bright pink blossoms blooming across his cheeks, staring up at the sky, "Well when I first met him, I thought he was really attractive-"

"What does that mean?"

"I thought he was very good looking, handsome, I wanted to spend time with him. And my heart would beat faster when he was nearby." He smiles softly to himself. "And then, of course, there were the butterflies."

"Butterflies?" Chen frowns.

"Butterflies are an insect, very pretty, but here it's a metaphor. I mean there was a tickly feeling in my stomach. When people are nervous they say they have butterflies in their stomach because it feels like theres something fluttering around inside you."

"Oh," He lies back. What Joonmyeon just described sounds like the krill he's been experiencing, maybe that's what he meant? Does that mean he's other than friends with Joonmyeon? It's the only logical conclusion, because everything that he just said, Chen has experienced. He thinks he must be, he likes Joonmyeon in a way that's different than friendship. If only he had other friendships to compare this feeling to, then maybe this wouldn't be so hard. His lonely childhood means that he can't differentiate.

"Yeah. But like I said, we grew apart. There hasn't been anyone I felt the same way about since then," he says, glancing at Chen from the corner of his eye. Just as Chen opens his mouth to ask another question, Joonmyeon yawns loudly, stretching his arms way above his head, 

"Aah- I should go to sleep now," he says, starting to get up. 

"Oh. Ok." He fishes around for his clothes in the shallow water, and bundles them up into a ball before he stands up, and Chen watches him wordlessly. Why does it suddenly feel like Joonmyeon doesn't want to talk to him anymore? He feels a little hurt, but he's right, they should go to sleep soon.

"Goodnight,"

"Night," the human stands there for a moment longer, looking as if he wants to say something else, but decides against it, turning back to his home instead. He stares at Joonmyeon's back as he leaves. He has a lot to think about and analyse tonight, and he contemplates as he drifts to his makeshift seafloor bed. About how he feels when Joonmyeon is there, and whether he is in love or if he is just imagining things. 

Come morning he is still confused, but thinks he is _probably_ in love with the human. Probably. Maybe. Most likely. What he really needs to do is a test, meaning he needs to try out these 'other things' Joonmyeon mentioned before, and see how he reacts to them. He thinks if he were just a friend after all, then he wouldn't like to do them, but if he is...

Would Joonmyeon accept him? Would he be disgusted? He's not sure if he could take the only person to ever willingly spend time with him rejecting him in that way, so maybe it'd be better to stay quiet about it for a while. That's what he would do if he had more time, at least. There's still the chance that his mother won't be able to find anything to turn him into a human, in which case he only has about a week left with him. Less than a week, actually, just five days. How had the time passed by so quickly?

Suddenly he's running out of time, and there's a pressure to find everything out there that wasn't there before. He needs to know whether he is a friend or not. He needs to clarify with Joonmyeon. 

Breaching the surface, he urgently searches for him, swimming rapidly closer to the shore while keeping his head above the water so he can see. He spots him lounging on a rock a little way out, rather than on the sand. On closer inspection, he isn't actually lounging, he's looking out, mostly likely for him. The thought makes his hearts swell, the idea that Joonmyeon wants to spend time with him as much as he does, makes his hearts _sing_. 

He's not going to dance around the subject, lest he confuse himself, he has to be direct.

"Joonmyeon!" He calls out, making the human jump a little, but he smiles when he sees him coming closer.

"Jongdae," 

"Joonmyeon, come down here, I need to ask you a question," Chen rests a hand on a lower part of the rock that Joonmyeon could sit on. Head tilting curiously, the human obliges and slips down until they're almost level with each other. Feet dangling in the ocean and tiny waves brushing against his calves, Chen looks up at the person he's pretty sure he's fallen in love with.

"I need to- I want to try something. Is it ok?"

"What is it?" Joonmyeon looks utterly perplexed, eyebrows coming together in the middle. Chen touches them to smooth them out, not wanting to see him upset. Joonmyeon's face slowly turns a pale shade of pink, making Chen smile.

"I want to 'kiss' with you,"

"W-what?!" Joonmyeon exclaims, jerking backwards, "why?"

"Is it wrong?" Chen retreats back into the water, hiding his face until only his eyes are visible. He hadn't expected that to hurt so much, like something inside him was torn. He pushes his hand against his chest, hoping it will fix whatever has gone wrong inside him, but it doesn't help.

"N-n-not _wrong_. I just didn't, well, I had no idea. That you wanted to. _Ahh_ ," he ruffles his hair. He drags his hands over his face and peeks through his fingers, "Why do you want to do this?"

"It's a test." Chen mumbles, lips barely touching the air.

"A test?"

"To find out if I love you,"

"Oh," Joonmyeon tucks his legs up to his chest, hugging his knees. He's silent for so long that Chen worries he's offended him somehow, and he feels horribly dejected even though Joonmyeon hasn't actuallly opened his mouth to say anything yet. He wants to swim away, to hide and never come out ever again.

"Ok," Chen's thoughts are interrupted by the quiet word. He looks up in shock,

" _Beth?_ I mean, what?!" Chen corrects himself after reverting to his mother tongue. Joonmyeon lets his legs dangle back in the water, and shuffles closer to the edge. Chen looks on, unsure what he's seeing. Joonmyeon makes a gesture that he's come to know means 'come here' so nervously he inches forward until Joonmyeon stops, by which time Chen in neatly situated between the human's knees, hands resting on the rock either side of him so he doesn't sink. 

"Ok." He breathes, "ok, you can kiss me." 

Chen freezes, staring at Joonmyeon without a clear idea of what to do now. They aren't even touching, yet he feels like he's never been closer to anyone in his life. The scenery fades and he can't take his gaze off Joonmyeon's eyes- he leans a little closer and Chen tries to remember everything Joonmyeon said about what a kiss is. Lips touching, right? He shoots a glance down at the human's mouth, and his own falls open instinctively.

It's short and sweet, so fast that Chen almost blinks and misses it, but Joonmyeon is retreating back, blushing colourfully. His lips were warm, and dry, and for some reason Chen wants to try again. Without really thinking, he reaches out and grabs Joonmyeon's head, guiding him back until they are reconnected. Joonmyeon makes a small startled sound but doesn't react other than that.

Nothing seems to be happening. Chen has his lips puckered against the human's which is exactly what he'd been told to do, but it's not right. Laughing, Joonmyeon wrenches away, leaving Chen mortified.

"You have to move your mouth, otherwise it doesn't work. Look, copy what I do- _gently_ ," he leans back in, pressing his mouth on his, and ever so softly moves his lips. Chen catches on quickly, and soon they're moving in tandem, and Chen feels his hearts fluttering inside him. His eyes shut of their own accord as he reciprocates, unconciously slipping his hands upwards to hold onto his arms. It feels good, he's surprised at just how warm he feels, something strange and new bubbling up inside him.

"See?" Joonmyeon mumbles against his mouth, just before he pulls back. Chen doesn't open his eyes immediately, trying to memorise the sensation as it plays ghost over his skin, but when he does Joonmyeon is looking at him intensely. He's having trouble thinking coherently, and all thought besides _more_ has flown away. 

"So? Did that decide anything?" 

"Ah?" Chen blinks a few times,

"About whether you l-love me?" Joonmyeon covers his mouth with his hand, shy.

"I don't know," Chen examines himself. His hearts are racing, and lips tingling, and he's drawing in short gasping breaths.

Wordlessly, he takes Joonmyeon's hand and draws it up to his chest so he can feel the arythmic pulsing beneath his skin, watching his face light up in awe. He smiles lopsidedly, letting out a happy sigh. Joonmyeon twines his fingers in Chen's hair and tugs him back for another kiss, prising his lips apart sweetly and swiping their tongues together, careful to avoid his sharp teeth. Joonmyeon makes a low noise in the back of his throat, and Chen is shocked by the answeing call in his belly, but it makes him cling onto the human harder, wishing they could just stay like this forever.

He's forced to breathe, so his wish cannot be granted, but he thinks he knows now. He has to be in love with Joonmyeon, there's no other explanation for how he feels. His priorities have changed slightly, he no longer wants to become human simply to travel the human world: he wants to travel the human world with Joonmyeon by his side.

"I think I am _in love_  with you," he pants, resting his cheek on the other man's shoulder, hoping he won't cast him away after his emotional confession. A warm dry hand slides accross his back and pulls him tighter to Jonmyeon's body, Chen's bare chest pressed against the human's clothed one. He hopes that means it's ok to feel this way.

"I have a feeling it's mutual," Joonmyeon sighs into Chen's hair, stroking his shoulder. Chen can't help but feel cherished, thinking back to one of his first days here when he called Joonmyeon sweet. But he's found new words that fit him too: like charming, and loveable and precious.

"You are- you are  _in love_ with me too?" Chen whispers, elated. If only his family could see him now, in love with a human! He'd be an outcast for sure. It's a good thing he's never going back there again, he thinks, gripping the sleeves of Joonmyeon's shirt so tight he might puncture the fabric. Joonmyeon hums softly, voice hitching at the end. 

There are so many problems that could arise from this, so many things that could come between them. Not least the fact that they aren't even of the same species, though with luck that issue will be sorted soon enough. He won't let that bring him down. They've got ages to figure out their future, it's going to be fine. They'll visit theme parks together and fly to different countries and hold hands, and it will be good. He convinces himself of this before asking,

"Can we kiss again?"

-

"No, I cannot just carry you to the other side of the island!" Joonmyeon laughs, smacking Chen lightly on his bare stomach, "Jongdae, do you know how heavy you are? I could barely make it from the rock pools to the sea with you!" Chen's indignant frown is giving him hysterics. 

"Fine, I understand. Stop laughing at me." He pouts, making the human laugh even more until he can barely breathe, and Chen is struggling not to smile a little too. It was a silly request, but he just wanted to see what it was like. Even if Joonmyeon could carry him the hour long walk there, he'd probably suffocate long before he reached there.

He stares at the clear sky, smile fading from his face. Today is the last day, and time is running dangerously short. He's on edge, and so is Joonmyeon, the both of them failing to hide their growing anxiety behind laughter and jokes. She'll be here soon, and then everything will be decided.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine," Joonmyeon tangles their fingers together. Chen still has difficulty believing this is real, that what happened between them wasn't some strange dream. They'd spent a lot of time in the days leading up to now kissing, and holding each other. With a degree of reverence, he looks at their entwined hands and hopes that they'll still be able to do this once everything is over with. It shouldn't be too long now, he thinks, looking out to the horizon.

 

He's right. It's not an hour later that Chen notices the first signs of his mother's arrival: still waters and silence in the evening air.  

"She's coming," 

"Ok. Should I stay with you?"

"Yes," he squeezes his hand. He has a feeling he's going to need all the help he can get. 

There's not so much drama in her arrival as last time, no sharks or waves, she simply glides closer with an empty stone expression. That does not bode well, Chen thinks, but it also doesn't necessarily mean bad news. He hopes.

"Mother," he greets, desperately wanting to hide behind his friend but he can't, this is something he has to face head on. His mother doesn't say anything for a while, just stares at them, eyes gradually tracing his face then down to their conjoined hands, but her face doesn't betray how she feels about it. Chen feels embarrassed to be seen like this, as physical contact isn't so common for merfolk, but he fears he might break if he isn't absolutely certain Joonmyeon is right there.

"Chen," he braces himself, clenching his jaw, "I personally searched through the palace library, and had trusted servants search all the libraries in the kingdom for information on how to transform you into a human. We found something, but the exchange... I am not willing to give up your memories. That is my final decision."

"No," Chen whispers aghast. "No! You _promised_!"

"I promised only that I would try. I have. And I have deemed the consequences too much to risk. Now come home," Her hair raises, snaking in the air like it would underwater, and her eyes illuminate the demi-darkness, casting haunting shadows across her imperial face.

" _No!_ " Chen screams, backing away from her and taking Joonmyeon with him. "No! I will not go!"

"You promised." She flings his words back at him,  and Chen can feel the subtle tingle of magic coursing through him, though he tries to resist.

"Chen? What's wrong?" Joonmyeon panics behind him, "Why are you shouting?! Did she not find anything? Chen!" 

"She says she found something but won't let me," he explains, keeping one eye on his mother as she raises her arms, saltwater cascading over her arms. She's about to try using magic on him somehow, he knows it, but he isn't strong enough to resist her if she truly used all of her power. He's weak, and her powers are magnificent, as befitting royalty. Yet another reason why he should just leave.

"Son, do not go back on your word now," she intones, eyebrows furrowing. Icicles of fear drip down into his stomach, and he pushes joonmyeon even further behind him for protection as the tides begin to swirl around them.

"Mother, I love him! I cannot leave him!" He tries to plead, but it's no use, he should know that by now. Once she has made her decision, it cannot be swayed. 

"Chen!" Joonmyeon cries out behind him, waves crashing over both of them now, rising higher and higher. Something invisible has a hold of him, he can feel it tugging at his body, trying to tear him away from his love, but he won't let it. He will fight! With everything he has, he will fight his mother and not leave his lover!

It hurts, the magic tears into his flesh like a thousand needles being dragged through his body, but he can't lose. Holding onto Joonmyeon for dear life, he notices his human is crying. He can feel the pull too, and is clutching at the merman with all the strength he has, but he's slipping. Together they aren't enough to hold out against the queen of the merfolk kingdom. 

Water roars in their ears, and with one final excruciating tug, Chen screams and slips through his fingers, flying through white water and spinnning, tumbling through the surface until he has no idea which way is up. Which way is back to Joonmyeon?

All he remembers before blacking out is bubbles surrounding him, and his mother telling him to sleep.


	8. Eight

The quiet sounds of water rushing past his ears awakens him from his artificial sleep. He cracks his eyes open a sliver, and hates what he sees. The dank ceiling of his own bedchambers. Sitting up slowly, he notes that he doesn't even hurt, which makes him wonder how long he was unconscious, and that's when the feelings start to kick in.

How could she? How could his own mother do this to him? Despondence wells up inside him. Is he ever going to see Joonmyeon again? He rolls up and cries, sobs wracking his body. His life has been ripped out from under him, he'd been so sure that his mother would find a way to help him. He stares at his bracelet, thankful that he still has this at least, along with the memories of that one month he'd spent with his human, his friend, his lover. The lover that his mother had deprived him of.

She was the Queen of the ocean, wasn't she? Why couldn't she do it? She must not have been trying. She _wanted_ him to stay here, imprisoned in this damn palace for all eternity. It must have been on purpose, maybe she didn't even look at all! He glares outside at the dark garden, not even lit by the glowing folliage at the moment so it just looks like a void, and decides that he hates it. He absolutely hates it here- there's so little colour here compared to the surface, where there are green leaves and flowers of all colours. The only thing that has colour here are the people, and they all hate him, so he has nothing.

He stays in his bedchambers for three days, no one comes to visit him, aside from to bring him food- boring food- and he's glad no one is trying to persuade him that life is better down here. Because it's not. 

He misses Joonmyeon terribly. Chen cries a lot, and wishes he were able to produce tears like a human, but there's no point. He glares at his tail in disgust, and wishes that he had two legs, not a flowy, scaly _thing_ that's useless above water. 

What would Joonmyeon be doing right now? He doesn't even know what time it is there, since the sun's rays don't reach way down here. Would he be asleep? Maybe he'd be beachcombing again, loooking for those little shells, he thinks, and touches his bracelet. It's now his most precious belonging, his crown doesn't even come close, it's just a reminder of what he hates.

Chen hopes Joonmyeon misses him too.

After the fifth sleep passes, Chen becomes tired of moping away uselessly. He needs to do something, even if that just means swimming through the palace gardens, like he used to. But that doesnt help either, it's just an extension of his cage, and it makes him feel like a bird in a story Joonmyeon told him. 

On the sixth day, he ventures demurely into the grand hall for some food, a huge room which is sometimes cleared for parties and the like, but is usually their dining room since there are so many of them. The ceiling curves into a dome shape, with several arched beams criss-crossing over the center, and each section has a relief carving of some part of the merfolks' proud history, otherwise known as the old times, or before humans took over the land and forced the merfolk to reside only in the deepest parts of the ocean.

Ducking his head and hiding behind his hair from the rest of his siblings, who are all there already.

"Hey human lover!" One of his sisters shouts across the room, followed by a cacophony of laughter from his other siblings around her. He cringes into himself, and rests on the furthest seat from them, taking a plate and filling it with food. All of it seems bland, now, just fish and salty sea plants, theres no sign of sweet foods like Joonmyeon gave him.

He ignores the namecalling and petty comments from his family, eating in silence as quickly as he can. Then, leaving his cutlery on the table for the serving staff to clear away, he swims back to his bedchambers, sprinting once he's out of sight. Just because he tells himself he doesn't care anymore, doesn't make it hurt less. Halfway there, he changes his mind, and heads instead to the library, thinking maybe he can read through some books about humans, but when he gets there and opens the first book, he remembers how they're all just full of bias and prejudice, and it makes him even angrier. Stewing in his pent up frustration and loneliness, he glowers at nothing in a corner of the library. 

Chen misses the sunlight, and Joonmyeon's affectionate touches. 

He returns the next day, sulkily, and scans through the shelves for something to read. Nothing springs out at him- its just a lot of very thinck scrolls about mer history and magic which he hasn't a hope of working with. He reads them anyway, in need of something to do, as he's already scouted out all the exits of the palace. All of them are guarded, which means he's stuck here, permanently, unless he can sneak out somehow. He doubts that will be as easy as it used to be.

And he'd only be caught anyway, if he doesn't have legs he doesn't have a chance of escaping.

After flicking through tome after musty tome, the edges of the paper glued together with age,he happens across something that interests him. A spell for turning merfolk into a human. For a brief, shining moment, he is ecstatic, then furious with his mother for not proceeding with it. But then he reads further. She hadn't lied, the exchange for the spell is his memories. If he became human he would forget all about Joonmyeon.

Is that really worth it? Would forgetting Joonmyeon be worth becoming human? He's not sure.

On the one hand, he'd wanted this before he even met Joonmyeon. But he was the one who showed him what was out there, opened a tiny window into the surface world. It probably wouldn't be worth it if he couldn't remember anything, he would have to relearn the language, how to walk, everything. He'd just wake up alone on some beach without knowing who he was or where he came from. No, there has to be a better way.

Frowning, he makes a list. 

1\. ~~get more magic~~  not happening any time soon

2\. find another magician?

3\. look for more information in the library

4. sneak out and go to joonmyeon even though I will probably die

 

He doesn't have much to go on, barely anything at all. But it's a start, and that's just as much as he had when he was researching humans just a month ago. Was it really so short a time? It feels like years ago. He bites his lip- a habit he picked up off Joonmyeon- and stares at his list for a while. The only thing he can think of to do right now is to find a record of all the proficient magic users in the kingdom. Most of them will be specialised, but there has to be _something_ , right?

That's what he does the next time he's there, after eating. Scouring the bookshelves, he gets down anything that looks like it might be even a little bit relevant, and scans every word, eyes tracing the flowing script of his people. He doesn't find much that he didn't already know, and it gets tiring and hard to focus on what he's reading. Everytime he feels himself slipping into a daydream, he reminds himself why he's doiong this and brings the books closer to his face until his nose is burried in it.

It takes another day and a half of searching, but eventually he happens across something he might be able to use. Well, it's not really anything definite, just a hint of a reference- a magician who was kicked out of the kingdom for using spells too strong. She'd had radical visions of reformation, which hadn't been taken to kindly by the monarchy in control at that time. His grandparents, he thinks, if the date on the book is anything to go by. She's probably still alive!

Reading on, his stomach plummets once again: the person who wrote this had no idea where she had gone. Frowning, he got his list back and wrote a new item on it:

5\. Find Sooyoun

How he's going to do that, he's not sure. But he will, he knows he will. He has to.

Every time he enters the grand hall for food, his siblings mock him. Usually it's along the lines of being a human lover, but sometimes they throw in the old insults of him being useless, from before he was even gone. He doesn't speak to anyone at all anymore, not even Yixing. He wonders if his voice even works anymore, he's too embarrassed to try talking to himself.

It's harder than he thought to find more information on Sooyoun as there's no list of banishment destinations or anything like that. And he has no one to ask either, the librarian glares at him all the time, as if his mere presence revolts her. Probably because he's a human lover. He sighs, looking over topographical maps in the dim light.

There's not much to see, really, just a lot of crevasses. She could be hiding in any of them. She might not even be anywhere near here! It's been over a hundred years since she was banished, she could be anywhere under the sea by now, or even dead. The futility of this task stares him in the face but he refuses to give up. Not yet, not when there's still a chance.

Over the next few days, he starts planning an excursion. He takes extra food during mealtimes and smuggles it to his chambers, and marks out possible places a mermaid might be able to hide in the nearby maps, bearing in mind she could be a long, long way from the palace, indeed from the kingdom itself. He'll have to swim through the village, so there is no question of wearing his crown, that's going to have to either stay here or be hidden away in a bag.

He watches the guards rounds, to see who's on duty at what time, and who'd be most likely not to see him if he sneaked past, and devises an escape route. All while avoiding everyone else in his family, especilly his mother who he hasn't even seen since he was forcibly dragged here. He thinks he has it figured out, but he waits another two days just to be sure, collecting more food still- this time only the ones that will last a while, a he discovered some disintegrating inside his bag.

As he slithers out of his chambers, when the lights are off and everyone is asleep, he feels a thrill run through him. Despite the fact that he has no idea what his mother will do to him if he's caught, this is exciting. The idea that he'll hopefully be seeing Joonmyeon again even more so.

But he worries about the magician- even if he does manage to find her, what if she says no? What if she casts him out, or worse, _kills_ him? He hopes she wouldn't do something like that, but the way the author wrote about her, she could do. But she's his only hope so, as he hides in the shadows from the guards, slipping past them without so much as a stray bubble to alert them to his presence, he steels his resolve. He'll make it back to Joonmyeon, and then they will travel the world together, just like they promised.

Once he's out of the palace grounds, he breathes a sigh of relief, then recomposes himself. He's not free yet, he still needs to get through the village without being seen, and he doesn't really know his way around here anymore. He'd come here a lot as a child, but he'd grown bored at some point, and started looking for other things further away. Like an eel, he keeps to the darkness as he swims through streets lined with coral and woven seaweed houses, with rooms that seem to float and are connected to the rest of the building only by a single precarious tube-like corridor.

No one comes out to investigate, no one even sees him. Everyone seems to be fast asleep, just as Chen had hoped. He goes faster just in case, the sooner they find he's missing, the sooner his mother will probably send the sharks after him again. He'd always been scared of those when he was younger.

Ducking underneath a particularly wayward coral establishment, he sees the edge of the village in sight, and pushes himself harder. As soon as he breaches that, then he's done it. 

Crossing the line feels like a victory over his mother, but he keeps going without stopping to celebrate, not even for a moment. If he's going to find this magician before the sharks find him, he has to be as quick as he can. Will he even be able to rest? He's not sure, he doesn't know how long it will take, or if he'll be able to find her. 

He travels through the darkest crevasses imaginable, and searches the deepest caves he's ever heard of. He forgot to bring a light, so he has to borrow some of the luminous plants' glow while he searches. But he finds nothing, not the first day, or the second, or the third day of his quest. He won't give up yet, though, he's barely started.

A few times he accidentally disturbs some sleeping creatures and is chased out, frightened.

On the sixth day, he's sick of looking in holes. He wonders how long it's been since he's seen his lover, a month? Not quite, he thinks, but it feels like longer. Why couldn't it have felt this long when he was with him? He grows depressed, travels slower and slower, barely even raising his head to check inside each cavern, not even caring that the sharks could catch him. They can have him, for all he cares, at this rate he will never see Joonmyeon again anyway so why live while knowing that?

After a while he finds less and less crevasses, and the ones he does find get smaller. This is it, he thinks, this is the end, she's not here and I'm never going to see him again. A sudden movement catches his eye, and he hones in on it, perplexed. He hasn't seen signs of life that aren't plants in a long while, why is there something here? 

It's an octopus, known to be amicable with merfolk, so he shrugs and watches it go by, walking on it's two main appendages like a human might. He supposes it can go faster that way. He finds himself jealous that even this creature is closer to being a human than he is. He sags, and the octopus stops in its tracks, and makes eye contact with him, causing him to stiffen up as if caught doing something he shouldn't. He isn't sure why, but this octopus has an air of authority. 

The octopus crawls closer to him, staring him in the eyes as it's red-brown tentacles sway ever so gently in the tide. One of them raises, and reaches out to him, touching his hand. Chen lifts his arm too, and suddenly the tentacle is winding around his arm, suction cups affixing themselves to his skin. He is alarmed but not afraid, as the octopus begins to pull him, dragging him in the direction it first came from.

"What?" His voice sounds garbled from disuse, and he coughs a few times, before repeating himself. Of course, the octopus makes no sign of having heard him, just insistently tugs him further and further. Having nothing else to do at this point, Chen easily follows, curious. 

Another crevasse comes into view, a smallish one, and Chen wonders what on earth is going on when the octopus leads him to it, and takes him down into the darkness.

A light shines from inside a cave, a little way down. Chen takes a deep breath, nerrvous all of a sudden. Is this her? Is this the magician? The octopus notices his hesitation and lightly kisses his wrist with it's suction cups, reassuring him. 

The mouth of the cave is adorned with hanging plants and pretty shells, shells that aren't from around here, and- are those human things? A knife and fork, and a submerged machine which Chen has never seen before. Of course, it could be that the person who lives here made it themself, but it looks human-made to him. It has lots of dials and things to press, and two circles on the front, and a thin rod which sticks up from on side.

As he enters, he can see a shadow of a merfolk floating just slightly above the floor. He can't see much more than a tail, a rich purple mottled with lighter lilac scales that remind him of the night sky in a way. Their hair sways untamed in a cloud around their head, longer even than his mothers- it's a wonder it doesn't get in the way. He marvels at it all, the clear boxes-clearly made by humans- filled with things he has no name for and shelves stacked with more human objects.

His hearts start to race, pounding in tandem. He's scared, he realises, he's scared that she will be bitter and resentful, and will throw him to the sharks when they come for him.

"Muneo? Back already? I thought- oh. Hello there," a thin, slightly wrinkled, mermaid emerges from the shadows, face open and welcoming, and startlingly beautiful. She wears only a selection of necklaces, falling between her breasts, a combination of both merfolk craftsmanship and human. The amalgamation of both cultures in both the way she dresses and decorates is confusing.

He thinks he might faint- if this is who he thinks she is, then she has power beyond his fathoming. The octopus doesn't let him sink, however, keeping him steady, and he is grateful.

"Now, now," she continues in her soft voice, "there's no need to be afraid," she makes no move to come closer, but tilts her head to the side, as if reading him. Maybe she is! Maybe she can see into his soul, can read what's inside his mind. 

"You are a prince, am I correct?" She asks. Chen's mouth falls open in shock.

"Y-yes,"

"My name is Sooyoun, what, may I ask, is yours?"

"Chen. It's Chen," he stammers, looking off to the side. She frowns, 

"You look like you've been in the wars, you're so thin too. Have you been eating? Let me get you something," She bustles off into the back of her cave, or should he say home?, and comes back bearing a plate laden with food, all of it fresh. He salivates, but makes no move to reach for it, just in case she's testing him or something. The octopus still holding onto him pushes him forward a little, encouragingly. Chen looks up, asking for permission, and the magician smiles warmly at him.

"Thank you," he says, formally. The boiled fish tastes different to how it does at the palace, but not bad. It burns his tongue a little, but not in a painful way, and it's puzzling. But he eats all of it, keeping his eyes only on the food. He's too nervous to look up just yet.

Once he's finished, Sooyoun takes the empty plate from him, and hands it to the octopus,

"Muneo, go clean this up for me, ok?" The cephalopod obliges, and the magician lowers herself so she's opposite him. He doesn't say anything.

"I haven't been to the merfolk kingdom in a very long time. I wonder if it hasn't changed?" She muses, seemingly to herself, "The last time I was there, I was thrown out of the council for speaking against the king. So, Chen, was it? What are you doing so far from home?"

"The palace is not my home, it was my prison," he mumbles, a pained expression on his face.

"Oh. Oh dear one, what happened?" She touches his hand, so lightly he barely feels it but the gesture is enough for him to start spilling his story to her. As he speaks, her face gradually twists into one of pity and shared pain, and when he's done, she embraces him. Shocked, Chen freezes. The action is so startlingly human that he cannot breathe, and he begins to cry.

"And I-I came to you hoping you might be able to help?" He finishes, voice hitching. Sooyeon rubs his shoulder in comfort, and Muneo the octopus crawls into his lap.

"We'll see about that, little one," she murmurs as he calms down, slowly, "I'm sure there's something that can be done," Muneo curls up against him, and he smiles a wobbly smile. 

"Thank you," 

"No need for that, I haven't done anything yet." She runs her fingers through his hair, then leaves him and Muneo to mull on their own. Muneo is surprisingly playful, wrappit it's tentacles around him in a parody of a hug and swiping at his hands when he tries to touch it's head. A little more comfortable now, he inspects his surroundings, while absently petting Muneo. 

There are a lot of tiny plants growing inside pots, and a multitude of tubes and wires a tiny little tools he can't fathom the use of. He can't see much further back in the cave, since it's so dark, but he assumes she probably sleeps back there.

He feels a little blindsided. Like all the anxiety he'd had over finding her was pointless, she isn't scary at all. He starts to wonder if she's actually as powerful as the author of that book said she was, because the only experience he has with power comes with a heavy dose of fear too, so she's either doing a brilliant job of hiding it or she has about as much magical power as he does. 

"So, tell me about Boa. Last time I saw her she was a tiny larvae, but now she's the queen, am I correct?" Sooyeon encourages him to talk more, pulling him into her side. It reminds him of how Joonmyeon used to, but it's all different at the same time. She doesn't lean into him and press her cheek against his the way Joonmyeon does, nor does she playfully nudge his tail with his leg. It hurts.

"Yes. She's the queen now, she has been for almost....thirty years?" 

"Not so long then," she muses, "forgive me for pressing you about this, I have not spoken in my mother tongue for a very long time. I miss my people but I cannot return."

"Why not? In the book I read you were sent away because you had 'radical opinions'. What does that mean?"

"It means, my dear, that I was in a situation very much like yours. Only that I was not a member of the royal family, so therefore I didn't have the protection of the monarch at the time."

"Oh," Chen's mind reels- similar situation? She had been in love with a human?

"Yes. I had a lover above the water. Everything about the situation was wrong, but I continued to visit her as often as I could anyway. Eventually I was discovered. I was banished because of it, because I thought that not all humans are corrupt and terrible. It's true, a lot of them _are_ , but some are not. After I was banished, I searched day and night for months to find a spell that would turn me into a human so I would not have to live alone. I spent seventy one years with her," her eyes look into the distance, not seeing anything before her. 

"Did you find one?" Chen breathes, hope clogging up his throat. If she did, maybe that means he could be human for Joonmyeon too. 

"I found one, but it has conditions, and it is a very difficult spell to cast. I'm sure I would be able to manage it, but there are a few things I need in order to cast it, which I don't have right now. It will take a few days to prepare, during which time I expect you to fully think about whether you want to do this, as it is irreversible,"

"Irreversible? But you're a mermaid right now..?"

"I was just coming to that part. One of the conditions of the spell is that you must return to the ocean often. When you are fully submerged in oceanic water, then you will return to your former self. The other condition is that your legs will not work the same way the rest of the humans' do. You will be lame, able to fit in but unable to walk. Is that what you really want?"

Chen stays silent for so long that she leaves him again.

He stares at the rocky ground, thinking hard. Which is more important to him, walking? Or Joonmyeon? Originally he would have said being able to walk, so he would have gladly taken the other spell, the memory loss one. But now that he's met him, he isn't sure. Would he rather stay here, able to move with relative freedom, or live above the surface? Thought the spell means he hs to swim anyway, that part doesn't matter.

Would he get upset if he couldn't walk? Almost certainly. But he thinks he could deal with it, maybe, if Joonmyeon was right by his side.

"Oh, there was one other part I forgot to mention: do you want to have all the necessary parts to become human?" Chen stares at her, confused. Of course he wants to be 100% human, if she left anything out then that would defeat the point of casting a spell, wouldn't it? He nods slowly, wondering if he's missing some kind of joke. Sooyeon smirks playfully,

"Just making sure," she chirps, leaving him more befuddled than before.

He doesn't move much while thinking, and Sooyeon bustles around him sympathetically, bringing him food occasionally. He's so grateful, and if he weren't so preoccupied with such a big decision, he's sure he would get along famously with her. Muneo crawls all over him, pressing suction cups kisses onto his cheek and being loveable, and if he does agree to this then he will miss them both dreadfully, but perhaps not as much as he misses Joonmyeon right now.

-

Chen fiddles with his bracelet, counting all the shells and pearls over and over again, and imagining Joonmyeon's warm arms around him. He sighs, catching the attention of Sooyeun,

"Chen? What's that you have there?" She asks, taking his hand and bringing the jewelry closer to see it. She touches it with reverence and treats it like a treasure the same way Chen does, and he feels a flush of warmth.

"Its something Joonmyeon gave me," he confesses. The magician nods, turning his hand over so she can see the other side.

"It's beautiful. Does he know the meaning?" Chen shakes his head, "Neither did my lover when she gave me this," she lifts one of her necklaces up. It is large, and silver, laden with tiny green gemstones.

"That's lovely too," he says, admiring the way the light catches the gems. 

"Looks like we both have gifts from our beloved," she sighs wistfully. Chen nods. 

"Do you have your crown with you? May I see it?" After Chen hands her the delicat tiara, she turns it over in her hands, looking at it from every angle.

"I hate it," Chen says, glaring at the piece of his heritage. He hates what it represents, at least, how it links him to his family and the walls that tried to keep him contained. The actual crown itself is beautiful, and it's a shame he can't look at it without being reminded of what it is. 

"That's a shame, its very lovely. Was it made especially for you, or was it handed down?"

"It was worn by someone before me, but a lot of pearls were added when I started to wear it." He points out some which differ just slightly in colour, and she hums in acknowledgement. She places it on a table beside her, behind some other things which he has found are called alarm clocks, though they don't work down here, and leaves it there. The relief he feels of having it out of his hands comes as a surprise to him, but he feels as though a heavy weight has been lifted from him.

-

"Chen, dear, come here please," Sooyeun's voice breaks through the fog of his thoughs, and he drifts over to her. She is holding out a reflective peice of material out in front of her, the surcace shiny but soft, rippling gently. He'd call it a mirror, but he has a feeling it has more to it than that.

"This is a scrying mirror," she explains, "it allows me to see anyone I know, anywhere in the world," she waves a hand over it, revealing an image of a late middle aged man with greying temples, playing with a young child. "This is my nephew, playing with his grandchildren. My lovers sister had children, and I saw them sometimes, before I could no longer hide the fact that I didn't age at the same rate as they did. I check up on him in person from time to time. He's doing well,"

"Wow," Chen sighs in awe. He watches the man pick up the tiny human, and carry it over his head, their tiny arms waggling like an anenome.

"I am showing you this because I thought you might like to see the one you are doing this for," she tells him, waving her hand over it again so it goes blank, reflecting only their faces. 

 "How? How can I see him?" 

"I cannot do it for you, as I have no connection to him you must do it yourself."

"But I have no magic," his elation drips away from him, replaced with a deepset feeling of inadequacy.

"Try it just once, you may surprise yourself," She smiles ruefully, "just think of him, Joonmyeon isn't it? Just think of him and do what I did. The mirror will do most of the work," 

Think of Joomyeon? That doesn't sound too hard, he's been thinking of him almost non-stop since they were separated. Eye screwed shut tightly, in case he fails, he focuses all his mental capabilities on the human boy, and mimics the magician's hand motion from earlier. Nervous, he cracks one eye open and gasps.

There he is, sat on the rock where he always sits when he's looking for Chen. He looks terrible, eyes lined with dark circles, and his hair is a spikey mess. He looks like he has become thinner, too. He looks like he's been crying, too, eyes red and damp looking. Chen feels like crying just looking at him. How he wishes he could reach out and hug him right now.

"See? You do have magic," she says, but her words sound hollow. Maybe she wasn't expecting the moment to be so sombre, maybe she thought seeing him would cheer him up. He's not happy about seeing him like that, but he's immensely grateful to her for sharing this with him. On an impulses, he flings his arms around her neck. 

"I'm sorry, my dear," she rubs his back up and down avoiding his dorsal fin.

-

When the time comes, another couple of days later, for him to make his decision final, he's still not sure, but he's leaning heavily towards yes. In fact, most of him is screaming _yes yes a thousand times yes_ , but there's a tiny part of him that wonders _what if...?_ too. What if Joonmyeon hates the fact that he can't walk. Would he have to carry him around places? 

"Chen? Are you ready?" Sooyoun asks him softly, carefullly. She crooks her finger and uses it to make him look her in the eye, another habit she's picked up from spending time with humans. He doesn't mind though.

"I-I think so," he stutters, trying to look behind her at everything she has prepared for him. He's truly touched that she's doing this for him, without even asking for anything in return. He wants to cry again, but not because he's sad.

"You think so? Darling, that's not quite good enough. I need a little more conviction if this is going to work." Chen nods, swallows and inhales,

"Yes. Yes I'm ready for this, I want to be human and I agree with the conditions." He declares. He still has a few niggling worries about them, but he can deal with those when the time comes.

"Good, _there_ we go," she grins, wrinkles appearing in the corners of her dark eyes "let's get started then." She ushers him back onto a seat she dragged into the centre of the room, one which looks like its been woven from some kind of plant. Gingerly, he sits on it, his tail curling around one of the legs gracefully. Anxious anticipation swells inside of him as Sooyoun picks things up and arranges them around him.

"Just relax dear," she mumbles, without even looking at him, "and try not to move too much, alright?"

She begins muttering things to herself under her breath, things he can't hear no matter how hard he strains his ears. He sits on the chair for what feels like hours, as the magician dances around him, doing things he assumes are last minute preparations, and he wants to fidget but she told him to be still so he restrains himself, sitting as still as a statue.

"Alright, all done,"

"What?" He frowns. That's it? She's done? The spell is complete? What an anticlimax.

"That's it, it's over. When you get on dry land your tail will split and you will become human, on the outside at least- you will still have two heart." She looks at his incredulous face and rests her hand on her hips, "yes, dear, that's really it. Not all magic is flashing lights and sparks you know!"

"I'm sorry," 

"No, no, don't be sorry," she laughs, gathering him in her arms again. He wonders if this is what Joonmyeon feels like when his mother hugs him. "I think I shall miss you, when you are gone, darling,"

"Me too," he mumbles, wanting to stay here a little longer.

"Tomorrow. You should leave tomorrow, after you have slept and eaten. I will give you some things to take with you on your journey, so you won't starve, and I'll point you in the right direction, alright?"

"Ok." He's at a loss for words, he's so grateful for everything she's done and doesn't know where he'd be without her. Dead, probably. "Will you get in trouble for helping me?"

"Oh, no dear, don't worry about that. I have certain precautions against being found- the only reason you got here was because Muneo brought you, and she knows where it is. Didn't you wonder why you weren't attacked by the royal sharks?"

"I kinda forgot about that," He confesses. Sooyoun chuckles, and runs her fingers through his hair again.

"Did you want to take your crown with you? Or leave it here?"

"Can I leave it with you?" 

"Yes, of course, dear."

"Thank you," a watery grin stretches across his face, "for everything."

"No need to thank me, darling,"

-

Then next morning Chen wakes up to Muneo sitting on his chest, leaving darkened ring shaped marks on his skin. He supposes this is it's way of saying goodbye, so instead of pushing the octopus to the side, he simply sits up and lets it slip onto his lap, where he pets it until it's time to go. While waiting, he watches his surrogate mother bustle around and make food for him. 

They embrace one last time, before Sooyoun faces him in the right direction,

"Go this way for as far as you can, that way you should avoid the palace grounds. Here, this should help you avoid being foud by the royal sharks," she hands him a small piece of string with a few stone beads on it, tying it around his wrist next to his keepsake from Joonmyeon.

"I can't thank you enough-" Chen starts, but Sooyoun cuts him off with a look.

"I will not hear of it, understood? Go and make me proud- remember I will be able to check up on you at any time, ok?" 

"Yes. Goodbye!" He turns and begins to swim to Joonmyeon, happiness gracing his face.


	9. Nine

Cool waves wash over Joonmyeon's ankles as they dangle in the water. He stares abesntly out to sea, thinking about the time he spent with Jongdae. It was over so soon but so much happened, so much changed, and he misses him so, _so_ much. He'd read stories and seen films about whirlwind summer romances and always scoffed at them because he thought love was something that you build up to, something that grew gradually, but with Jongdae it was nothing like he'd ever experienced before.

Will Jongdae ever come back? He doesn't know, but he finds himself sitting out here every day anyway. _Just in case_ , he tells himself. The odds are slim, but still he holds out hope. He had never realised just how lonely he was before the merman arrived on his shore, turning his life upside down. His childlike curiosity and natural happiness was contagious and telling him about everything in the human world was a delight.

He'd also made Joonmyeon question a lot of things, about both himself and humanity. Were they really that different? He'd struggled internally for what felt like eons, and slowly fallen for him. At first it had been hard to see past the dark eyes and oh so  _different-_ ness about him, but once he got used to his mottled skin and pointed teeth, he saw him for the beauty he truly was. He was breathtaking, in all honesty.

After that he'd been in a freefall, enjoying his time with Jongdae durung the daylight, but as soon as he went into his house and lay down for the night, the self hatred would kick in. It was wrong to fall for someone like him, after all, he wasn't even human. How was it even possible? Joonmyeon had no idea, and he tried to stop himself but it couldn't be done. Being asked about what love was like all the time didn't help either, it just reminded him of his confused feelings.

Sometimes he thinks he can see him, frolicking in the shallow waters, but it's just seafoam crashing over the rocks, or light glinting off the deep blue water. After the first few times his heart still jolts when he sees the mirages, but he learns to question everything, and ignore all the signs. He wonders if he's slowly going mad here, by himself. What an impact the merman had made on his life, to think that he's seeing ghosts in the water.

Weeks pass by lethargically, and Joonmyeon stares at the stars, and the sea, and doesn't feel like doing much except wish Jongdae were here with him. Each day seems to last a moment and eternity at the same time, and the heat of the late summer sun makes him drowsy. Sometimes sick and lightheaded.  He snoozes on the rocks, losing track of time coming in and out of conciousness.

"Joonmyeon?" A familliar voice emanates from somewhere he can't see. They sound worried, and Joonmyeon rubs his eyes sleepily, having been awake only a few minutes. From where he is, he can't quite see who it is shouting for him, but he has a good idea as to who it might be. Sighing, he scales the rock and wades to shore, and sure enough, there she is. 

"Sooyoung," he calls out to reassure her, and a moment later she comes bounding up to him, eyes wide with concern as she tucks wispy stray hairs behind her ear.

"Joonmyeon, are you ok? You haven't been by to buy food in a while so I got worried. No one has seen you in over a month."

"I'm fine," he placates her, unsure what to say. He doesn't want her to leave, she's is friend after all, but he doesn't want her to start asking questions he can't answer. She purses her lips, frowning as she looks him up and down.

"You look like you haven't been eating, too, are you sure you're ok? You seem ill, do you need to see the doctor?"

"No, no I'm fine- I will be fine, don't worry," he ammends when she glares at him sceptically. Sooyoung takes hold of his arm and pulls him towards his tiny house that seems even lonelier than before, and forces him to sit on the chair that Jongdae once sat in, the time when his mother was looking for him. He'd never managed to get the salt out so it was a little crusty, but he didn't mind that.

"I'm going to make you something to eat. Hopefully you actually have some food in here," she mutters to herself, opening and closing cupboards above his cooker and scouring through his tiny fridge. He fidgets, antsy with her judging the state of his home and kitchen, particularly the lack of it. He knows its barely servicable, but it has served him for a long time now. And he really doesn't have much in the way of food at the moment.

Once something is simmering inside a pot, Sooyoung turns around, absently stirring with one hand, the other resting on her hip,

"So. Why are you sitting around and doing nothing? I'd say you look like you just had a nasty breakup but you didn't have a girlfriend, so what's up? Did you get some bad news or something? Is your family alright?"

"Yes, they're fine. I'm really fine, you know. Thanks for cooking for me, but I'll be ok on my own." He promises. She shakes her head disapprovingly, setting out two bowls on the cluttered countertop, pushing back a few things to make sure they don't fall off. Joonmyeon cringes at the mess he's allowed to accumulate there.

"Fine. Don't tell me," she sighs, bringing two bowls of noodles and handing one to him, "I don't need to know the details. But I care about you, ok? My parents are worried too, so please, come by and see us soon."

"Ok. Sure," He shoves a mouthfull of noodles into his mouth, his stomach suddenly rememebering how hungry it was. He finishes the food, and Sooyoung senses that he wants more, or maybe he was being obvious in the way he way craning his neck to see if there was any more inside the pot, so she gives him another serving, not saying a word against him. 

The sun sets quicker than he expected, a single patch of yellow light pasted on the wall and purple shadows hiding under his bed. He shivers. He used to wonder what Chen did at night- sleep in the sand? But now he's probably curled up inside his bed in the palace, alone. His heart aches for both of them.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok by yourself?" Sooyoung insists, as she hovers by the door on her way out.

"Yes,"

"...I'll be back tomorrow," Sooyoung declares, staring at him as if just looking will reveal the secret he refuses to tell. Joonmyeon shrugs.

-

He's given up hope of Jongdae ever returning, after all how could he? There's no way he would be able to escape from the palace, he told him about all the guards and people watching over him. It would only be worse now that he'd been caught. He's probably stuck there forever, yet Joonmyeon still sits on the rock and watches the waves. Just in case.

Today he has brought with him a collection of shells and threads, determined to do something useful while he's out here. Weaving the shells into pretty patterns that he can sell reminds him of the merman. Heck, everything reminds him of Jongdae. He stalls with his work, sighing, and stares at the ocean again, holding out one tiny sliver of hope.

Was Jongdae ok? He hoped he wasn't being mistreated. He never spoke fondly of his family, or his home.

Something moves, in the corner of his eye, near the rocks, and for a moment his heart leaps. But it's just white water, not Jongdae. He sits down feeling incredibly stupid, and begins to cry again. Of  _course_ it wouldn't be him, he's  _gone_. How long is he going to wait for him? Forever, maybe.

-

The apparitions, as he calls them in his head, keep happening, and although he would like to ignore them, every time he sees one he feels a jolt of happiness. Only for it to be crushed once again. After the third or fourth one, he forces him to learn to ignore them, to pretend he doesn't see anything, because there isn't even anything there in the first place. It's been more than two months, and the pain in his chest has dulled to a constant ache.

He breathes deeply, stomach full of food for once, thanks to Sooyoung, and tilts his head. The way the water glistens under the sky, reflecting an always-moving column of oranges and yellows, relaxes him somehow, makes him feel serene. His eyes droop,  head lolling, and he can feel himself drifting off.

"Joonmyeon!" A cry of his name wakes him from his sleep, and he jerks, almost falling off the rock. Is Sooyoung back again? But she left not long ago, she wouldn't come back would she? He can't see her on the beach, and by now she knows he sits here during the day, so she would be somewhere they could see each other if she were trying to get his attention. He can't see her anywhere, so he puts it down to his imagination again.

"Joonmyeon! _Joonmyeon!_ " The voice comes again, and he must be imagining it because there's no way Jongdae is here, that's just not possible. He squints, wanting to make sure he's just delusional, but when his tired eyes focus he can clearly see something bobbing in the surface, making some serious headway. He waits a moment longer, eyes gradually widening, just to make _absoultely sure_ that he's not seeing things, his heart palpitating like it might leave his body.

"Jongdae?" He breathes, overcome with emotion. Is he crying? He wipes the stray moisture from his face and stands up precariously, waving. Is it really him? Not willing to waste a moment, he jumps into the water with a loud splash and kicks off his flip flops, throwing them back onto the rock before swimming out to meet him. Water fills his mouth as he flails, going slowly but surely.

The moment Jongdae is within arms reach he grabs onto him, squeezing him so tightly he probably can't breathe but Joonmyeon has to, he has to convince himself this is real. Jongdae's arms wrap around him in turn and Joonmyeon thinks he must really be crying because Jongdae is pulling back, concerned, but he just clings onto him, using Jongdae's buoyancy to keep him afloat. He wraps his legs around his body, ankles linking behind his tail.

"Joonmyeon, I missed you so much!" Damp hands tangle into his drenched hair and tug him closer, until their lips are connected and they're kissing. It's awkward- they keep sinking under the water and and resurfacing, gasping for air (in Joonmyeon's case) but neither of them are willing to stop. Even though Joonmyeon can barely see what he's doing, and the saltwater is getting in his eyes, that all fades into the background as Jongdae holds him close.

Suddenly Jongdae pulls away, rememering that the human has to breathe. Joonmyeon happliy sucks in gulps of air, still clinging onto the merman like his life depends on it.

"Jongdae! I missed you so much! How did you get out? I thought you were trapped! I was so worried about you!" Joonmyeon gushes, spluttering and stammering like a fool. Jongdae smiles at him, his sharp teeth bared in unbridled joy at being reunited,

"I ran away!" He announces, skin glistening. 

"You _ran away?_  And you weren't caught!?"

"No, I wasn't. Sooyoun helped me- she is a magician." Jongdae makes the face he makes when he has something to tell him, eyes crinkled and sparkling and lips pressed together to stop him from smiling too much.

"A what? What did she do?" 

"She cast a spell on me! Let me show you!" He shouts breathlessly, manhandling Joonmyeon so he's clinging onto his back and riding him to the shoreline. Joonmyeon stares down at the merman's long black, slightly curly hair, as he rides his back, admiring how it sticks to his damp skin. When they reach shallow waters, Joonmyeon hops onto the wet sand, feeling the granules between his bare toes. 

Expecting Jongdae to wallow in the warm waters, Joonmyeon is surprised when Jongdae asks for his hand and gets him to drag him onto the sand. He doesn't question him though, just pulls him further and hopes he has some explanation for wanting to suffocate himself again. He can easily pick him up and carry him back if he needs to.

"Just watch," Jongdae says, crawling a little further and rolling onto his back. His tail is gorgeous in the sun, a pale, almost floral shade of pink that melts into his skin about where his bellybutton might be if he were human, and his tail fins are translucent. They don't look so great out of the water, in the same way that a beached jellyfish doesn't look nearly so beautiful dead on the beach, but he's seen glimpses of it while he was swimming, drifting behind him like lace.

"Watch what?" He frowns, starting to worry. Did something happen? Is he ok? He wrings his hands together, waiting for something to happen.

"Augh!" Jongdae suddenly cries out, back arching against the ground. Joonmyeon reaches out to help, or _something_ , as Jongdae's mouth opens in surprise. What he intended to do he didn't know, all he can do is kneel frantically beside him as the merman convulses and jerks.

"Jongdae what's wrong?" 

"Nothin-ng, ahh, I'm turning human- look!" He points down at his tail, and sure enough the scales are softening, melting into one another and spreading, morphing into skin. His whole tail is flattening, stretching and it's horrifying to watch but morbidly fascinating to see it split down the middle, trails between each appendage like the cheese strings when you pick up a piece of pizza. Joonmyeon feels vaguely sick but a whole lot amazed.

He can't even think straight. Is he hallucinating? Maybe this whole entire thing is just a figment of his imagination- maybe he's dreaming! Subtley, he pinches his thigh to make sure and it hurts so this  _must_ be real. Right? 

Joonmyeon can do nothing but watch in awe as a pair of lithely muscled legs appear, complete with small angular feet and not a whole lot longer than his own, for which he is grateful. He does his best to avoid looking at what lies _between_ his legs, but from subtle glances he discerns it to be hairless like the rest of his body. He desperately hopes he knows what it is otherwise there is going to be one hell of an awkward conversation. Before Jongdae can ask anything, he cuts in first,

"How did this happen? This...this is amazing, Jongdae." The human breathes, teary eyed. He's-  _somehow_ he's _human_. How is this even possible? He can't comprehend it, even though he just watched the transformation right before his eyes, he still clings onto the idea that this is all just a dream. He reaches out to touch, fingertips hovering over Jongdae's new skin, needing to see if it's real.

His skin is warm to the touch and as pale as the rest of his body,

"It's real. I'm really- really human." Jongdae stares down at his own legs like a blind man seeing the world for the first time. But he doesn't try to move yet, which Joonmyeon understands. It would probably be disorientating if his legs turned into a tail too.

"This is amazing. Jongdae, this is wonderful!" He lunges for him, wrapping his arms around his torso and squeezing him close. He laughs, the sound like music to his ears, but the sound is cut short and Jongdae pushes him away slightly,

"I didn't tell you an important thing." He says seriously, worry creeping into his angular features, "my legs- they're real but..." He trails off, frustrated, 

"What about your legs?" Joonmyeon asks, stroking calming circles into his still-damp back. There's no trace of his dorsal fin anymore and it's quite surreal.

"They are not good. I mean, I can't walk with them."

"What?" Joonmyeon tilts his head to the side, "Can't  _walk_ on them? Why not?" Jongdae cringes slightly, and Joonmyeon apologises for almost shouting,

"Because that is the spell. I can be human, people will see me as human but I cannot walk,"

Oh. Joonmyeon thinks. Well, that puts a spanner in the works- wheelchairs and things that he would need are going to be expensive, and he's not sure if he really has the money to pay for that. Jongdae certainly can't pay for one, he has even less money than he does. 

"I'm sorry," Jongdae whispers, breaking Joonmyeon's heart a little at how small he sounds, "I understand if you don't like me anymore," 

"What? No! What on earth gave you that idea?" He asks, shocked. He cups Jongdae's cheek and makes him look at him properly, "Jongdae, I wasn't lying when I said I love you. Whether you are merman, or human of _any kind_ , I will still love you. Got that?" Jongdae nods and gives him a wobbly smile, eyes watering and tears dripping over his cheeks. He gasps, wiping them away in fascination, and Joonmyeon can't keep himself from tearing up a little too.

They cry together, clinging onto each other and not letting go for what feels like hours, just breathing and talking.

After a while, Jongdae starts to shiver- Joonmyeon had wondered about that, that merfolk must have more immunity to the cold than humans. He exhales loudly,

"Looks like it's time to get you inside," he huffs, crouching down and slipping his arms underneath his back and legs. It's like how they first met but so,  _so_ different at the same time. Jongdae does his best to make it easy for Joonmyeon to carry him, slinging his arms around his neck and willing himself to be lighter. It's no use, but he isn't really  _that_ heavy, not as a human anyway. He'd only said that last time to tease him.

When they get inside, Joonmyeon puts him down on his chair and immediately sets about finding something to warm him up. He rummages through his drawers for something to give him to wear, something that isn't dirty or embarrassing, not that he would understand it if it were. Eventually he comes up with an old pair of sweats and a knitted jumper which he normally has no reason to wear.

Joonmyeon helps him put it on, showing him how to dress himself and helping manoeuvre his legs into the sweats. When he looks up, Jongdae is gleefully patting the knitted fabric, and stroking the collar. He looks so happy, if his legs worked they'd probably be swinging back and forth like a kid.

"I like these," he says, referring to the clothes. 

"I'm glad," Joonmyeon stands up to get a better look. For some reason they look just a little baggy on him but that's ok, Jongdae doesn't mind, in fact that probably makes them better for him, since he's not used to wearing them. He looks sweet, sat there in his human clothes.

"Thank you, Joonmyeon," he singsongs.

"You're welcome," he smirks, "Budge up, I want to sit down too," he pushes Jongdae over and squeezes in next to him. The chair is big, but not quite big enough for both of them, so the choices are to either be squished, or for one of them to sit on the other. Joonmyeon hums, then lifts Jongdae onto his lap, tying him in place with his arms around his waist. Jongdae giggles at this, linking their hands together. 

"So tell me about this magician, then."  Joonmyeon insists, chin resting comfortably on the boys shoulder. 

"Sooyoun? She is lovely and I think like my mother. She is like how you said your mother is. And she was a human too! She was not allowed from the palace because she thinks you...we are not bad. She had a human lover also." 

"She had a human lover? What happened to him? "

"She was a girl. She died a long time ago."

"Oh. That's sad." Joonmyeon frowns. Merfolk live for a lot longer than humans after all. He wonders what it must be like to stay young and watch the ones you love grow old and die. He's sure his heart wouldn't be able to take it.

"It is. " he sighs. "She had Muneo, an octopus."

"She has a pet _octopus_!? Wow." The only octopus he's ever seen was at a zoo and it was a sullen looking creature. Perhaps that was because it was in a glass box. 

"Yes, it was friendly and gave me kisses, but not like you do." He teases, turning around and kissing his forehead. 

"I should hope not. No one can give you that kind of kiss except for me, ok?" Joonmyeon says, nuzzling into his neck. Jongdae laughs again, the sound makes Joonmyeon swoon all over again. He's still reeling from his sudden arrival, he's not sure how many more surprises he can take so he hopes Jongdae doesn't come out with any other shockers. Jongdae's stomach growls, and Joonmyeon can feel it vibrate under his hands.

"You hungry? I'll get you something, gimme a sec," he promises, getting out from under him and heading over to his cabinets. He realy hopes he actually has some food inside, as he hasn't made much for himself since Jongdae left. That all feels really stupid now- what if he had starved to death, and Jongdae came back to find a malnourished corpse? He shudders. It doesn't bear thinking about.

Inside the cupboards, luckily, there is planty of food. It would seem as though Sooyoung was keeping him stocked up with food without him even knowing about it. He cringes, making a mental note to thank her next time she comes round. Actually, how is he going to explain Jongdae's sudden appearance when she does? It's something he will have to think about, but he won't dwell on it now.

"You want rice?"

"Yes, thank you." Jongdae replies, sat patiently on the chair, his legs looking slightly uncomfortable, since he can't move them himself. Joonmyeon purses his lips and crouches down next to him,

"Here, this might be more comfortable." He folds his legs into the indian position. "There, any better?" He asks, staring up at the new human and patting his knee. He wonders if he can feel it, and is just unable to move them, or if he's completely paraplegic. He doesn't seem to have much of a reaction when he touches hmim. It doesn't make sense to Joonmyeon how he can't move his legs when he can swim perfectly well, and his legs  _look_ like they should work perfectly fine but he isn't a magician, nor merfolk, so he wouldn't know anyway.

"A little," Jongdae shrugs. Joonmyeon sighs,

"Ok, well, I'll go back to making the rice, ok?" He heaves himself to his feet, not missing the way Jongdae watches him, and the sad look in his eyes when he thinks Joonmyeon isn't looking. Biting his tongue, he gets on with the food, chopping some vegetables and using a jar of sauce for convenience. As he is stirring the sauce, he hears an  _oof_ sound from behind him. Turning around in worry, he almost drops his spoon when Jongdae isn't where he left him.

"Jongdae!" He cries, laying a hand over his heart. The man has crawled over to Joonmyeon's tiny bed, and is closely examining all the photos on the wall. 

"What?" Jongdae turns around, the picture of innocence. Joonmyeon shakes his head, and mutters for him to be careful, before going back to the cooking. He still keeps an eye on him, though.

They eat together fairly quietly, Jongdae occasionally telling him about something that happened while he was with the magician. He's a little embarrassed to hear that he saw him moping through a magic mirror but get's over it with minimal blushing. He's fascinated by the fact that she collected human 'artifacts' and used them as decorations. He imagines a bouquet of knives and forks, and smirks to himself at the funny idea.

After Joonmyeon washes the dishes, they huddle up together in the bed, under the covers. Their limbs tangle together and Jongdae insists on removing some of his clothes as he's sure he'll get too hot. Joonmyeon helps him out of them obligingly, and curls up next to him. Jongdae doesn't seem to even be sleepy, and his restlessness is keeping Joonmyeon awake too. Not that he's that tired either.

In fact, he has the urge to do something, something he's been missing while Jongdae was gone. Should he? Maybe he should just wait until another day, after all he still won't be used to his human body yet. Maybe...maybe just a little bit would be fine. 

"Jongdae?" He whispers, his hushed voice disturbing the quiet of the dusk. Jongdae turns his head to face him and Joonmyeon doesn't miss how his eyes flick to his lips just for half a second. Well, he thinks smugly, maybe it's _not_ too soon for this after all. He leans forward, curling a hand over Jongdae's neck to bring him closer, and captures his lips.

Its slow to start, loving and sweet as they mesh their lips together, but soon the temperature between them rises when Joonmyeon rolls over so he's lying on top, between the other man's legs. Jongdae's fingers are buried in his short hair as he gently bites his lower lip, coaxing a low moan out of him. His reactions are so enchanting, it's easy to forget sometimes that he has very little experience of anything to do with this.

Even his teeth have changed, Joonmyeon notes, as he licks into his mouth. Jongdae sighs, grip almost painful on his hair. Is this too much for him? He tries so slow down a bit, tone down the crackles of electricity sparking over their skin as though desire were a living, breathing thing, but Jongdae doesn't let him. Instead, he pulls him closer, eagerly inviting his tongue inside.

Joonmyeon instinctively grinds down on him, answering the question he'd had earlier about whether he's able to feel anything on his new appendages. Jongdae emits the most delicious moan, and Joonmyeon swallows all of it, breath juddering. He can't, as much as he would love to keep  going, it's too soon to go this far. Pulling away, he stares into Jongdae's glazed eyes, barely visible in the low light. His lips are pinker than before, and he looks a little out of it. Definitely time to stop, they can build up to this.

He flops down next to him, and moves Jongdae so he's got his back against Joonmyeon's chest.

"Next time, maybe." He whispers, lips moving just next to Jongdae's ear. He feels him shiver in his arms.

"Why not now?" Jongdae whines, making the older human laugh. Rather than reply, he simply says goodnight, and snuggles closer, pulling the covers up over them both. Once settled, Joonmyeon finds himself drifting off to sleep, more content than he's been in what feels like forever. With the person he loves in his arms, be they human or otherwise, he can finally sleep peacefully.

"I love you, Joonmyeon." Jongdae murmurs, barely coherent. Joonmyeon's heart blooms,

"I love you too, Jongdae,"

-

The morning is warm, too warm, stiflingly so. Jongdae is squirming in Joonmyeon's arms, unable to escape his boiling deathgrip. Only half conscious, he extracts himself sluggishly and rolls off the edge of his bed and onto the floor, bringing the covers with him. Jongdae gasps at the sudden rush of cool air, and Joonmyeon almost falls back asleep, rolled up in the covers like a caterpillar.

It's Jongdae's third day as a human, and he's getting a little restless. Joonmyeon needs to figure out a way to get him around without carrying him, as it's just not practical. For the time being, Jongdae can sit on the beach and not mind, but he desperately wants to leave the beach and go visit the rest of the island's inhabitants.

The best thing would be to get him a wheelchair, but they're so expensive. Even if he could afford one, it would probably take a long time to get here. He needs to find something they can use until they can do that. Something that's won't shatter his dignity, he's not going to drag him around on a rug unless they're truly desperate. Maybe he'll have to leave him here so he can ask around in the town for a some ideas. Ahh, but then they'll ask why he wants to know, on an island this small people are always inquisitive, always trying to find out as much as they can.

It's a wonder they leave him be on this tiny beach, to be honest. He sighs, not really wanting his or Jongdae's privacy to be invaded, but it might be his only option at the moment. 

He gets up, unrolling himself from the blankets and wandering dazedly to the kitchenette to start making some breakfast. Jongdae lies flat on his- _their_ \- bed behind him, fanning himself with the t-shirt he's borrowing. Well, he could always phone his mum, but he said he wouldn't ask her for money, he promised that he wouldn't need to. And he would be asking a lot to buy a wheelchair, especially one of those fancy ones with the motors and things. Jongdae could probably deal with one you have to push by hand, maybe that would bring the cost down, but he wants to give him the best he can. 

Could he sell anything? He doesn't really have much, as the bracelets he makes sometimes don't even bring him enough to pay for food. He works odd jobs during the year, painting things and building things for the villagers, but they don't pay all that much either. It's not that kind of community, really. But, he thinks, as he rummages around in the fridge looking for leftovers, they'd all be willing to help them think of something to help Jongdae get around. 

"Jongdae? Would you like to meet the villagers soon?" He asks, rubbing his eyes. Jongde's answer is almost certainly going to be yes, he doesn't know why he even asked. He's been waiting for Sooyoung to come back to check on him, hoping maybe he could ease him into socialising with humans more but that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon so he's going to have to take the initiative this time.

"Yes!" 

"I thought so. Well, I'd love to, but first I need to think of a way to get you over there, since I can't carry you that far. It's awful, but I think I'm going to have to leave you here for a day or so, so I can get some help figuring out... _something_."

"Oh. Ok." Jongdae sounds a lot less happy now, and Joonmyeon hates to be the cause of his sadness, but it's for his benefit in the long run, so he can't change his mind. 

"I'll go today. Do you want to stay in here, or go out to the sea?"

"Can I sit outside?"

"All day? Are you sure? You might get sunburn," Joonmyeon worries, arranging all the things he found for Jongdae to eat while he's out on a tray, "I'll leave you with some food, so you don't get hungry, but are you sure you'll be alright?"

"Yes, if I am in the shade. I'll be fine, Joonmyeon, don't worry," his smile isn't one of his usual ones, not the kind that lights up his face and takes his breath away, so Joonmyeon doesn't believe him. But it's the only thing they can do, right now.

"Here," he hands him his breakfast, and they eat quietly, the mood suddenly somber at the thought of not spending the day together.

After kissing Jongdae goodbye, Joonmyeon starts the trek to the other side of the island, following an overgrown trail which is partially hidden by the folliage but well trodden enough to see where he should put his feet. It winds a bit, back tracking on itself to get up the cliff, and it's tiring work. It makes him glad he brought a drink, as he'd forgotten just how strenuous a walk this was. By the time he reaches the village he's sweating buckets.

He heads up the main street, also known as the only street with shops on it, and goes straight into the grocery store, owned by Soouyoung's parents. Her old man is at the counter today, which probably means her mother is doing some heavy lifting around the back, as always. He has no idea where Sooyoung herself might be. Probably out taking care of someone else that needs help.

The man is a frail thing, but very intuitive. As soon as they catch eyes across the store, he knows something is up.

"So how can I help you today, young man?"

"Well, I was hoping I could ask for some help. From you or anyone," Joonmyeon says, a little shy now. He hopes he hasn't misjudged the local residents, that they really are as friendly and selfless as they seem. He fidgets for a moment,

"And what might that be, I wonder?" The middle aged man leans across the wooden countertop, always ready for gossip of any kind. Joonmyeon decides being blunt is probably the best approach.

"I need to make a wheelchair,"

"Hmm," he frowns, scraggly eyebrows pulling together into one single line. "I can't think how we'll manage that. Maybe Sooyoung can ask the line how to do it," he suggests, "or we could nail wheels to a chair, but I get the feeling that isn't quite what you had in mind."

"You mean look it up online, right? I guess I could do that. I don't know if that would be safe," he muses. Another consideration he hadn't thought of before is that it needs to work on sand. Lots of vehicles struggle with driving on soft ground, maybe what he really needs is an industrial car, with those bands that wrap around the lower parts, like diggers. 

"Yes, that. What do you need a wheelchair for, if you don't mind me asking?" his magnificent eyebrows raise, and Joonmyeon nods his head. 

"I have someone who needs one," he says mysteriously, "Where is Sooyoung, by the way? I should go ask her, you're right."

"Oh, now, you can't just leave me with that!" He cries, burning with curiosity, "You're making a wheelchair for someone? Who? Do I know them? Are you having a visitor soon? Tell, me Joonmyeon, please, go on," 

"No, I couldn't do that," he smiles serenely, backing out of the shop and into the sunlight. Sooyoung's father watches him with pleading eyes every step of the way, not giving him any clues as to where his daughter might be. Luckily this place isn't so big that he could just lose her. She'll be around here somewhere. While he waits for her to show up, he decides to try asking around for more help.

-

He comes across Sooyoung around lunch time, on his way to the only cafe in the village. It's a quaint little thing, with a wooden ceiling fan and small windows. They meet just outside the entrance, and she looks very surprised to see him,

"Joonmyeon! What are you doing out of your little hole?" She teases, inviting him to sit with her.

"Well, actually I was hoping you could help me,"

"What, you mean cooking your meals almost every day for two months wasn't enough?" He cringes, but she isn't serious so he goes ahead with his request.

"I need to make a wheelchair. Safely." He says, scanning the menu by the door. She makes a face at him,

"Why? You don't need one, do you? You've been awfully weird lately, just saying." 

"Not for me, no." He admits, with an awkward laugh, Everyone is interested in who this wheelchair could be for and he's been having to come up with deflections all day. It's grating on him, but he thinks maybe Sooyoung could meet him without telling everyone else within hours.

"Then who?" She purses her lips, staring at him quizzically. Sooyoung has lived here almost all her life, so she's just as part of the gossip train as everyone else living on this peice of rock so it's only natural that she would be curious. He waits for the food to arrive before he says anything else, and Sooyoung doesn't say anything either but he can feel her glaring at him.

"Maybe I'll introduce you some time. But before that it's really important that I can get hold of a wheelchair for him. He can't get around by himself if he doesn't have one." He hopes Jongdae is ok back on the beach. He wonders what he's up to, and if he's lonely. He hates having to leave him like this, and wants to get back to him as soon as he can. 

Sooyoung gets out her phone, a huge touchscreen thing- Joonmyeon only has an old landline back in his house- and types something into it. After a pause, she frowns, 

"I don't think there's a way to make one without, like, specialised equipment. Now will you _please_ tell me who this is for?"

"No, can you look up the prices for ordinary ones, please?"

"Ok, ok," she mumbles, going back to her phone. Joonmyeon hasn't really used a touchscreen phone much before, he kinda left that stuff behind when he moved here. He thought he was being spiritual and embracing freedom, but really, it was about isolation. But that's irrelevant now, he's had enough of being alone.

"Well, some of them are extremely expensive," Sooyoung warns, eyebrows raised so far they're hidden in her hair, "but there are some which are cheaper. They don't look good though. Like, there's the kind you get in hospitals, those ones are the cheapest, but they wouldn't really work around here. But then, they're foldable so maybe it would be ok. Can this guy walk at all?"

"No, not at all. I could probably carry him a little ways if need be. How much is the cheapest one?"

"About 100000krw, oh! There's one which is designed for rough terrain- but it's over 500000krw. Can you afford any of that?"

"I don't know, maybe the first one."

"We could do a fundraiser. I'm sure if we met the guy, everyone would be willing to donate a little to the cause," she winks, still trying to get him to spill the details. He shakes his head. It's not a bad idea, but he can't get him here by himself,

"Nahh, I'm pretty sure I could afford the cheapest one there, I thought they were all going to be really expensive, but I can deal with 100000krw. I have that much to my name. How do I order one?" He asks, leaning over her shoulder to see what she's doing. It's an annoying procedure, which he hasn't done in a long while, so he needs to be reminded how to do everything.

But once it's done he feels jubilant: in just a few weeks Jongdae will be able to get around on his own. He's low on savings now, but it's worth it. Hopefully Jongdae will be able to visit the village soon, and then the rest of the world, with Joonmyeon by his side. He smiles at the table, imagining Jongdae's reaction to all the things he's going to get to see.

"You seem a lot better all of a sudden, actually." Sooyoung interrupts his thoughts. Startled, he looks up to see her watching him fondly, and he blushes at being caught daydreaming like that. 

"Yeah. If you come visit me tomorrow, I'll show you the reason why. Bye!" He says, standing up and getting ready to go back, ignoring her whining about 'why not today'. This gives him enough time to think of an excuse for his sudden appearance, he thinks, hurrying back to where Jongdae awaits.

 


	10. Ten

Jongdae can't handle the heat, it's just _so_ hot with the sun bearing down on him like this. He lazes around in the shade, unable to move far anyway, during most days with Joonmyeon, wallowing in the water. In some ways, he desperately misses being able to move his lower half, but the rest of his mind reminds him the reason he chose this. He can do it, he _knows_ he can, so he stays out of the water.

Being alone for the first time he became human sucked, and the moment Joonmyeon came into view, ambling down the treacherous pathway, Jongdae almost melted with joy. Joonmyeon ran straight to him, and picked him up so they were at eye level with their chests pressed against each other and kissed him, and his laughter was contagious.

That was yesterday. Now, Jongdae is lying in their bed and staring up at the ceiling as Joonmyeon makes breakfast for them, humming to himself. His voice is so sweet and lyrical, and he would be happy to listen to him sing all day long. Jongdae's human vocal cords don't work the same way as they did when he was a merman, so his singing doesn't sound right to his ears. Joonmyeon thinks the world of him, however, so he promises to sing more often regardless, if it makes him happy.

"I think Sooyoung is meeting us today," Joonmyeon says offhandedly. Jongdae sits up so quickly he careens forward and falls flat on his face, much to the amusement of Joonmyeon, who comes to rescue him not a moment later.

"Sooyoung is coming? I can meet her?"

"Yep," Joonmyeon promises, hands resting on his shoulders. He worries his lip, and Jongdae frowns- what's wrong? Is he scared they won't get along? Or maybe something worse than that,

"I need to think of an explanation. Of how you suddenly appeared in my house- she would have seen you if you arrived here the normal way, by boat. I don't know what to say." He confesses, and Jongdae understands. He has no idea what to say either.

This is a big problem.

"Maybe ...I came here by swimming?" He suggests, one corner of his mouth tilted down. Joonmyeon snorts at this,

"Jongdae you can't move your legs at all, how is anyone going to believe that you swam so far? It's a long way to the mainland, and you can't tell anyone you're a merman,"

"Oh." He feels stupid. Sympathetically, his boyfriend ruffles his hair, making him pout and glare up at the ceiling- that's something that adults do to children, so he's being mean to him! Treating him like a child.

"Oh, don't be like that, sweetie," he coos, cupping his jaw and pulling his face closer to his own, "I'm just teasing, ok? I think whenever she asks, we'll just have to change the subject," He says, thumb stroking in curves over his cheek. Jongdae's eyes are drawn to how his lower lip is still caught between his teeth, and they're so close his warm, human smell is filling his nose and making him feel like he's flying. His eyes flutter shut, and he just _knows_ Joonmyeon is leaning in too, and their mouths touch and-

"Joonmyeon?" Someone calls out, then there's a knocking on the door. Suddenly Joonmyeon's on the other side of the tiny room and Jongdae is careening forwards again, only this time no one is there to save him. He watches jealously as the ebony haired man opens the door to a girl with long dark hair and invites her inside, offering her the seat that he'd been thinking of as _his_ for a while now. 

The girl, Sooyoung, spots him immediately and makes no effort to hide the fact that she's peering over Joonmyeon's shoulder to see him. It makes him feel exposed somehow, and he makes sure his legs are covered up so she can't see them. He's not quite sure why he feels the compulsion to hide himself, but he can't ignore it, and uses the duvet as cover. She makes herself comfortable on the chair, after kicking off her shoes, and brings her legs up so they're folded to the side, her socked feet peeking out from under the open arm of the chair.

"Sooyoung. This is Jongdae."

"Hello Jongdae!" She almost shouts, pronouncing every word extra carefully. Jongdae looks to Joonmyeon in confusion, only to find him wincing slightly. He raises his eyebrows and stares at the floor for a moment, before offering her something to drink. Once she asks for a can of pear juice- she knows he has some, she saw him buy them the other day- he leaves them for a moment to get it.

"So, Jongdae. Where did you come from?" 

"I don't-" Jongdae stutters, unable to tell her anything that's not a lie. Luckily, Joonmyoeon swoops in once again to save the day, handing Sooyoung her drink and perching on the bed next to Jongdae and letting their shoulders touch slightly. It's more comforting than Joonmyeon probably realises, and he'd never thought he would be this shy.

"Oh, he's not from around here," 

"I figured that out," she laughs, taking a sip and looking knowingly at how close they are. Jongdae wonders, does she know? She has the eyes of someone who knows everything, but how can she? There's no way she can know about him, he assures himself, sneaking his hand over the sheets until his little finger is crossed with Joonmyeon's under the cover of the duvet.

"Yeah, Jongdae is kinda secretive, to be honest I'm lucky that I know as much about him as I do," He smiles serenely. Sooyoung nods slowly, sipping her drink and Jongdae realises she doesn't believe a word. She's eyeing him in a way that makes him feel like she can read his mind, and even as he thinks that, she raises her eyebrow.

"How did you get here?" She asks, and Joonmyeon stiffens beside him. 

"It's a secret," Jongdae answers. Sooyoung takes another sip of her juice and Jongdae wonders if all women are scary and otherworldly like this, like his mother and the magician. All he knows is women who have immense magical power and tremendous talent, and no doubt this one is the same. Even though she is human, and humans don't have access to magic, she almost certainly must have powers he doesn't understand. He shivers, and leans against Joonmyeon more for support.

"Are you the reason Joonmyeon didn't eat for two months?" She says casually, but the words send Jongdae's stomach plummeting into a spiral of guilt. How can he answer that? He doesn't want to lie to Joonmyeon's friend, but he doesn't want to remember all the time he left Joonmyeon alone. Before he has the chance to fall into a state, Joonmyeon's arm slinks around his waist,

"He was the reason, but not the cause. It wasn't his fault, and he's here to stay now, so don't give him a hard time."

"Ok, fine." She says, but Jongdae gets the feeling that this isn't over yet. She's probably going to put him through some kind of test to prove his worth, and if he fails that...well, what has he got to live for? He makes up his mind right then and there that he's going to do everything he can to make her believe that he's good for Joonmyeon, and that he isn't just leeching off his kindness and being a burden. Even if sometimes he doesn't quite believe it himself.

"So, Jongdae is the reason you need to get wheelchair. _He's_ your big secret? I don't know why, but I was expecting something bigger,"

"You mean, you didn't expect there to be a person in need of a wheelchair?" Joonmyeon squints at her, amused at how she flusters,

"No, no. I mean, I thought it would be like a big reveal, but he's just...a guy"

"That's fine, Jongdae doesn't need to be anything amazing, I still-" he cuts off mid sentence to look at him, tenderly gazing into his eyes,"I still love him," 

"Ok. Gross. If you're both going to be doing that, then I'm out," Sooyoung threatens to stand up, but Joonmyeon stops her in time, laughing loudly and flapping his hands. Perhaps that was the test, seeing how he reacted to being accused of making him sad. He hopes he passed, whatever it was. 

"We won't miss you," Joonmyeon winks at her, and she shakes her head, sipping more of her juice to hide her smirk. "But yeah, Jongdae is just a guy in need of a wheelchair, that's all. I hope you two get along, because right now, you're my favourite people in the world. Besides my mother."

A flood of emotion rushes through Jongdae, the names of which he can't pinpoint. He's told him that he loves him before a myriad of times, but it hadn't quite settled into his mind what that meant, that he was number one until now. He feels his eyes stinging, and throat constricting, signs he had learnt that meant he was about to cry. Joonmyeon notices his reaction and soothes him by rubbing his back softly. He doesn't even understand why he feels this strongly, but he just wants to hug Joonmyeon until they became one being for eternity. He couldn't do that, though, not with someone watching.  

"That's really touching, but also gross."

"Suit yourself, Sooyoung," Joonmyeon teases, and then the atmosphere goes back to normal- just three  friends hanging out in a beach house. Sooyoung talks to him like she doesn't even care that he can't walk, and the fact that she is talking to him like that at all makes flowers bloom in his heart. She doesn't seem nearly so scary as before, as if she's let down her guard in front of him.

Half an hour later, Joonmyeon has left them alone for a bit so he can prepare food, and even though he's just a few meters away, it's like he and Sooyoung are in their own personal bubble. She sits next to him on the bed, where Joonmyeon was before, and leans back against the wall. By now, he is comfortable enough around her to have his legs half uncovered, and he leans against the wall beside her, back pressing up against the photos pasted there.

"You know, all this time I've known Joonmyeon, and I never even caught on that he's gay. But, seeing him in his natural habitat, so to speak, it just sort of...makes sense." Sooyoung sighs, staring at Joonmyeon's back as he mixes something in a bowl. Jongdae has to agree, his boyfriend is just right, and there's something about the lines of his shoulders and back that he really likes. Sooyoung glances at him from the corner of her eye,

"So," she nudges him playfully, "have you done it yet?"

"Done what?" Jongdae wrinkles his nose. They've done lots of things, which specific thing is she asking about?

"Y'know. _It_." She laughs, bemused. There must be some kind of human thing that she's referring to, but he doesn't know what.

"I don't understand," he frowns, making Sooyoung stare at him quizzically. He cringes, as a normal person would probably know exactly what she means, but he just has no idea. And he doesn't get the chance to ask, as just a moment later Joonmyeon places a bowl of rice and curry in his lap. But even as Joonmyeon and Sooyoung tease each other about things they've done in the past, and mistakes they've made, Jongdae is quiet, wondering what she meant earlier. He has a lot to learn in order to fit in with his new kind.

Once Sooyoung has left, Jongdae is still thinking hard about how much he still has to learn about being human- will he ever catch up to the rest of them?- that he doesn't notice Joonmyeon coming closer until his knees are braced either side of his waist. He looks up in surprise, jolted out of his deep thought,

"What's up?" Joonmyeon asks, stroking his cheek with the back of his knuckles. The warm contact makes him forget what he was thinking about for a moment, and all he can do is stare up at his boyfriend, stars in his eyes. 

"Did Sooyoung say anything to you? She can be a bit nosey sometimes. Well, pretty much everyone here is nosey, it's like one of the criteria for living here."

"She asked me if we did 'it'." Joonmyeon's response is not that surprised. 

"That sounds like her. She means sex," he says, sitting on his calves and watching Jongdae carefullly. Jongdae thinks back to the time when he asked what that word meant- he hadn't gotten much of an answer from him, just that it was something that people did when they were very close. In some cases. That wasn't very specific.

"Oh. Well, we haven't done that, have we?"

"Nope," Joonmyeon smirks and takes Jongdae's hands, interlocking their fingers together and letting them rest on his lap, then sighs, "I think. Now would be a good time for you to have a sex education lesson,"

"Ok..?" Jongdae tilts his head to the side. Sex is something people have lessons about? That's intriguing. 

"Alright. Sexual intercourse. Ok." Joonmyeon bits his lip, "Where to start." He ponders. He jumps up, searching for something underneath his bed and comes up with a tattered pad of paper, and a half blunt pencil, then draws several pairs of stick people. For three of them he adds a triangle over the legs, and explains that that means they're female because girls wear skirts.

He points at the female plus male pairing.

"These two can make children," then he points to the others, "these guys can't, without help, because they are the same."

"Ok." Jongdae nods, digesting this information and waiting for him to continue. Obviously there's more to this than just that, or he wouldn't have refused to talk about it before.

"Right. Well, back to these ones. For them, it's a simple matter of putting- hm. Maybe I should do an anatomy lesson first," Joonmyeon muses, face turning a pretty shade of pink.

"Anatomy?" Jongdae is curious. Why does this make him embarrassed? 

"Um, well, you got new parts of your body when you transformed, right?" Jongdae nods, "I guess you know one, erm, _use_ of it. But it's also used in reproduction. Argh, I'm doing such a bad job of explaining this. If I had internet then I could just find you a video or something."

"What's internet?" 

"Um, like an electronic network that- that's beside the point. Anyway, a male puts his... penis inside a female's, um, vagina and that allows them to produce children. It's a lot more complicated than that, but we can get to that later."  Feeling more than a little bit befuddled, Jongdae stares at the stick figures Joonmyeon has drawn.

"What about us? Neither of us are female." He knows this at least. 

"Nope. We're both male. So it's different for us, as it's different for two women." 

"How?" Jongdae's brow wrinkles. Humans are so _complicated_.

"There's just. Different things that can be done. Sorry. I'm not good at explaining things.You'll find out, " Joonmyeon promises with a barely contained chuckle. Jongdae pouts, wishing he could absorb all this knowledge without having to be told. He scrunches up his face, head starting to hurt from the onslaught of new information. Joonmyeon gets up to do something, put some things away, while Jongdae processes everything.

"Joonmyeon?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you kiss me, please?" Jongdae asks, requestiong the first thing he can think of to take his mind away from the confusion. Kissing is nice, and sometimes _more_ than nice, exciting even. More often than not, Joonmyeon refuses to do much more than a simple peck, even though they had done something extraordinary on the first night Jongdae was human. Maybe that's what Joonmyeon is talking about? Either way, he wants to feel that feeling again.

"Um," Joonmyeon blinks a few times, surprised, and purses his lips, "yes, I suppose so," 

He settles lightly on the mattress beside Jongdae and helps to arrange him in a position that won't be uncomfortable, pushing some pillows up against the wall so it doesn't hurt, then climbs on top of him, knees either side of Jongdae's hips. Instantly Jongdae feels something stirring inside him, something warm and flowing, like molten lava but not painful. Joonmyeon leans in, and laughs to himself, resting his forehead against the new human's, so their eyes are level. Joonmyeon's eyes are dark brown, and light up beautifully in the sunlight, but in the dark they are gorgeous too, endless pools of beauty and Jongdae is so in love with him.

Gently, cautiously, Joonmyeon presses his lips against Jongdae's and his eyes flutter shut. He'd forgotten just how good a feeling that is, and he cranes his neck up to get more, to consume more of the human's delicious flavour.

The warm weight of Joonmyeon hovering over his lap is intoxicating in more ways than one, and Jongdae gives into the urge to pull him closer, hands on his waist, so he can feel more of him even if there is fabric in the way. He isn't sure why he thinks of it as being 'in the way', but it's annoying him right now, when he wants to touch Joonmyeon's bare skin and feel him with nothing impeding the sensation.

Like the first time, Joonmyeon grinds against him and awakens something within him that he hadn't know existed before now. It has to be a human trait, this broiling fire under his skin and roaring in his veins. He gasps, and is very, very aware of Joonmyeon's hands trailing down his chest, closer to the source of the fire.

"Do you want me to show you? What I meant earlier?"

"What?" Jongdae asks in a daze, still reeling from the tidal wave of new sensations,

"We were just talking about things people can do together. I can show you,"

"Yes, please," he breathes, wishing he could move his legs so he could mover against his boyfriend the way he is against him, the soft roll of his hips is driving him _crazy_. 

Joonmyeon shuffles back a little, separating their bodies and allowing a cool draft to rush into the space between them. Then he slips his fingers underneath his sweater, and pushes it up over his chest, his touch leaving firey trails. When he places soft kisses over his nipples, he can't breathe. How did he know that place would feel so good? He moans, then, surprised at himself for making such a noise, covers his mouth. Joonmyeon takes his hand away,

"M-mm, that's a good sound, ok? That means I'm doing it right," Joonmyeon grins charmingly. Jongdae's single heart goes _ba-thump_ inside his chest.

"Ok,"

"Good," Joonmyeon agrees, then steps back completely, leaving Jongdae wanting. But the only reason he got up is to pull his pajama bottoms down a little, and his dick slaps his belly. He's shocked at how different it looks- of course he had noticed that it felt different, after all how could he not? But he hadn't expected it to look like this. Bigger and pinker and oozing something that definitely wasn't pee.

Joonmyeon wraps one hand around it, fingers tight around his girth but not painfully. Jongdae watches enraptured,

"What-? Ah!" He cries out as he drags his fist up and down his length. He throws his head back and bashes the wall, but Jongdae doesn't allow him to stop. It feels too good to stop. Everything is surging towards the centre of his being, liquid and warm and glowing he can't hold onto it and it all rushes and gushes out of him in spurts that drip over Joonmyeon's hand.

"Ah! I'm sorry!" Jongdae wheezes, still reeling from what just happened. He blinks slowly, feeling like he's floating on the surface of the ocean, but better. That languid, tranquil feeling washing over him.

"It's ok, that's meant to happen. H-hey! Don't fall asleep on me!"  

-

The wheelchair arrives two weeks later. By this time, Jongdae is going out of his mind with boredom and frustration because he can't _do_ anything and he's just a burden to himself and especially Joonmyeon. He can't help him tidy, or get food at the village and he hates waiting alone for him to come back, even though he doesn't tell him that. 

Sooyoung delivers the box, after having lugged it all the way to Joonmyeon's house, and Jongdae is beside himself with excitement. He can barely sit still and his glee is contagious as the cut open the cardboard and reveal the small, black wheelchair, everyone is smiling widely and can hardly hold themselves back from laughing. Joomyeon unfolds it, and helps Jongdae to get into it, picking him up the way will always remind of as how they first met.

Jongdae scoots back and forward a little, but as there isn't much room indoors he can't do much. He's _shaking_ , he's so happy. Joonmyeon wheels him outside onto the sand and promptly gets stuck in the sand, but after a short time spent hauling him back onto harder ground everything is fine. Joonmyeon pushes him around for a little bit, riding on the back in short bursts while Sooyeon laughs and records it on her phone. After Joonmyeon is lying on the ground laughing to himself, Jongdae takes over in getting himself around, practising moving by himself and pushing the wheels with his hands, which is harder than it looks.

At the end of the day, Jongdae is exhausted and his arms ache but he feels so good that it doesn't matter. He agrees to give it a few more days practice with the wheelchair before going to see the village, because Joonmyeon was worried about him, but makes it only two days. It's a deal, and Jongdae spends the days waiting for him to be ready by practising more, wheeling himself up and down the earthy patch along the bottom of the cliff. Even when it rains on the second day.

Before he even realises it, it's time to go.

"It's a good thing you've been training; even on wheels there's no way I'd get you up there if you weren't helping me." Joonmyeon wheezes, heaving Jongdae over a ledge as Jongdae pushes at the wheels, jittery with excitement. The trees look so different from below, with the sunlight beaming through them and illuminating them bright emerald shades. He marvels at the unseen beauty, and points it out to Joonmyeon, who stares up at it for a moment too, smiling softly. At that point, Jongdae isn't looking at the scenery any more.

The rain from yesterday has made the ground a little muddy, but Joonmyeon had promised and he is going to _deliver_ , damn it. The first of the houses on the periphery of the village comes into view and Joonmyeon has a break to let him recover, but Jongdae doesn't want to wait, he's bouncing in his seat and fidgeting incessantly. With a breathless laugh, Joonmyeon tells him to calm down for a second, and let him recuperate.

"But I want to gooo," he whines, grasping Joonmyeon's wrist and pleading with huge eyes. 

"Ok, ok, let's go then." Joonmyeon smiles, pretending to be put upon by Jongdae's wheedling. They don't stop to ogle the shop windows, glass panes set into older buildings in an attempt to modernise the area while still keeping the feel of the original buildings. Their destination is Sooyoung's parent's shop, where they will probably spend the afternoon until Jongdae either gets tired or begs to explore more of the village, whichever comes first.

It's a bit of a tight squeeze to get Jongdae through the door on the wheelchair, because their is a step, but Sooyoung's dad rushes to help them, lifting the front to carry him over. Jongdae doesn't even look the slightest bit embarrassed about causing any kind of scene, for which Joonmyeon is glad. Instead he grins brightly at the old man and greets him happily,

"Hello! I'm Jongdae!" He announces, voice carrying across the small store, and Joonmyeon notes a customer peeking around the side of one of the shelves to get a better look. He should have expected this, but he tries not to let their blatant ogling bother him.

"Hello there! My name is Hobong," The shop owner greets back, bowing slightly. Jongdae copies him, ducking his head demurely, but peeking up through his fringe with glistening eyes. "I haven't heard much about you, Joonmyeon here has been keeping you a secret for a while now, and I've been _dying_ of curiosity,"

"Oh!" Jongdae looks shocked, reaching for Joonmyeon beside him and lacing their fingers together. 

"It's a figure of speech," Joonmyeon cuts in before he jumps to any conclusions about him actually dying. Jongdae makes a small 'o' shape with his mouth. It's at this point that Sooyoung's father notices their audience of two, hidden behind the pharmaceutical section, and jerks his head towards the counter,

"Let's see if we can't find somewhere more comfortable to talk, hm?" And without waiting for an answer, proceeds to lift the latch and raise the slat to allow them both into the back area. He knows Joonmyeon has been here before a few times- it consists of a storage room, then the rest of their home, their bedrooms located above the shop. Sooyoung's father leads them through the dim storage room, and into a cozy living room, equipped with a long squishy chair with a few stains on, a smaller one in the same colour, and a black box lying on a table by the window.

"Do you need any help getting onto the sofa?" He asks, hovering a little, unsure. 

"No thanks, I've got it," Joonmyeon assures him, crouching a little next to Jongdae and holding his arms out. Knowing he means to lift him up, Jongdae tries to make it easy for him but it's almost as cramped in here as it is inside Joonmyeon's shack, so it's difficult to get the right leverage. Once Jongdae is safely seated, he goes to fold up the wheelchair, leaving Jongdae to smile at the friendly man across from him in the smaller chair. A thought crosses his mind,

"Where is Sooyoung?" He asks, peering around as if she might be hiding underneath something or around a corner.

"She's out running errands for now, but she'll be back later on." He has a deep voice, but it's not booming and doesn't make him feel like he should be afraid. He has white hair, with a bald patch on the top- Jongdae wonders if that's a sign of age in humans. Merfolk don't lose their hair, but it does lighten, becoming almost translucent in colour when they reach old age. 

"Oh," he nods. He realises he doesn't really have a lot to say to this man right now, when earlier his head was brimming with questions. Suddenly everything has flown away. There's a brief silence before Joonmyeon returns, flopping down on the couch next to Jongdae, making sure they touch somewhere, even if it's just their little fingers between them.

"So. How long have you been on the island?"

"Not long, maybe half a month," he supplies, looking to Joonmymeon for support.

"A little more than that, I think." He says with a wink, thinking back to the month they spent together before. All fond memories.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," Jongdae laughs a little at the lie. "Is your wife home?" He asks, hoping it's not tactless of him to ask.

"Yes, she is, I almost forgot! I'll go and get her for you, introduce you," Hobong leaves the room for a moment, but then bellows his wife's name- Junga- with a voice that doesn't fit his small, thin, stature. He returns shortly afterwards,seating himself on the cushions again and clasping his hands on his lap, elbows on his knees. 

"So, Jongdae, tell me about yourself. How old are you? Are you in school? Do you have a big family? What are your hobbies? "

Bewildered by all the questions, Jongdae blinks a few times, watching the man's eyebrows raise with each inquiry while his mind races to provide answers.

"I am twenty years old. I am not in school. Yes, a very big family, and I like to sing," He offers hesitantly, the last part sounding like a question with the inflection hinting up. The old man tilts his head to the side, assessing him, and Jongdae feels like whatever test he's being put through, he's failing it. Sweating nervously- a new experience as a human- he hopes that he doesn't try to ask more about him. He has never been to school the way Joonmyeon describes it, though he is educated, so he won't be able to truthfully tell him about things he did while there.

"Singing, huh? We haven't had a good singer around this town for a long time, not since my mother passed. Do you think you're good?"

"I. Yes? I think so," Jongdae stutters. He used to love singing when he was younger, but when people no longer had time to listen to him, he started singing less and less, eventually only doing it when he was alone, just for his own ears. Having an audience of more than a few birds scares him, but in a thrilling way.

"I'll have to test you out on that one- Oh!" He smiles broadly as his wife enters, patting the seat next to him, "I was just wondering if you got abducted by aliens," he chuckles.

"Nope, no aliens today," She says. She sounds very young, even though she has streaks of grey hair and wrinkles around her eyes. She's also a lot bigger than her husband, which reminds him of his own family. His mother can be as big as she wants, and even without magical help she's a lot bigger than his father. But unlike his mother, this woman doesn't use her large form as a weapon, a tool to intimidate those around her. But she doesn't try to make herself smaller either, she just...is. 

"This is Joonmyeon's visitor, Jongdae. We were just talking about singing, what do you say we get the two of them to do a duet for us?" 

"Now now, don't force the youngsters into doing anything they don't want to do. We can't be putting pressure like that on them when it's only Jongdae's first time here. Maybe next time." She placates him, resting one hand on his knee.

"Alright, Alright, I understand," he points at the both of them, squinting playfully, "but you two haven't wriggled out of it so easily. I'll be waiting!" He mock threatens.

"Ok, Mr Ha, we get it. We'll sing for you one day," Joonmyeon cuts in, before Jongdae can say anything damning. 

The phone on the table beside the couch rings loudly, making almost everyone jump. Calmly, as is her nature, Junga answers it, 

"Hello? ...Ah, I see. That's a shame, but you can go visit tomorrow. Yes. See you later." She puts the phone down, "That was Sooyoung, she's caught up in something and won't be home till late, so unfortunately she won't be able to join us," 

"Oh," Jongdae frowns. He likes Sooyoung, but he will probably see her tomorrow anyway, since she makes the trip to the beach to visit them every few days now. Often bearing candies and other things to give to Jongdae, and using it as an opportunity to gossip about Joonmyeon behind his back. Or rather, she will do the gossiping, since he can't find fault with his boyfriend. 

"Joonmyeon, did you hear about the Park family? Apparently their son dropped out of his medicine course to pursue music!"

"Oh, how scandalous," Joonmmyeon agrees, 

"He's not going to be coming home for a while, I think," the old man wiggles his eyebrows, reminding Jongdae of sea slugs, but furry.

They both chuckle darkly at this poor person's misfortune, and Jongdae watches the exchange, wanting to know more but not willing to expose his newborn ignorance to Sooyoung's father, as he seems very intuitive and would guess that something strange is afoot if he slips up. He would be suspicious, and keep asking questions he can't answer, and he doesn't want that, doesn't want to ruin his first visit. Joonmyeon shifts, leaning close enough so that Jongdae can feel his warmth through his clothes.

"So how is life treating you, are you still having trouble with your back?" Joonmyeon asks, more at ease with small talk than Jongdae is. He'll get the hang of it soon, he's sure.

"Oh, I'm _always_ having trouble with my back. Luckily Junga here is a little younger, and a lot more spry than I, so she does all the heavy lifting," Jongdae laughs as he rolls up his sleeves and flexes his arms, showing off how little muscle he has there and winking at his wife, who scoffs at him.

"It's ok, I'm not strong either." Jongdae teams up with the wrinkled man, pinching his thin arms too. Hobong looks at him genially,

"We can start a club- Weak Men United Against the Forces of Evil." Jongdae can't help laughing at this, such an absurd thing to say. No one would ever make a joke like that where he came from, it's just too strange. But he likes it,

"Yes, and we will protect children from bad things," he replies, pretending to punch an invisible monster. 

-

As they leave, Hobong crouches next to Jongdae's chair and solemnly stares him down, "Now you take care of our Joonmyeon here, you got that? He's been almost like a son to me ever since he came here, and he's a wonderful boy. I know you're a sweet boy, but don't you go breaking his heart, now,"

"I understand. I'll do my best," Jongdae promises, glancing at his boyfriend's back as he's preoccupied with Junga, laughing shyly at something she said. He turns around, and his eyes shrink to crescents when he catches Jongdae's. Hobong slaps his shoulder,

"Atta boy,"

-

When they both return home, back to Joonmyeon's shack, it's dark and the stars are shining down on them and twinkling merrily. Jongdae stares out to see, feeling nostalgic. It's only been a few weeks, but he already kind of misses the water, and the way cool tendrils would curl around his tail and through his hair. The air up here is so dry and warm, but he still can't bring himself to regret his decision. Even as he stares at the rippling reflection of the crescent moon, he knows he's made the right choice.

"Do you want to swim?" Joonmyeon's soft voice comes from behind him, but he isn't startled. He stares at the ground for a moment, wishing he could walk too, dance, leap, but being with Joonmyeon is enough. But he should swim, for now. It won't be the same, but he needs to anyway, to stop him from spontaneously transforming in front of someone who doesn't know his secret.

"Yeah,"

"Alright. I'll wheel you in, and stay at the shoreline," he murmurs, as if afraid of disturbing the idyllic quiet night. The sand makes a soft sound under the wheels, and gets stuck a few times, but the edge of the ocean gets closer and closer until its swirling around his toes, ankles, calves, over his knees. He uses the armrests to lever himself up a little, then allows himself to slip forwards. With a splash, he enters the cooling water, and starts stripping off his clothes.

It doesn't take long for the transformation to kick in, and although it hurts, its not so bad as to make him not want to continue. When his tail is fully formed, he flicks it, relishing in the movement, and twists under the water so that he's on his front, then propels himself into deeper waters. He breaches the surface, throwing his head back to look at the sky. 

It's lonely out here, but that's his choice. Loneliness or or a wheelchair. He'd take the wheelchair any day. 

After a short while- at least, he thinks it's a short while, he has no way of telling out here- he swims back to Joonmyeon, humming softly to himself. He much prefers singing underwater to in the air, there's just a cadence to his voice down there that can't be reproduced. He slows as he draws nearer, watching Joonmyeon watch him, grinning with his sharp teeth and pale mottled skin on show.

"You look like you're dressed in moonlight," Joonmyeon sighs, staring fondly.


	11. Eleven

The ferry is fascinating. Humans have created something so big that will float on the very top of the water and not sink. Jongdae has seen them from afar, of course, but looking at the underside is not the same as riding one. Joonmyeon told him that it's only a little ship, for a fairly short journey back to Korea, but it looks plenty big to him. The rocking sensation of the boat is strange, since he isn't immersed in water right now.

"When do we leave?" Jongdae asks, peering over the edge of the railings to the horizon, where their destination lies, a thin grey smudge in the distance. Joonmyeon rests his hands on his hips.

"Jongdae, it's been less than five minutes since you asked me that the last time,"

"I know, but-"

"Soon, ok?" Joonmyeon cuts him off to reassure him. Then he looks up at a shout from further down the moore,

"Take care!" Sooyoung calls out, hands cupped around her mouth to make her words travel farther. Her mother and father stand either side of her, waving. Jongdae leans forward as far as he is able to wave back, going so far as to almost fall out of his wheelchair. Joonmyeon rights him, and he carries on bidding his friends farewell. He's going to miss them, even though they only knew each other for a short time.

"Goodbye!" Jongdae calls out across the bay, salty tears trickling over his cheeks despite his huge smile. It is bittersweet to leave here, the place he was reborn.

The ferry sets off, and Sooyoung, Hobong and Junga fade into tiny dots.

 

 

Joonmyeon had saved up, working extra hard to pay for ferry tickets, and grovelled for his mum to give him his old room back in her house, at least until they could find something better. It had turned out that he didn't need to grovel at all, she was happy to have him back in her house after all these years of missing him. And when she heard that he was bringing a friend, she was very excited to meet him, telling him he should have come home sooner. Jongdae is looking forward to meeting Joonmyeon's mother too, but nervous at the same time. What if she doesn't like him?

"There's nothing to worry about, my mum will love you." Joonmyeon promises, as they alight from the ferry, drizzle starting to dampen their hair and skin. How he could tell Jongdae was worrying about that is beyond him, but his sureness relieves some of the anxiety. Not all, but enough for him to smile weakly. He takes his hand for a moment, and squeezes it, before tilting his head towards what looks like the way out. Joonmyeon catches on quickly, and pushes him over there. Jongdae is getting more and more used to his lower half not responding to him, but it's still frustrating sometimes, that he can't get to places like everyone else can.

The journey to Joonmyeon's mum's house should not have been long, but the wheelchair complicates things. Bumps in the road mean it's slow going, and people barge past them on the street. The first bus drives past them, full of people, and the on the second one the stares put Jongdae on edge, making the ride feel longer than it is really.

"For god's sake," Joonmyeon complains, as he tries to force the wheels over the slight bump between the floor of the corridor and the elevator of the apartment block his mother lives in-  they all live in the same building? And none of them know each other? They aren't family?- and Jongdae winces at his tone. The peice of equipment is annoying him as well. Maybe when they get inside, they can fold it up, and Jongdae can just sit on the sofa, out of the way, and stop being a burden.

Once Joonmyeon presses the button on the wall- the doorbell, he's learned- his heart stops for a moment.

But the door opens a few seconds later, and a short, curly haired woman darts forwards to hug his boyfriend, taking his breath away.

"Oh, Joonmyeon, I thought you would _never_ return home!" She cries, clutching her son in an iron grip. Joonmyeon wraps his arms around her, eyes tearing up too, and buries his face in the crook of her neck even though he has to crouch a little to do it.

"I missed you too mum, _so much_ ," he mumbles, voice strangled with emotion. Jongdae watches on in a mixture of fondness and awe. She looks so like him, it's almost like someone took her face, changed the jawline a little, and put it on Joonmyeon. They hold onto each other for a while, until Jongdae feels a little uncomfortable, just sitting outside in the hallway. He doesn't want to be rude, and interrupt their reunion, but he's in the way, if anyone wants to get by. He reaches out and lightly brushes Joonmyeon's side. He jerks,

"Ah, yeah. Sorry, mum, this is Jongdae."

"You mentioned him on the phone. Hello there. It's nice to meet you." She bows her head, and Jongdae does too, respectfully. Joonmyeon seems to understand that he's uncomfortable.

"Shall we head inside, now?" He suggests, stepping around to push Jongdae through the front door.

"Oh, yes, of course!" His mother exclaims, "D-do either of you want anything to drink?" 

"I could do with some tea. Jongdae?"

"Yes please, Tea would be lovely,"

"Come in, come in," she bustles, and heads inside, leaving them to follow her. Joonmyeon's has a little difficulty getting the wheelchair through the door, but manages eventually, and takes him straight to what seems to be a sitting room, with a green sofa and a tv. Joonmyeon helps him onto it, and then folds up his chair to put aside, before heading off to the kitchen to help his mum, and catch up. Jongdae can hear them talking and laughing, but not exactly what they're saying. Waiting for them both to come back, he rearranges his legs so he's more comfortable.

When they return, after a few minutes of allowing Jongdae to stare around the room (are those photos of Joonmyeon when he was younger? He was so cute!) Joonmyeon hands him a warm mug,

"Jongdae, your tea," he announces with a flourish, and sits next to him heavily, making the cushions bounce up and down. 

"It's lovely to meet any friend of my son's. I hope you have a nice time while you're here." Joonmyeon's mother says, sipping her drink delicately. 

"It's nice to meet you too." Jongae smiles meekly, half hiding behind his cup. He very much wants to make a good impression on her, but doesn't know how. 

"Any friend of Joonmyeon's is a friend of mine. I understand you need a place to stay, is that right?"

"Yes," 

"Well, you're welcome to stay here until you find somewhere better, ok? I don't have a spare room now that Joonmyeon is back, but you could take the sofa, or share the room with him, if you'd like."

"Thank you. I'd like to share with Joonmyeon, please." Jongdae requests, still trying to be as polite as he can. The slight shocked expression on the woman's face disappears in an instant, but she quickly nods,

"Of course, of course." 

"We had to share the bed back at my old place, so it's not uncomfortable," Joonmyeon explains. He had explained that his mother wasn't particularly approving of their kind of relationship before they arrived. Joonmyeon had to go over the word 'homophobia' several times before Jongdae caught on, and even then, he didn't understand. It doesn't make any sense, that only certain people can be allowed to be together.

"Oh, I understand." She nods, but Jongdae is sure she doesn't understand at all. But instead of bringing it up and risking getting into an argument about it- Joonmyeon said she didn't like to talk about it- he stays quiet and listens as the two of them catch up with each other.

Joonmyeon's mother tells him all about everything he's missed out on they years he's been gone, people getting married, starting businesses, having children. Apparently he has some new cousins, and absolutely must visit her friend's boutique that she opened all by herself. She's so animanted and Jongdae quickly forgets that she might not like him if she knew about how he feels about her son. He'd hate to see all that energy channeled into anger.

"I'll be sure to visit them, when I have free time, I promise," Joonmyeon chuckles, and puts his empty mug down.

"Good, good. You'll need to get a job, too, won't you? I'll see if I can set you up somewhere, if you like. I'll ask around, ok? In the meantime, please, tell me about how you met Jongdae." She urges, uncrossing her legs and leaning back against the sofa. Jongdae smiles and looks to Joonmyeon to tell the story. He's so much more eloquent than he is, and he loves listening to him speak.

"He's an overseas friend," He starts, pulling him closer to his side, and almost knocking the mug out of his hands, "Ooops. Anyway, he struggles a little with his korean still, and needed somewhere to stay for a while. I said I wouldn't mind having him around for a bit, if he didn't mind living in my tiny house. Very straightforward." He lies. Jongdae resists the urge to snort at this made up tale, and bites his lip to stop it from bursting out. Straightforward? Never.

"Aw, aren't you just an angel," his mother teases, seeing no reason to suspect anything, "always putting yourself out there for the good of others."

"Yep. That's me," He agrees, pretending he didn't live on the opposite side of the island to the rest of the residents there. Jongdae pinches him. "Ow! Hey, I pushed you up and over that mountain in searing hot weather, don't you be rude!"

"Ok, I know. I know." Jongdae laughs, covering his mouth. "but an angel? Only your voice is angel- like," and his face, and his body. And his personality too, if he's honest, he's just trying to tease him.

"Hey!" 

"I'm kidding!" Jongdae snorts, trying to breathe as Joonmyeon constricts his waist. Joonmyeon's mother watches on fondly.

"I'm glad that you made friends while you were away," she sighs, "would you like another drink?"

"Oh, no thank you," Jongdae declines, not having finished his last one. Joonmyeon accepts, and she takes his mug and goes off to the kitchen. Jongdae releases some of the tension in his shoulders, not having even noticed that he was so nervous. She is very nice, but measuring his actions to make sure they don't give off the wrong impression is getting tiring already and they haven't been there that long. Hopefully staying here won't be too difficult for either of them. Maybe they will have to be close only when she isn't looking.

Jongdae doesn't move much all afternoon, but he enjoys watching the other two bustle around. At one point, Joonmyeon seizes upon an old looking device which plays music, and sets the thing blaring before taking his mother and dancing with her. She laughs, batting futilely at him to make him stop, but nothing works. Watching them sets trickles of jealousy dripping inside of him, and he wishes he could dance like that with him.

When night falls, after they've all eaten Joonmyeon's mother's homecooking, they set about preparing bedding for both of the guests. Joonmyeon gets his old room, and Jongdae delights in looking around where he grew up, even though there isn't any of his belongings left in there. The bed looks just a tiny bit bigger than the one he had in that tiny shack he used to call home, and Jongdae thinks that it would be just about ideal for both of them to fit into comfortably. Too bad they can't without being looked down upon. Not for the first time, Jongdae wonders why humans have to be so darn complicated.

"I'll miss you." he whispers as Joonmyeon helps him into his makeshift bed on the sofa, cautious to not let the woman of the house hear his words. Joonmyeon casts a quick glance to check that she isn't in the room, before kissing his forehead,

"Me too," he confesses. "Sleep well. See you in the morning,"

"You too," Jongdae murmurs. It feels lonely sleeping here by himself, in an unknown place with strange lights painting the walls from outside and shadows in the corners. The sounds are wrong too- no more whispering of the ocean, only the roaring of cars whizzing by outside. He doesn't get much sleep that night.

 

It takes a week for Joonmyeon to get a job in one of his mother's friend's places, acting as a salesperson and learning more about clothes than he ever wanted to know. Jongdae slowly settles in, and finds that Joonmyeon's mother- her name is Hyunsook- is a very bubbly character, always busy doing something, or chatting away happily. When her friends come over to visit, they tell him that she's much happier than she's been for a long time, and that it must be because her son came back. Jongdae is glad that she's happier. Joonmyeon makes him feel happy too, so he understands at least a little bit.

"I think it's time I fullfilled one of my promises to you," Joonmyeon announces, when payday finally comes around. Jongdae frowns. 

"What?"

"We could go visit an amusement park. We can go to Lotte world if you like. It's not too far from here, and we get a discount if you have a wheelchair." He grins, like this is great news. Not quite understanding what the word 'discount' means, Jongdae smiles back anyway.

"Let's do it!" He exclaims, reaching for him to tug him closer. Elated, Joonmyeon kisses him. At that moment, Hyunsook walks in, and pauses, staring at them blankly. Joonmyeon freezes with his lips on Jongdae, then squawks, jumping away violently.

"Oh, come now Joonmyeon, there's no need for such dramatics," She sighs, placing the tray of little cakes on the coffee table and sitting down too. 

"You're not upset?" He asks, voice shaking slightly. Jongdae guesses that all mothers can be scary, even if not in the same way.

"Well, yes, but you're still my son. To tell the truth, I had been suspecting this since you came home with him. But I know Jongdae well now, and he's a lovely man, so I'm not unhappy with it." Even though she says this, she looks at them both gravely, eyes darting between them both.  

"You're ok with us being....like this?" 

"It will take a while for me to get used to not having grandchildren from you, but. Yes." She smiles wanly, folding her hands in her lap primly.

"T-thank you." Joonmyeon stammers.

"No need to thank me," she says. "Help yourself to a few," she gestures to the cakes, then makes sharp eye contact with Joonmyeon, " _only_ a few. I'm watching you, Joonie."

"No more than eight then, got it," he rubs his hands together, and reaches out as if he's going to grab as many as he can fit in one hand. Hyunsook smacks his hand, expression stern, but that only lasts for a second. Turning to Jongdae, she purses her lips.

"Jongdae, keep an eye on this one for me, ok?"

"Ok," he agrees, grinning brightly. She accepted them, even though Joonmyeon was scared that she wouldn't! His hearts are singing, and even when Joonmyeon starts jokingly complaining about preferential treatment the feeling doesn't fade.

 

 

"Guess what?" Joonmyeon surprises Jongdae one day, hugging him from behind as he leans against the kitchen counter to reach something. 

"What?" He gasps in shock, trying not to fall or lean too much on his lover. Joonmyeon carefully lowers him back into his chair and hands him the knife he was reaching for, so he can go back to preparing dinner with his mother.

"I got us two tickets to lotte world!" He exclaims, waving two small slips of paper in his face. 

"Lotte World?" Jongdae frowns, going slightly cross-eyed trying to get a good look.

"An amusement park! We promised that we would go together, remember?" 

"Oh! Yes!" Jongdae dropps the onion on the table and wheels around, "When can we go- can we go _now?_ I want to go," 

"Whoa, hey, we can't drop everything and go right now; it's too late. We can go tomorrow, or this weekend. We have to go for the whole day, too."

"That's not fair, getting my hopes up like that." Jongdae sulkily picked up the knife, and the onion from where it had rolled to on the table, and carries on chopping it up.

"Tomorrow then, since you're so excited." Joonmyeon kisses his cheek and he almost glows.

 

-

 

Jongdae is giddy as he and Joonmyeon line up for entry to Lotte World. He'd barely been able to sleep at all the night before, too jittery and bubbling with excitement. He'd woken up his lover too, as they have taken to sleeping in the same bed not that Hyunsook knows about them. Jongdae likes it there, being closer to Joonmyeon makes him feel safer somehow, warmer and (usually) calmer. They're approaching the front of the queue now, finally, and they got here fairly early. They'd walked all the way here, or Joonmyeon at least had.

The inside of the building is magical- like a garden designed by fairies.

"Are you ready to go on some rides?" Joonmyeon cajoles, pushing the back of the wheelchair and shaking it around a little to make him laugh. 

"Yeah! It's going to be so fun! I want to go fast on a rollercoaster." Jongdae leans around to see how many people there still are in front of them- only about four or five- and practically vibrates. Joonmyeon had shown him some videos on the youtube and now more than ever he wishes he could run so he could just get on them quicker. Of coure, he knows he has to wait his turn, but running would surely help. Even just to give him some way to burn some of his excited energy.

"We can go on whatever you want, ok?" Joonmyeon promises, pushing him ever closer as the queue decreases.

When they reach the ticket booth, Joonmyeon hands over the tickets and waits for the girl there to verify them. When she does, handing them both a map, Jongdae has to try even harder to contain himself- they're so close now! The darkness just beyond the entrance beckons, and he hopes to make a lot of great memories. Joonmyeon is here to share this time with him, and that makes everything special. They go through the widest gate so Jongdae can get trhough, and scan their tickets, officially marking their entrance inside.

"Here, have a look at this," Joonmyeon designates him official keeper of the map, so he pores over it . Theres several different sections and floors they can go to, all with a different theme. There's a castle! And a big boat!

"I want to go here!" He exclaims, pointing to the boat, then the castle as Joonmyeon wheels him through the glass doors. Jongdae's mouth falls open. The ceiling is comprised of a giant domed window, through which he can see the sky, and laid out in front of him is a world filled with people and magic. To his right, on the other side of the huge room, is what looks like a cliff face with a waterfall, and all around him are ornate and prettily coloured buildings. 

"We can go everywhere, we have all day." 

"Well I want to go there first then," Jongdae says, looking around eagerly. There are so many people in here, more so than were on the streets outside even, and these people look a lot happier. Everywhere he looks there are smiles and happiness, it's contagious. Bouncing slightly, Jongdae leans over the side to get a better view at the line of shops. There's so many people here it makes him a little nervous, but then Joonmyeon rests his hand on his arm and everything is ok again. He feels grounded.

"What's that over there?" He asks, pointing to a window filled with what looks like fluffy ears.

"Souvenir shops. Do you want to get something? We can if you want," they go a little closer, and a pair of green sequined ear headbands catches Jongdae's eyes.

"I want one of those. Can I?"

"Yes, the green one? Let's go try it on, ok?" Joonmyeon wheels him inside, apologising to people around them to get by, and places the green ear headbands on Jongdae. They're fluffy on the back and have sequins on the inside that sparkle in the orange lighting.

"You need to have one too!" The merman decides, reaching out for a pair of blue rabbit ears for him. Joonmyeon puts them on mock-reluctantly and poses cutely for him. Jongdae loves him so much, "Yes, these ones are good. We can get these?"

"Yeah, give me yours and I'll just go pay, ok?" Jongdae hands over his and waits patiently as Joonmyeon pays for them. 

They exit the shop wearing their purchases, commplimenting each other and planning where to go first. Luckily the line for the swinging boat isn't too long, so they join on the end and Jongdae marvels at how high it swings.

"We won't fall off?"

"No, of course not. Everything is tested to make sure it's safe, no need to worry." Joonmyeon promises, smiling at him ruefully. His smiles drops from his face when he looks up, however, and Jongdae turns quickly to find out why: a bunch of high school age kids all look away quickly when he spots them, giggling. It's not a nice kind of laughter, and for some reason, heat spreads on his cheeks. Why do they have to make him feel bad?

"Don't pay them any attention," Joonmyeon instructs, glaring at them. Sadly, that's not the only time people stare or pointedly look away from him. When the staff help him get into the rides, half of them seem to be inwardly rolling their eyes. It makes Jongdae feel like a burden. 

If Joonmyeon wasn't there then he would probably have run away, like he did when his sisters and brothers mocked him back in the palace. But Joonmyeon gives him courage just by being there with him, so he holds his head up high and does his best to smile throughout the day.

 

Once they've eaten- food that Joonmyeon says is _typical of a theme park_ , a little disdainfully- they head towards Magic Island. The pathway there is adorned with giant leaves on the ceiling, and Jongdae wishes he could reach up and touch. But then the castle comes into view, and the leaves are forgotten. Sure he's seen the big buildings outside, touching the clouds and reflecting the sunlight, and yes, they're amazing in their way. But this- the castle is something special.

"It's beautiful," he breathes, craning his neck to see better around the crowd of visitors in front of him. 

"I know," Joonmyeon agrees, but when when he turns around, he isn't looking at the castle. He covers his face to hide the hint of redness thats blooming on his cheeks. 

"Alright, what do you want to do first?"

 

It's getting close to seven in the evening, and Jongdae is tiring out. There's just so much to do here and they havent even done an eighth of what's available. The sky is darkening too, and the atmosphere is so humid that Jongdae is pink and sweaty. They took photos with Hyunsook's camera of each other by all the optical illusions- one like a prison but the bars were flexible to make them look strong- and lots and lots of statues.

Without them really realising it, the lights have all turned on. Everything looks like a glowing wonderland, orange lamps and fairy lights illuminating the scenery. It takes Jongdae's breath away.

"Hey, one thing we haven't been on is the carousel. Do you want to try that?"

"Yes!" Jongdae replies, with only slightly less enthusiasm than when they first arrived. One last thing before they leave, Jongdae resolves. There's a bit of a crowd surrounding the camelot carousel, mostly people waving at the people riding, and taking pictures as they pass by. The pair of them wait patiently for the current round to finish, watching slack jawed as the opulent horses prance by to the music. 

It's finally their turn, and Joonmyeon rushes forward to secure them both a spot. Although it takes a little while to get Jongdae up onto the horse- making the other people have to wait a bit longer- they finally make it. Seated on horses adjacent to one another, there's a clunk, and then the machine is moving. Its taking Jongdae away.

The world is spinning and Jongdae is giddy but not in a bad way. He doesn't want to be sick, he just wants to be close to Joonmyeon now. The crowd around them flies past until they're just a blur in the background and all he can see is Joonmyeon's face. There's no way he will ever regret coming here, choosing to spend his life with this human. He knows this deep inside of him, he made the right decision. Joonmyeon takes his hand, expression soft, and squeezes his fingers. Jongdae's breath catches.

As Joonmyeon is helping him down from the horse, he sneaks a kiss when he thinks no one is looking. 

"Shall we go home now?" Joonmyeon breathes, crouching down next to him. His eyes glisten, and not just because of the lights. Jongdae leans closer, until they're so close their ears are tangling up together. Laughing wryly, Jongdae agrees. Tonight has one of the best in his memory, but he hopes that he'll still be making memories with Joonmyeon forever.

 

-

 

It's early morning. Jongdae can tell this because the light coming in from the curtains is minimal. Joonmyeon shifts in his sleep, bare skin sliding against bare skin. Jongdae hums, and curls up closer against his chest. He feels fully rested and relaxed. Ever since they moved into their new home, it's been so much easier to sleep at night. It's not a big house, and definitely isn't very fancy, but Jongdae still thinks it's wonderful. Definitely better than the shack that they used to live in, back on the island where they met, just over two years ago.

"Mm...Jongdae?" Joonmyeon stirs beneath him, and his deep gravelly morning voice does something to him. He bites his lip. Despite knowing that Joonmyeon has work in an hour, he pushes himself up and layers himself over his lover. It's nice to live alone for this reason too, he thinks, kissing Joonmyeon languidly. He reciprocates, rolling them both over so that Jongdae is lying underneath him.

"Good morning," he sighs, dipping down to kiss him again. "I can't kiss you if you're smiling," Joonmyeon complains lightly, sitting back and watching Jongdae try to compose himself. It's not working too well for him.

"I can't help it. I just always want to smile with you here." He whines.

"You're such a natural charmer," Joonmyeon shakes his head, "I've got the day off today, so we can do whatever you want to do."

"Anything?" Jongdae licks his lips, eyes trailing down Joonmyeon's naked chest. 

"Anything," he confirms, voice sultry as he crawls forward to the side table to reach for an essential item. It's raspberry flavoured.

 

Lying on the bed, just over an hour later and still pleasantly buzzing from their earlier activities, Jongdae watches his lover get dressed with some regret. In a minute, he'll get dressed himself, but in the meantime he wants to comit his body to memory one more time. Not realising that he has an audience, Joonmyeon stares at his reflection in the mirror, pulling at his eyes and stretching his face. 

"What are you doing?" Jongdae laughs, making him jumps. To his surprise, Joonmmyeon looks embarrassed,

"I have wrinkles." He mumbles, looking away, "It's a sign of getting older,"

"I know that. I don't see any on you."

"Well, _I_ can see them. I don't see any on you, though. I guess merfolk live longer, huh?"

"Yeah," Jongdae sighs, mood dampened at the idea of the future, so uncertain. "but I will still love you when you're old, so you don't have to be sad. There is lots of time for us to share." Jongdae edges his way towards the end of the bed, and reaches out for Joonmyeon to come closer. Circling his arms around his waist, Jongdae squeezes with all his might, as if somehow his love will make him feel better this way.

"I know," Joonmyeon looks down at him, tenderness in his eyes. "I'll love you forever too."

 


	12. Epilogue

These days, floating is his favourite pastime. Mun-Eo rests on his stomach as he drifts facing the sky, and kisses him with her suction cups. From this deep, he can't see the way the sunlight ripples on the surface of the ocean. He misses that feeling; the sunlight caressing his skin. The only light down here is produced by Sooyoun's magic, and while that is beautiful in it's own way, gentle and soft, it doesn't hold a candle to the rays of the sun. 

He used to bask in the sun, floating on the surface. Joonmyeon would rent a boat for the day every so often, and then they would sail out to sea a little way, for Jongdae to transform and swim in relative peace. The human would bring a book to read in between taking a dip with the merman, unable to swim quite as well as the amphibious creature. Now, he doesn't dare breach the waves for fear of his emotions overwhelming him.

Their day trips became more difficult as time went on, as Joonmyeon found it harder and harder to move, but they managed. Somehow.

The bracelet that Joonmyeon made for him broke long ago, but he still keeps the beads and shells close in a pouch around his neck. It's not the same, but it's one of his best memories of the man he loved. During their time together, he bought him other things too, like rings to mark their marriage, and a watch with an inscription that has faded now, and he keeps them nearby too. But the bracelet was the first, and holds the most meaning to him still.

When Joonmyeon turned thirty they got married, after they had spent almost six years together. It had been a wonderful occaision, and both of them had dressed up to sign the book that recorded married couples. After that, there was the party, which Jongdae still doesn't remember much of, beyond dancing with Joonmyeon and eating good food. Too many people and too much drink to recall every thing that happened, but he does remember feeling like he was flying that day. One of the happiest days of his life, beside returning to Joonmyeon's arms on the beach.

Only a few years after that, Jongdae couldn't hide how young he looked compared to Joonmyeon. To hide it from his family, the two of them went travelling around the world. Sometimes people mistook them for father and son, especially at airports and restaurants. It was hard, and sometimes Jongdae regretted it. But with Joonmyeon by his side, they managed. Together. That was what mattered. 

Then, when Joonmyeon was nearing eighty years old, he died.

Jongdae was devastated.

The funeral arrangements were simple. He wanted to be cremated and have his ashes buried beneath the sea. Jongdae's home, he called it, as if the entire ocean belonged to him. It used to make him smile, when he said that. Merfolk only inhabit the tiniest space, in the darkest crevasses of the ocean floor, but Joonmyeon would hear none of it.  

"Jongdae?" Sooyoun's voice startles him out of his nostalgia. Mun-Eo squirms on his stomach, and rolls off, heading for her surrogate mother.

"Hm?" He looks to her as if waking from a dream. Sooyoun watches him, expression tender and knowing. He sometimes forgets that she had to feel all this without any help, that she was all alone with a broken heart.

"Would you like something to eat?" She asks, holding out a plate of something that looks dull and bland. The food on the surface is another thing he misses.

"No thank you," he mumbles, drifting closer. Truthfully, he hasn't wanted to eat much since he arrived here, bearing the bad news. Sooyoun was kind enough to take him in, understanding instantly the pain he was going through. 

"Jongdae, please, eat something. It worries me to see you like this." Something inside him snaps.

"I don't know what to do." He confesses, mouth pulling down at the corners. "I have so many more years to spend without him, I don't know how I will live!" She wraps her arms around him, and holds him tight. If he were human right now, the tears would already be flowing.

"You will," She promises, hushed and sad. 

"I don't _want_ to!" He cries, voice cracking. What's the _point?_ Joonmyeon was everything to him. "I still love him." 

"That's good. Don't you _ever_ stop loving, understand? Never. Always hold him in your heart. He will watch over you yet, child." 

"What?" 

"I know it won't be the same. But some humans believe that once they die, their souls remain in the sky, like stars." 

"Like stars? That's so far away." 

"But _always_ there. Guiding you. That's what my Soonja used to say." One hand strokes up and down his back, around his dorsal fin, a silent reassurance. Mun-Eo crawls between them, concerned and trying to help. He feels like a child, a child from one of the programs on tv Joonmyeon used to watch. Like he's being cared for by his mother. The hurt inside him is still there, but somehow, he knows he will manage. He has to.

"Do you miss her?"

"Of course. Every day. Even after so long. It doesn't hurt as much anymore, and I will always wish she was here with me. But I must carry on. You had a good life with Joonmyeon, didn't you?"

"Yes." He agrees. He wouldn't change the time he spent with his husband for anything. 

"Then be glad for the time you _did_ have," she insists, "would he have wanted you to waste away like this?"

"No..." He concedes. She's right: for Joonmyeon's sake, he has to carry on. She holds out the plate again, inviting him to eat some. With reluctance, he takes a bite. Things will be ok, eventually.

Maybe soon he will go to the surface again, and look at the stars. It might be a while yet before he can bear to lie in the sun, but with the stars glinting down at him, and the promise of Joonmyeon being somewhere out there still, he might feel less alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he had a good life but all things must come to an end


	13. Extra

The moon, full and luminous, hangs in the sky beyond the horizon, casting glimmering reflections in the sea. Stars, twinkling, are more visible here than in the city. It reminds them both of where they first met. The sand beneath Jongdae’s wheels makes it hard to move his chair, but Joonmyeon perseveres. No matter the hardship, it’s worth it to see his smiling face. Jongdae bounces in his seat, excited to visit the ocean again, to be able to move freely by himself. He tells Joonmyeon that it’s ok, but the human knows that it exasperates him; not being able to move by himself.

No words are spoken as Joonmyeon helps Jongdae out of his clothes, but the merman laughs, ticklish, when he drags his fingers lightly over his skin. Joonmyeon bundles up his discarded clothes and puts them into his rucksack, along with his shoes and socks, and rolls up his jeans. He kisses Jongdae briefly. Then, he wheels the naked man into the water and watches fondly as he slips gracelessly into the water. It’s only in his true form that he has full control over his body. As soon as his body is fully submerged, his legs fuse together and scales grow over his newly formed tail. When the transformation is complete, Jongdae arcs out of the water, glistening in the moonlight. Joonmyeon swoons. It’s hard to describe how it feels just watching him enjoy himself, in his natural element. Almost every time they do this, Joonmyeon finds himself holding back tears- he gave up this life for him.

Jongdae swims away, looking behind him every so often to check that his lover hasn’t left. Each time, Joonmyeon makes sure to wave. He gathers up all their belongings and folds up the chair, carrying it all to an outcropping of rocks where he settles down to watch for the night. His boyfriend is surely the most beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on, and he will never tire of this. Not even if he has a wet butt from sitting on the rocks.

He must have come straight from a fairy tale. There’s no other explanation. His skin shines as he holds aloft a crab that wriggles in a manner he can only assume is playful, and his giggles sound like music in the silence. When he looks up at Joonmyeon with his liquid obsidian eyes he falls in love again for the thousandth time. How lucky he is.

“Joonmyeon!” Jongdae calls, swimming near and propelling himself upwards, so he leans against the rock between Joonmyeon’s legs. Joonmyeon holds him to make sure he doesn’t fall backwards, and rests his forehead against Jongdae’s.

“Yeah?” He asks, breathless. He always finds himself this way with Jongdae so close.

“Join me?” The merman whispers, “the water is nice.”

“The water is cold as always.” Joonmyeon shakes his head, “but maybe if you convince me.”

“If you come join me I’ll kiss you.” Jongdae grins, showing off his slightly pointed teeth.

“Hm, you make an offer I can’t refuse,”

“Good! Take these off,” Jongdae’s cold fingers slip underneath Joonmyeon’s shirt and make him jump.

“Ok, ok!” He laughs at Jongdae’s eagerness and strips off as quick as he can. Tentatively, he slips into the inky black water, and gasps. “It’s so cold!” Jongdae’s arms circle him,

“I’ll keep you warm,” he murmurs, lips brushing against his ear. Joonmyeon shivers, caught by Jongdae’s gaze. Jongdae’s lips fall open slightly. Joonmyeon is enraptured by him.

The merman laughs abruptly, the charged mood falling away in an instant.

“You tease!” Joonmyeon complains. The merman smiles playfully, and places a kiss on his cheek.

“Come with me,” Jongdae says, holding tightly to him, guiding him into deeper waters. They float  languidly on the surface, hand in hand, lulled by the gentle waves. Like this, Joonmyeon can forget about the real world. He can forget about his job, his awful manager, his insecurities. It’s like they both exist in their own world, and nothing else matters but them. He turns to his side, to look at Jongdae again, but he is caught in the action. He smiles at Joonmyeon like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

“I love you,” He sighs, eyes glistening. Something wells up inside Joonmyeon then, and he pulls Jongdae close, slanting his lips over his. Jongdae makes a startled sound, but reciprocates quickly, keeping them both afloat. Despite the chilly ocean, Joonmyeon feels warm with Jongdae’s hands around his waist. One of his hands finds its way to Jongdae’s hair, angling his head better so he can kiss him deeper. It’s sensory overload, bare skin against bare skin, smooth scales like silk against Joonmyeon’s thighs, and he doesn’t notice that Jongdae is moving until his back hits a rock. Jongdae’s lips move down towards his neck, sucking his adam’s apple and leaving marks he will have to cover up for work. Joonmyeon lets his head fall back against the stone, his breaths coming in gasps. He wraps his legs around Jongdae’s waist, and the merman moans- he can feel Joonmyeon’s arousal against him.

Jongdae hooks his hands under Joonmyeon’s legs and lifts him onto the ledge behind him, his feet still dangling in the water. Instead of joining him on the ledge, like Joonmyeon expects, Jongdae remains half in the water. His lips touch his stomach, and he caresses his inner thighs.

“I always wanted to try this,” he breathes, hot on his cool skin. Joonmyeon bites his lip. Water droplets hang like crystals from his hair, framing his face beautifully. But Jongdae’s eyes are on his erection. He inches forward and presses his pursed lips to the tip.

“Oh my God-!” Joonmyeon can’t stop himself from exclaiming, hands rushing upwards to Jongdae’s damp locks, fingers tangling there. The sudden move makes Jongdae look up, dark eyes wide with surprise, and the sight nearly causes the human to faint. “Ohh, Jongdae,” the merman takes him into his mouth and screws up his eyes. Somehow, their hands finds each other, and Joonmyeon squeezes.  This moment is so intimate, and Joonmmyeon’s heart is racing a mile a minute, his breathing coming in jagged bursts.

The sound of their voices mingle with the waves, and when Joonmyeon climaxes, his cry is lost to sea. Falling backwards, he slumps against the cliff face behind him, smiling sleepily.

“Good?” Jongdae teases, pushing himself up till their noses touch.

“What do you think?” Joonmyeon sighs, “I think I need you to take me back to the shore, I can’t move now.”

“Really? That good?” He laughs, “but of course I will take you back. You take me everywhere on land, it’s only fair that I be your transport out here!” He claims, placing yet more kisses on Joonmyeon’s all too willing lips.

“Sound logic.” Joonmyeon agrees, pinning his boyfriend to him and laying back, even as the other squirms. “Just give me….a moment… ahh, where are my clothes?” He ponders, unable to muster up the will to move right now. If he could just stay right here, with the love of his life, that would be perfect. “Love you so much, Jongdae. You’re my everything. Love you.”

“Why are you only like this after we make love.” Jongdae tuts, effectively ruining the moment. He shakes his head, then pecks his nose. “We need to get you to bed. I’m done swimming for tonight I think.”

“You sure? We might not be able to come back for a while.” Joonmyeon cups his cheek, and Jongdae leans into his touch.

“Yeah. As long as you’re here I’ll be ok.”

 


End file.
